Just bc you date, say, someone who doesn't share identical beliefs, does NOT mean you are being set up for poor family life or divorce in the future.

WIN

A clear understanding of the Scriptures concerning relationships between a man and a woman, and an observation of the downward decline of any and all forms of purity and quality in love, marriage, and family since dating has been the popular choice is a trenchant indicator of the annihilative nature of dating.

This is a blog a friend of mine wrote, listing the differences between dating, and it's biblical antithesis, courtship.
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=83116122276

I'm unable to read that note. In any case, I'd like to see you support yourself Biblically, since you said:



Because I could easily argue that the Internet is Unbiblical, or facebook, or cars, etc...So yeah, that argument is entirely ineffective. Please be more precise. And by precise I don't mean grab a thesaurus and see how many tiny words you can convert to 10 letter ones to sound smarter. *eye roll*

HAHA. Sorry, I like to use those words, I hope I didn't offend you. I wish I had a thesaurus with trenchant in it.

You bring a valid point. I simply wanted to shorten the amount I had to type, but since you can't read the link, I guess it's inevitable.

1. Dating is a one-on-one, male/female relationship mostly seen apart from the prospect of marriage. If you don't agree with this, ask someone you know, that is dating in high school, this question: "So, when's the date? When are you getting married?" The typical response will be "What? We don't plan on getting married." This is the case in most dating relationships. So, why do they date? Simple. To satisfy their selfish desires.

2. The man or woman can take the lead in initiating a relationship, while totally leaving out the counsel of the parents.

3. In dating, the man(actually, still a boy) is usually unable or has given little thought to meeting the criteria of being a husband or a father. Women(actually, still girls) usually enter a relationship unprepared for a married life.

4. Dating takes place mostly away from the home and family environment.

5. In dating, the father of the girl might get to meet the date, if he's lucky. He finds out about his child's engagement after it occurs.

6. Dating quickly leads to emotional and physical involvement without development of a deep, lasting friendship.

7. In courtship, a parent (or a spiritual authority) to oversee the relational development and to provide accountability for spiritual, emotional, and physical involvement is encouraged and desired. This is usually avoided in dating.

8. There are three types of oneness between a man and woman: Spiritual, Emotional, and Physical. In courtship, spiritual oneness is allowed once the courtship begins, then after the engagement, emotional oneness is allowed, then after marriage is the physical oneness, the consummation of the marriage. In dating, there are no holds barred. Oneness of all kinds is encouraged at all times.

9. Finally, two people of the opposite sex should never be alone together. In dating, this is permitted and encouraged.

I disagree here. Dating doesn't default to "satisfying selfish desires". You can't possibly make that assumption. Also you've failed to take into account the fact that Christians in particular are aware of this when dating. Dating can be a very multi-purpose social interaction. Whether it's for fun or just to hang out with someone special, get to know someone better, or a billion other reasons. Sure "selfish desire", aka sex, might be one of them, but it's certainly not the only singular reason; particularly for Christian couples.



Why is this bad, exactly? Consulting the parents is certainly important for younger-age couples but there's nothing wrong with seeing someone without "consulting" the parents first.



Why is this somehow a bad thing? Dating is a part of the preparation process. It's about finding out who you are, what you like, what you don't, and what God has in store for you.



Not always. And in cases it does, so what?



This is certainly case by case and not at all as general as you make it sound. Many men, and again, particularly Christian men, have the decency to get to know the girl's family and ask her father for his consent for marriage. Where you got the idea that dating excludes the family I have no clue, but it's not accurate.



Case by case once again. And once again, it depends on the couple.



That can and does happen in dating relationships as well. It depends on the couple, and obviously a non-Christian couple won't see this as important. A Christian couple, though, will, and that's where you'll see it in a Christian couple-dating relationship.



I've said this a few times, but you're really generalizing dating to what you must be hearing on TV about Hollywood. Many couples who date can easily contain themselves in a dating relationship that keeps the correct bounds (and I'm not sure what you listed is correct) on the relationship.



...yeah no.

--

And as I asked before, you explicitly said something about the Bible. I've yet to see a single shred of Biblical support here. So please, go back to each of your points and give me Biblical (read: scripture) reasons as to why those are important, and why dating is unable to accommodate that.

this is ridiculous... people date because they feel like they have to. it's the social norm to date, to be dating, or to want to date. also, people date because they associate the interaction with a "significant other" with happiness.. as in they can't be happy or be fulfilled without their "other half". some also date strictly for sexual interaction because they associate that with happiness as well. they feel if they are not getting "action", there is something wrong with them. these are personally destructive concepts and are mostly responsible for our society's high divorce rates.

dating can be a fun and satisfying thing, but people make the mistake of using such social interactions to fill in the gaps that their own self-dissatisfaction has left behind.

This post has been edited by Tickitytak: Nov 5 2009, 06:47 PM

This is a list of Scriptural principles of love and relationships:

-I Corinthians 6:9-7:19 (command to be pure, seriousness of sexual sin and instructions regarding marriage)
-I Thessalonians 4:1-8 (do not wrong or defraud one another in relationships — by implying a relationship or commitment by your words or conduct that does not actually exist)
-Song of Solomon 2:7 ("do not awaken love before it pleases" — i.e. before the proper time, meaning marriage)
-Proverbs 6:20-7:27 (warning to avoid sexual sin and foolish relationships)
-James 1:13-15 (temptation is to be taken very seriously)
-Romans 13:8-14 (love others, work for their soul's good; don't look to please self)
-Romans 14:1-15:7 (favor others, not self ... value what's good to their souls)
-I Timothy 5:1-2 (treat single women as sisters in Christ, with absolute purity)
-Titus 2:1-8 (young men and women should focus on self-control/godliness)
- John 14:15 (if you love Christ, you will obey His commands — read: above your own desires — and live biblically)

I think the main problem you will have with understanding this is the worldview you've been raised in. You grew up in a culture already immersed in the practice of dating, so things like two young people of the opposite sex being alone together, parents not being involved in choosing a partner and keeping the partners accountable, using dating to train and prepare children for marriage and family life, and many more are perfectly acceptable. Dating has absolutely nothing to do with marriage, family, or faith, and therefore has nothing to do with God's will for a man and a woman. It is a purely RECREATIONAL thing, and is fueled by selfish desires.

Dating teaches kids that love is only temporary, and if it doesn't feel good anymore, you should leave. It sets up for divorce later on in life. And as younger and younger children practice dating, with no objection from the parents of course, the divorce rates skyrocket. Young boys and girls learn to fulfill their fleshly passions early in life, and sexual promiscuity is something that is creeping into our middle schools.

Just like homosexuality, abortion, Islam, evolution, etc., Dating is the result of the Church(families) failing to do their part in teaching biblical principles to their children. Whatever you sow in the Church, you will reap in the nation. We have failed to stand up against sodomy, murder, lust, adultery, selfish ambitions, and vain philosophies in the Church, and these things have become the standard in our nation. God is judging America. You can see that in the way young people dress, and talk, and act, and date, and parents either encourage the behavior or ignore it.

check out the evolution thread if you have any questions. i'm sure we could clear up any misconceptions.

i'm pretty sure christians have stood up against "sodomy, murder, lust, adultery, selfish ambitions, and vain philosophies: very strongly in this nation, and the reason they have failed is because of the way they oppose these things. you have people marching the streets wearing shirts and carrying signs that say "God Hates Fags", there are many christians who not only support the war (i can't imagine Jesus being in favor of going to war) but are also wishing for the death of Islam. there's really no reason to stand up against murder seeing as how it's already illegal in this country (and contradicting if one supports war).

Dating is just preplanned hang outs.

If the kids are too immature to realize that, they probably shouldn't be dating.

Anyone immature enough to think that probably shouldn't be commentating on the subject.

^wrong there

Dating: noun:
a social appointment, engagement, or occasion arranged beforehand
a person with whom one has such a social appointment or engagement

This post has been edited by parkingwars: Nov 8 2009, 07:15 PM

However, that's not what is meant by the word date nowadays.

Haha, yes, yes. Don't worry, Mr. high school student; there's no way on earth the 21 year old has more experience than you with girls and boys.

You sure it's just not what you mean by the word nowadays? Life really changes when you get a highschool diploma

I'm not allowed to date until im 18 (im 17 now) and at the moment im greatful. My friend is having a hard time after her and her boyfriend broke up and all the stress and heartbreak is ridiculous!!! He's been a real jerking calling her [Mod Edit] all kinds of stuff. It's hard for her to just go to church and youth group with him being there. This past sunday we went out to eat and someone invited the ex-boyfriends family. Afterwords, he txted one of our friends that we were with saying to thank her for being polite...not sure if he was being sarcastic or if he really meant it. He was parked next to us. She opened the door and said "You're welcome", after she shut the door she just lost it...broke down... I know this much of an argument but I just wanted to put it in.

I'm waiting for the right time but i kinda want to thank my dad for not letting me date. When one of the guys at our church asked me to go tho his prom with him, i was a little upset when my dad wouldn't let me go. But now i'm really gald....It's way to much to deal with at this age with all the drama. I don't care how mature you may be...at sixteen-seventeen you don't even know who you are much less who the other person is or who and what you want to do with your life....

This post has been edited by Zabby: Nov 11 2009, 09:24 PM

if a person cannot be happy while single, they'll most likely have a very unstable relationship in the future.

This post has been edited by Zabby: Nov 11 2009, 09:26 PM

What exactly is a 'date' because I've never done that with a girl I've been with since I've never felt the need to give my interactions with a cute girl a talismanic significance on par with opening the ark of the covenant.