my parents told me to wait until I was sixteen but they let my sister start dating when she was thirteen. I'm glad they made me wait. My sister has gotton herself into some difficult situations that my mom has had to get her out of. I think at sixteen a teen is somewhat mature but that the parents need to call it since they can judge how mature and trustworthy their teens are.

Here here!!!

QUOTE

I think at sixteen a teen is somewhat mature but that the parents need to call it since they can judge how mature and trustworthy their teens are.

I agree with you on that. I think that is depends on how mature the person is, but that there should be some rules and guidelines that are either set by the parents or the individual. Everyone should have a (Biblically-based) line drawn that they decide not to cross and are willing to stick to it before they even begin a relationship with someone.
-just my opinion

If you are talking about "dating" in the literal sense of the word (going to dinner or something with a member of the opposite gender or something like that) it is deffinetly best to wait. But, if you are talking the standard Junior High kid's version of "dating" (just having someone that you can call your "boyfriend" or "girlfriend"), I think that that does not necesarily have to be before junior high or whatever. I mean, what do you really do when you are just "going out"? Your spending time with that person in a non-one-on-one setting and getting to know them better. I'm 14 and I have a girlfriend. I know that getting to know her better has given me a deeper respect for girls, therefore helping me in my struggle for sexual purity (guys should know what I mean). I think that a relationship that is not exactly one-on-one is OK as long as it is done the right way and the relationship does not get in the way of them and God.

I've stated my peace

And you stated it very nicely, I believe. Thank you.

I'd say the points CrossedOver43524 are more dangerous than any other kind of dating. That sets young people up for broken marraiges, in some cases. You have this, person you like for a time, and then when they don't fit "your needs" you move on to someone else. The entire point of dating, or courting is to move towards something solid and long lasting, something that can work through problems, even when the feelings start to fade. I have heard stories from enough married people to know that at points in the marraige those aren't there. Love is more than a feeling.

That's why I said that it is good if it is done in the RIGHT WAY and if God is the center of the relationship. It's not doing it right to go out with someone to fit "your needs". The way a relationship is supposed to work is that each person is in it not for themselves but to serve the other person. Now, I'm not saying that everyone that has a boyfriend/girlfriend is doing it right. Sadly, there is rarely anyone in the public school system that is in it for something deeper than just filling "their needs".

QUOTE) The entire point of dating, or courting is to move towards something solid and long lasting, something that can work through problems, even when the feelings start to fade. (QUOTE

Well stated. If the focus of their life is on God and not just filling "their needs", all of the other pieces fall into place. You will learn to walk through problems, and the relationship will be long lasting. If the focus is on growing closer to God FIRST, THAT'S when you are doing it right. When you grow closer to God, you grow closer to your boyfriend/girlfriend.

The beneficial part of that kind of "dating" that I see is that you actually get to know the girl deeper than skin-deep. I know my girlfriend better than any other woman (besides my mother and sister), and I don't think that it would have ever happened that way unless we started to "go out".

I agree totaly with you. If the relationship is a selfish relationship (doing it just to fill "your needs"), it probably will not fare well with the guy and girl. If the relationship is a healthy, non-selfish relationship, it is very beneficial and will most likely prepare the two people for what is to come (at least better preparation than if they didnt go out in the first place).

It all has to be done right.

OK Here's my whirl of the view of dating.

Maturity and age BOTH matter. I think If someone is going to start dating, wait until atleast you're 16. ALSO if you are mature. The purpose of dating SHOULD be to find your mate.

AS for me, I want to wait till college. Unless the Lord has other plans for me. I want to cort a women. Before I cort a women, I want to know her for a while. She absolutely has to be a Christian and godly women. If I cort, its for to find my mate.

I personally don't want to get "involved" with girls right now. I know it would screw me up. And it has already screwed up my friends as well. Kid's these days want to grow up to stinken fast. They don't enjoy their care free life. Dating can take alot out of you. Kids today feel alone and want to fill it with dating and other things of the world. But they need JESUS and get deep with him.

And kids say "I love you" to stinken fast as well. They don't know what Love is. All it is, "I really like you" and thats it.

Those are my whirls of subject. LAter....

QUOTE (ThereNbackAgain @ Nov 30 2004, 10:34 PM)

And kids say "I love you" to stinken fast as well. They don't know what Love is. All it is, "I really like you" and thats it.

I agree. Its sad really, too many people are in pain because they rushed into relationships they had no busieness being in.

I agree with you guys about kids saying "I love you". Relationships that early should not be about "love", because they really don't know what love is. Relationships should be about getting to know the other person better (at least when you are like younger than 18 or something). I tell my girlfriend that I love her, but that's with the understanding that it is the same thing as me telling my mom I love her or one of my Christian brothers that I love them. It's a brother/sister love, not a fake boyfriend/girlfriend love.

I just have to say it's very interesting to hear you guys/girls take on dating. Some of it seems very thought out and respectful and some ideas seem like you're very young and haven't "gotten" it yet, but that's cool cause you will eventually (hopfully). Obviously I'm not going to point people out, but it certainly is interesting.

It is important to point out though, that these are your own personal beliefs and takes on dating and should never be enforced by anyone else but a child's parents.

Dating can be a touchy subject. If you are going to date, just make sure God is in the relationship and that He comes first. And try not to be alone with the person for any long periods of time.

If God is in the relationship and is indeed coming first...what's the risk of being alone for a long period of time?

It could be "tempting" physically and sexually.

Yup...

But is being tempted a sin though? I thought only the follow through was a sin.

If god truely is a big part of the relationship, and both people were on the same page then I don't see it as being a problem.

if i recall correctly i think there is a verse in the bible suggesting that you keep yourself out of tempting situations.

QUOTE

But is being tempted a sin though

Being tempted is no sin. It's falling into temptation that's wrong.

He's right. It's not the temptaiont that's the sin. It's what you do w/ti...

QUOTE (BornAgainAthiest @ Dec 2 2004, 03:11 PM)

It could be "tempting" physically and sexually.

Exactly what he said. Just because I am Christian does not mean I am not tempted.

when u know ur mature enough.

i dunno i went on my first date when i was like 13
but thats not like a real date
i dont go on dates that often
i dont realy buy into that whole thing
i usualy just like to go hang out with a girl but i never like arange it or call it a date

QUOTE (ServantOfGod @ Dec 2 2004, 06:41 PM)

QUOTE (BornAgainAthiest @ Dec 2 2004, 03:11 PM) It could be "tempting" physically and sexually. Exactly what he said. Just because I am Christian does not mean I am not tempted.

she

QUOTE (pzman @ Nov 30 2004, 05:39 PM)

I'd say the points CrossedOver43524 are more dangerous than any other kind of dating. That sets young people up for broken marraiges, in some cases. You have this, person you like for a time, and then when they don't fit "your needs" you move on to someone else. The entire point of dating, or courting is to move towards something solid and long lasting, something that can work through problems, even when the feelings start to fade. I have heard stories from enough married people to know that at points in the marraige those aren't there. Love is more than a feeling.

well put!~

QUOTE (ThereNbackAgain @ Nov 30 2004, 10:34 PM)

OK Here's my whirl of the view of dating. Maturity and age BOTH matter. I think If someone is going to start dating, wait until atleast you're 16. ALSO if you are mature. The purpose of dating SHOULD be to find your mate. AS for me, I want to wait till college. Unless the Lord has other plans for me. I want to cort a women. Before I cort a women, I want to know her for a while. She absolutely has to be a Christian and godly women. If I cort, its for to find my mate. I personally don't want to get "involved" with girls right now. I know it would screw me up. And it has already screwed up my friends as well. Kid's these days want to grow up to stinken fast. They don't enjoy their care free life. Dating can take alot out of you. Kids today feel alone and want to fill it with dating and other things of the world. But they need JESUS and get deep with him. And kids say "I love you" to stinken fast as well. They don't know what Love is. All it is, "I really like you" and thats it. Those are my whirls of subject. LAter....

I agree!