What do you think about having an online relationship, meaning a relationship over the internet where the couple has never met in person before? Are you for or against them? Please give your reasons why ^ ^

I'm in one and so far its going beautifully, but I also heard that most online relationships, especially long-distance ones (which is the majority of them and the kind i'm in right now) don't last. I've been together with my boyfriend for a little over a month, and I was friends with him for two months before then. We met randomly on an rpg website (we iz major dorks..) and started talking in private chat, and when i felt like i could trust him, video chat. He's a really good friend, and is everything I was looking for in a boyfriend; kind, funny, caring, loves God, etc... We've both talked about our standards/expectations/priorities and they match up almost perfectly, and we're both committed to the relationship. Everything seems to be right except for the distance and the fact that his family doesn't really know me (most of my family members/sister& brothers are friends with him actually.. i met him thru my sister ^ ^). We're meeting in a couple of months. Originally, we'd planned on waiting until we met to get into a relationship, but it just didn't feel right to look for other people while I was waiting to meet him, and now we're already talking about going to college together (he'd come down to my state in 2 years). Do you think we're making the right decision, or are things going too fast? I want to hear your thoughts because both of our parents are constantly saying "you haven't even met each other!!!"

Also, has anyone else been in an online relationship?

I think its fine if the two people plan to meet, but if you never meet and just have a relationship over the computer than to me it's not a real relationship and your basically falling in love with the certain image that they can present to you online. Doing a computer only relationship doesn't seem like it would work out since you can't really get to know a person or see how they act around family or friends by having a strictly computer only relationship. From someone who has dated though I will tell you this you shouldn't plan your future around a boy including college because I know too many people who have gone to college XYZ because their bf or gf goes their and when it doesn't work out it can leave a lot of hurt feelings especially at a young age with moving across state lines to be with that person is a lot of pressure to put on a relationship.

This post has been edited by Glamour_Dollxoxo: Nov 5 2009, 05:49 PM

online relationships don't exist.

It's possible to make them work, although in my opinion, it's nearly impossible.

I think the fact that you're planning to meet makes things a little better though.

I met my boyfriend, Peter aka Eclipse on here, on CTF, well on a skype call with CTF members. Anywho, that was back in May 2008 that we started talking. We started to talk like every day until all hours of the night. Both of us told ourselves online relationships don't work, so we just shrugged it off. I started to really like him, and felt pretty dumb about it, haha. But in the end, we both liked each other too much to just shrug it off anymore. We decided to be a couple.

He started to save money to fly down from Canada to Alabama to see me. May 2 of this year, my family and I picked him up from the airport and he stayed with us for a whole month. Best times I've ever had, I can't even explain how amazing it was. I am flying up there in 45 days for Christmas. I'll be staying 3 weeks. I hope to move up there in June. We's getting married next year.

So despite all the judgment and doubts from other people, especially from everyone around where I am, we have made it. It can work. It isn't easy. Especially not being able to see the one you love after you've got to spend time with them. When Peter left that day, I've never been so sad. I cried until I couldn't cry anymore. It's so worth it though. He's everything I prayed for, and i know without a shadow of a doubt that he is the one God made for me and I for him.

Good luck with your relationship, Ally! Just keep God first and He will help you guys so much with the distance, believe me. Had it not been for God, this would have never worked.

This post has been edited by BreatheYouIn: Nov 5 2009, 08:07 PM

Neither to friendly Atheists.

bah. yes they do.

I'm in one. Nine months November 14th
Met him on here, i did. It's been amazing. We've met twice, i'm seeing him again in two weeks, AND over Christmas. We want to get married.
So, if you think it's worth it and he's an amazing person, stick with it.

Online relationships work if you want them to work and they are meant to work. I have been in one before. (Through CTF) Distance didnt play into our relationship whatsoever, and it wasn't the reason we broke up. So I'm praying for you and you're boyfriend that things work out!

(I MEAN LOOK AT PETERSTEPH! They're like. Amazing )

Eh. I think they are... hard. I mean, I personally have never had a relationship online, but they seem to be a little fishy. Not everyone is like they are on the internet. In real life, I'm not completely crazy, and I'm a little quiet if I don't know someone that well. Of course, I'm not lying to anyone, its just easier to be more open on the internet for some reason. What if when you meet this person, you are disapointed because he/she isn't like he/she was on the internet. It happens. *Shrugs*
I honestly don't know what I stand on this, but at the moment I won't be dating anyone off the internet.

They're hilarious.

I've heard lots of cases - including the ones here on CTF - of people meeting online and eventually getting into a relationship, and a lot of the time it really works out well for both of them.

So I'm not opposed to online relationships, as long as it starts out with both of them being safe until they're sure they can trust each other.

And hey, what an interesting story to tell your kids! xD

lol thanks for all of your answers so far! i'm so glad to hear about all of the successful ldr's (long distance relationships), and yes I will def be keeping God first throughout the relationship. I try to pray about it every day and make sure I'm doing what goes along with God's will, which so far has worked out pretty well ^^

I know that a lot of 'online relationships' are pretty unrealistic, and we both realize this & try to do things to make it seem as realistic as possible, like sending each other stuff & talking on webcam as much as possible instead of just instant messaging & stuff like that. I've been in a pretty unrealistic one [almost] as well, and it didn't go well at all... I never took it seriously and mostly used it as an escape from real life, having a totally unrealistic view of the guy I talked with=/ (he even had a gf that he didn't tell me about until later... yeah, that wasn't a proud moment for me). We never were realistic about it at all. So I def have past experience to learn from.

I think if you're in an online relationship to escape from real life, or because it's "easier", then it's not a real relationship... or at least, not a healthy one. In fact, I'd avoid an online relationship altogether unless you can't see yourself without him/her in your life. Its really hard so far but he's worth it!=]

yeahhh I agree, Glamour_doll, it wasn't really me deciding to go to college with him so early & i'm trying to talk him out of making the decision so quickly... he wants to come down to my state=/ I don't want him to break up with me (can't see that happening but you never know) and then feel like he's wasted his college experience & regret it.

This post has been edited by rokcndy: Nov 6 2009, 03:48 PM

I see nothing wrong with them, but I do know that it's hard to keep one.
I know that I wouldn't be able to have a relationship online.
Before me and my boyfriend were together, we were friends and he met girls on facebook from several states away and dated them, and the longest one he had was for two weeks because she 'cheated' on him with her ex.
My point is that you never really know what that person could be doing in real life, meaning they could say "Oh yeah, I love you" But in reality, they could be hooking up with random other people. Not saying that all are like that, because I know some people on here have relationships that have lasted a while and are still going strong.
All I'm saying is that they're hard.
You never know how that person acts around other people unless you have met them, and I know from a friend of mine that people lie about a lot of things online.
It's just a matter of finding a truthful person who you can trust I suppose.
If you can do that, then yeah sure.

Eh, I'm not completely sure I agree with online relationships. No offense, but I think it's the wimpy way out. You can be anyone you want to be on the internet, so it may end up that your boyfriend/girlfriend falls in love with that "character" you set up. Also, for the sake of lying who you really are on the computer, I don't think it's safe (could be a pedophile). On top of my bashing internet relationships (lol) I don't agree with people meeting through eHarmony either. If you're going to have a genuine relationship, meet in real life. If you can't get a person in real life, chances are it is too late.

Now I know this isn't true for all people. I know people who have had success with eHarmony and online relationships. But this is just my opinion.

This wins.

That's a long distance relationship, and you just so happened to meet here. This isn't what I'm talking about when I say that online relationships don't exist.

Personally, I think if you meet someone online, it won't work for many many reasons. There is a very small chance getting to know someone via internet will turn out good.

Now, if you have a real life partner, and you seem to be away from each other, yes, this may work to stay in touch until the day you reunite.

There is also something called a telephone for that

God bless.

Well, for five of the nine months, it was online(ctf and fb)/web cam/phone calls. So yes, it was online. It became long distance AFTER we met.

Seconded.

Although being friends online and meeting up with them somewhere along the line, that's different and workable, but for me I honestly wouldn't do it, and hey where's the fun? the hanging out together and stuff while getting to know about each other.

He isn't coming until next summer......

For once I'm agreeing with Mr. Atheist over here, online relationships don't actually exist. It's just a relationship where you communicate via the internet.

If I talk to the someone on the phone, do I have a phone relationship?

I wanna be your Phonefriend!!!

Noo.... we could have a text relationship and be TEXTBUDDIES!!! or how about writing letters and having a letter relationship....

This post has been edited by mintchocochip: Nov 8 2009, 12:04 AM

Had a few, they didn't work out. I still think they can work though.

Never had one but I wouldn't ever be able to like someone romantically without meeting them first. I'm more of a "chemistry" kind of person. And what AFA said, Online relationships don't exist.
There's no love over the internet, there can be after you've met though.