Hey you all. Most of you probably don't remember me but i havent been on CTF for months. I use to be here all the time but somehow i got away from it. I need help. Im so depressed right now. About so many things i dont know where to start. Im just tired of my life and my situation. I feel that God doesnt care for some reason. I know he does but i feel like he doesnt. My life was running pretty smoothly all the way up til my sophmore year in highschool. Now i cant remember the last time i been happy. I've went through alot, some of the things were my fault some wasnt. It just feels like that statement about "i can do all things through christ who strengthens me" is not true. Ive always had a dream of, becoming a McDonalds all american in highschool. ( i play basketball) skipping college and going pro. That didnt happen. I always wanted to average 30 points a game. That hasnt happened. I know this is small stuff but theres alot more things that I've seriously prayed and worked hard for that never came to past. and it feels like my life has been meaningless all the way up to this point. im 19. a freshman in college. I have the craziest dreams and goals i want to achieve but i dont how there going to be achieved, i want to one day to make it to the NBA. i want to have my own TV show one day like Will Smith did. I want to help millions of people around the world, in someway, wether its entertainment or something else. I just don't know how this is going to happen. I just want my dreams to come to past. I know God hears my prayers. Im a good kid too. Im not a saint or anything, but i dont drink, i dont smoke, have sex, and i still feel like im behind. I only got offered 1 scholarship in highschool. i was ranked top 10 in my state, and i only had 1. alot of kids that i was better than got scholarships over me. i always feel that i never got what i deserved, i always felt like i was cheated. Like i live in a small area were basketball is not big, so players here get overlooked by the players in the bigger cities. I felt like i was cheated in that situation too. It's just alot of things. I could have went to a University straight out of highschool but i failed my math class, by like 2 percentages, my teacher wouldnt pass me. That was partly my fault cuz i didnt work hard. And sometimes in basketball i didnt play hard. Now i promised myself that i would never make the same mistake again by not studying hard or playing hard. In highschool i spent most of my time playing basketball i didnt used to hang out with friends, i was kind of anti social, but i just wanted to play basketball cuz thats what i love to do. I never really talked to girls, or hang out with them i was really shy. Til this day i never even kissed a girl or dated one. And I feel terrible. I feel like im the only guy who hasnt did anything with a girl. Guys ask me sometimes about girls and stuff, and i just get quiet cuz i have nothing to say. i dont even have a girl number in my phone! I just feel like less of a guy. But i always tried to respect girls, and not just sleep with them like most guys do. no sex before marriage. But sometimes i get mad cuz i never had a girl.It feels like girls dont even know i exist. I just think to myself i really try to be a good kid, i pray, read the bible, and not have sex, or do drugs, so why does this [MOD EDIT] stuff happen to me. Sorry if i cussed. but why? why dont i get what i deserve. I should be at a university by now, but im at a junior college. Like i said earlier, its like my life is meaningless. I havent made in impact on the world like i want to. I just get so mad, it feels like prayer does nothing. it feels like god is so far away he doesnt hear me. I get so mad and depressed i feel like crying.... im just tired of being lost, confused and unfulfilled. i want my life to take me beyond my wildest dreams, i dont want to live an average life. i want it to be fun, unpredictable. my life feels the complete opposite. i just want to be happy. If i dont make the Nba one day for some reason, i just want to be happy in life. and i havent been happy for quite some time now. i just feel mad at life, and i feel like im so far away from god, it feels like i have no relationship with him. thats probably the most frustrating thing of all that it feels like i have no relationship with god. i want him to talk to me. i wish i could just talk to him like im talkin to you guys right now, and he talks back and tells me everything i need to do, or should do... Im sorry this is super long, i just wanted to tell somebody on how I feel. theres more stuff but i would be typing forever..

Hey...
I don't have time to respond fully right now.
send me a PM and I'll be reminded


Sometimes God's views of success are different than the world's.

Don't give up.
Seems you're just starting to realize that you've been dropped in the middle of a dark, confusing world. I've been there, and I don't have all the answers but if you trust in God and let Him guide you, you will make it home.
1. Getting what you deserve -
I hate to break it to you, but none of us deserve an ounce of happiness. The Bible says that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and you need to realize that even if you've done great things, they don't get you a single thing in this world. Salvation is only given to you by God because He loves you, and not because of anything you've done or earned. Try to understand that things go past just how you act because God is more important than your character. While it's great that you refrain from sex and drugs and it pleases God very much, try not to do it because you think you'll get rewards on earth - rewards come in heaven.
2. Your goals -
You definitely have your sights very high. I'm not going to tell you your destinations are impossible because if it's what God plans you'll absolutely complete your goals. But I have to tell you you definitely don't have to touch millions of people to be important. It's hard to believe in the power of the ordinary man in today's society when we worship celebrities and famous people. And I don't know how much you believe in fate, but God really can use one person in amazing ways, even if they're not highly seen. We don't even know the sheperd's names in the story of Jesus's birth, but God still used them to show his amazing glory, and even though no one at the time knew about them, today anyone who's seen a nativity scene sees that while they were no one special or well-known, they played a part in a miracle. So while it's good to set your sets high, don't think that God doesn't want to use you just because it's not in what seems to be a big way. Just by being one of His children, each day you're making a huge difference for the better and being one of God's lights in a chaotic world. Never think that God's love for you depends on you being famous because He loves you for exactly what you are (of course, disregarding sin). Even if people don't know your name, you still make a difference every day.
3. Girls -
People act as if dating is a huge, complex experience you need years of experience in to do correctly. But I know plenty of people who have "experience" and still know nothing about what they should be looking for in a life partner.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with not having had a girlfriend. It doesn't make you a freak. It makes you a busy person who hasn't come across the right girl yet, and relationships are nowhere near what they're cracked up to be - most of it is infatuation, which often ends badly. The most important thing is that you don't get overly caught up in the experience when you find your first potential wife - think about whether she has good character, not just if she makes you happy, because she won't make you happy all the time. Check the last chapter of Proverbs for guidance on picking a good wife in the long-run, which believe me, is what you really want. When it comes to girls, look ahead.
Now that that's over, don't sweat it with girls so much. God has already written down everything that will happen to you in your lifetime, and nothing will stop it from happening, so know your future wife is in His hands. And if you aren't meant to be married, He has even better plans.

Also try not to focus on this world too much... God is going to take you to heaven when it's through, and it's going to be so much more permanent and lasting that it'll be like this earth never even existed. So don't set all your hopes on this life, or you'll get disappointed. Also I know you play basketball, but remember to get a fair amount of exercise and LOTS of sleep. Trust me - your outlook on life could be completely different when you take care of yourself.
I hope you feel better - please update. Don't give up on God because He's is always right beside you, even if you can't feel Him or feel as if you aren't be noticed. Happiness is at the end of this long tunnel; the wait is long, but you won't remember it so don't give into despair.

We all go through those stages at that age where we just don't know what comes next. Hang in there, it'll be worth it in the end.

I'm 19 and have never had a girlfriend. I do hang out with several girls, some who have liked me and been interested in dating me. I turned them down because they are not christian, some were sexually active and wanted that as part of a relationship. When you have girls around you who are not christian, they are very different in how they view sex and fooling around..but the sad thing is a lot of them feel like they are worthless. They are fun, cool people but they have a sense of being worthless or stupid because of jerks who try to use them for sex or whatever. I hate this. I hate the idea of friends I value very much being used and abused. I know girls who want to have sexual relationships just because they're friends our, some are even as young as 14.
If I were to date one of these girls then I would have a relationship full of temptation. Ive been asked to make out for the hell of it and stuff and I just have to say no. My best friend is a girl who I feel as though im very in love with but shes not christian. She has totally different views on what's appropriate and thinks im kind of strange because im christian. The point is that you have to wait for God to show you the right girl. I know it sucks because everyone around you may be dating or fooled around or whatever but you have to keep a sense of what is important! So what if your friends are dating, or having sex or w\e you are waiting for God to show you the right person, not whoever comes along thats easy.

You may feel like you are not reaching your goals because god doesnt care. I think you are going after the wrong goals. Ask yourself why you really want to be a basketball player, is it fame and fortune or something else that really is selfish. We all have a destiny to help others in god. Even if you feel like at this point you have nothing to offer, you still actually do have much. The message at church was actually about this today. When mosses talked to God and he was told to lead the people out of slavery.. he said god please choose someone else! I cant do it. I have nothing to offer, im just a Shepard. God told him to throw down his staff, an old wooden stick and it turned into a snake, and God told him by this you will prove to all you come in the name of the lord. What once was just an old stick became a power tool, The Rod of God that parted the Red sea. The point is even when you think you have nothing to offer, you still have so much. You think you can help people by becoming an NBA player but even just talking to friends about God can bring them to Christ and transform their lives and so many others. Your life is certainly not worthless.

i grew up christian along with a few of my best friends. They just started dating recently in college, and i have dated some in HS, but was never in a relationship. Actually the majority of people do not date until college. Also highschool sucks.

I think you have some really high set goals, maybe you should find someone to mentor you and give advice. I remember in high school the thing counselors always said was if you plan to go pro have a backup plan.

hey. Your dreams are important. God wants to make thosedesires come to pass. They are there bc He put them there. not to tease you with what you cant have, but to give them to you. i have been depressed for just about my whole life, but now that I see God for who He truly is, i experience joy i never knew.

check out my friend's, e zine if you get a chance.this guy has really helped me a lot. i'd be dead if not for him.

http://www.wellfocusimpact.com/