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Everything posted by chozen1116

  1. chozen1116

    hormone levels

    Okay so I'm a single 21 yr old female with an insane hormone level. The short of it is my body craves sex like nobodys business. I fully believe in abstinence and waiting for my husband but I've had my short falls over the last few months where I've had guys over to help me sexually but it doesn't last. I'm trying so hard to wait for my husband but my body craves it all so badly. I did have a fallopian tube removed several years ago due to an ovarian cyst but I don't know if that causes hormonal issues. I am on birth control to prevent cysts. Its just a constant struggle. Advice please?
  2. chozen1116


    I really need a family. I don't have one. My parents are burdened by me to the point where they only talk to me when they want money, my sibling despises me. I don't have any close friends, I'm very alone in life. I'm currently struggling with depression really badly as well as an addiction to sexual sin. And yet I have no one to talk to that will talk with me about these things. I'm told I burden people with my life and I honestly just don't know what to do. I really, really need a family. I need a really close friend. I just don't know. I know not many of you will actually pray but the few of you that will, please pray for God to bring me a really close, loving and accepting friend that won't tell me how much of a burden I am to them. These walls I put up, I'm crumbling beneath them. I really need someone.
  3. chozen1116

    Pray for Baby Delcardo

    Oh.... Amen!
  4. chozen1116

    walking the path again

    My counselor has placed me back on suicide watch as of today. Worrying about me committing suicide, keeping extremely close tabs on me, making sure I communicate with her often and see her a lot. Unfortunately I have a history of this, but this time feels so overwhelming. Prayers would be appreciated.
  5. chozen1116

    walking the path again

    My counselor has been in my life for almost 10 years now for a variety of issues. My struggle with depression and suicide right now is because I am so alone in life, I really am. I don't have family, I don't have friends, I'm alone. I'm really struggling. She's keeping close tabs on me because there's really no one else who will.
  6. chozen1116

    Ask A Girl.

    When I see two guys hug I think "bromance" as well. As long as the hug doesn't last a really long time. If one guy starts crying I will begin praying for him silently, sometimes even walk over and put my hand on their shoulder and pray (pending how well I know them), I don't jump directly to thinking they're gay or weird... that's just not me.
  7. chozen1116

    Hair Removal (Pubic Region)

    I've got to say... I agree that having hair... there.. during my period makes me feel so gross and disgusting.... I do fully believe in staying maintained, I don't necessarily shave... there... everytime I shower, but when it starts becoming a little too much to me I do try and trim everything down.... I don't know, I know it's there for some reason but to me I just feel disgusting with hair there. The worst part is when I go for my gyn exams... I always feel like my Dr (even though it's a woman), is like critiquing how well I've shaved... there... in her mind during the exam :/
  8. chozen1116

    youth student

    Im a youth leader at my church and I was just told that a 14 yr old male student of mine committed suicide today. Our students are a wreck and leaders are all in tears. Please pray for comfort for all of us and strength for us leaders to be able to be there for these kids.
  9. chozen1116

    Talking about sex in church...

    I agree that maybe a normaly sunday sermon shouldn't be on this. However I think it's an excellent idea to provide classes for youth, young adults, and maybe even single adults, where they could openly ask questions and feel safe in doing so.
  10. chozen1116

    youth student

    the students aren't being told exactly what happened but leaders have been told that he did indeed commit suicide, he hung himself last saturday and after being held on life support for 24 hours, passed away in the hospital last sunday. It has been a severely emotional week for me, I'm trying to remain strong for my kids which isn't allowing me to cope and shed the tons of tears I'm holding back. Just please continue keeping us in prayer as we try and make sense of this tragedy, and try to move forward. ---------- Post added at 09:23 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:23 PM ---------- I'm also really struggling with guilt because of this, so much. so prayer for that as well would be appreciated.
  11. chozen1116

    Talking about sex in church...

    My parents never talked to me about sex growing up, I learned everything that I know by google searching anything I heard at school, and by meeting wrong people online and getting in lots of trouble. I strongly agree that these topics should be spoken about in church because people need to understand God's view and why, and they need to feel safe talking about things like this. Thankfully, there is one woman at my church that has openly offered to talk about sex with me and she has answered every question that I've asked honestly and lovingly. I have lots of questions because I was sexually abused by an ex boyfriend and so I've never seen the truth of what God wanted sex to be. It sincerely helps when people will openly talk about it with you, especially when you don't have outlets to turn to.
  12. chozen1116

    Pray for Baby Delcardo

    That breaks my heart. God has got this, he will be alright and someday he can preach for Jesus on his healing. Praying <3
  13. What's a samba band?

  14. chozen1116

    Lusting Issues?

    I have the same problem, but mine is with porn. definitely pray. Also, check out the x3 app if you hqve a smart phone. It's an acciuntability app and its seriously been helping me
  15. chozen1116

    Kissing- should it wait for marriage?

    I said wait simply because I didn't. And I regret it. I have very low self esteem and I gave my first kiss away to a guy who ended up sexually and physically abusing me. It brings me to tears now knowing I didn't save ny first kiss, but I'm definitely saving my next one. For my engagement
  16. chozen1116

    New video

    Amazing! God has blessed you with such an amazing voice
  17. chozen1116

    really awkward question

    This is really awkward for me to even mention but I've always wondered, is it safe for females to shave their "lower intimate area"? Or like, can it somehow damage you so when you are married something is damaged making sex painful?
  18. chozen1116


    I don't really know why but I severely struggle when it comes to change in regards to relationships in my life. I don't have any grandparents, not much blood family at all. My brother hates me, yes I know this for a fact. I grew up without friends so I feel really alone and I fear losing the few people that I do have in my life. Yet when it comes to these relationships, someone getting married or having a baby or something major like that, even thinking about it or talking about it almost sets me into "shutdown" mode and really scares me. I don't really understand this and I don't know how to make it change. I've been assured by my mentor that even when she does have children someday that she will still love me just as much and that the only thing that will change is how often I get to speak with her/see her; that I won't lose her. My heart wants to believe this but I know it's not true, I will lose her and I couldn't even begin to explain how much I fear being left alone in this life again. I don't really know where to turn anymore, though I do intend on having a long talk with my counselor about this tomorrow. I just wish change wasn't so hard for me, I wish I had the ability to adapt to these things in an easier way.... I just don't.
  19. chozen1116


    Long story short. My brother lives on the other side of the country from me and married this girl in May that I barely know/knew and it really took a toll on me emotionally. I flew down about 2 months ago to spend a week with them to try and get to know her, accept her. While there, my brother set off a tazer not even a foot in front of my face causing me to emotionally breakdown and cry, amongst many other visible signs of being petrified and despite me pleading "no, please stop" he continued to set it off. Well, I haven't spoken to him or his wife in almost 2 months and tonight I was texting with him and he told me that he still blames me for the incident saying that I had no right to freak out, as well as saying that I've made no progress in regards to people over the last 8 yrs that I've been in counseling (though this reaction has nothing to do with socializing, but everything to do with him delegitimizing my fear). We've agreed to not speak until further notice. I'm heartbroken. I cried the entire drive to church tonight and for a good 10 mins after I got there. Family to me isn't blood, but the people closest to you and I feel he doesn't know me anywhere near as much as he thinks he does. He's the kind of person who always has to be right and I don't think he is this time. I feel so broken, so alone. My parents blame it on me, my counselor and my mentor are the only ones on my side telling me that what he did was wrong and that I need space from him for a while. I don't feel safe with him at all and I don't know if I ever will at this point. Please just keep me in prayer as I try and sort through my emotions, trying to pick up the shattered pieces of my heart and allow Jesus to mend me back together.
  20. chozen1116

    Stuff You Wish Guys Knew

    I wish guys knew that not all girls are looking to have sex with them. Sometimes we just genuinely want a friend, not always to confide in but just a friend. And I agree with previous posters, a hug from a guy can make a girls day, and having a guy refer to a girl as "sweetheart", man, that just makes us melt.
  21. chozen1116

    rent a teen

    my youth group does rent a teen. every year every member of the youth group goes up for rent to work for someone for 4 hours one day and do whatever they tell them to do. the youth group gets paid $10 for every hour we serve and all the money goes toward the youth retreats and such. well, ive been praying about doing it and i found out a few days ago that we are doing it again !!!
  22. Soooooooo excited for you....!!!!!!!!!!! That's amazing... Congrats.... now you've got to pm me the name of the school so I can start praying.
  23. I love your username. Just thought you should know

  24. chozen1116

    third cyst

    I've developed my third Ovarian Cyst. The first one claimed my left fallopian tube and part of that ovary, the second God healed during an ultrasound and now I'm on my third. Tomorrow I've been scheduled for another internal and external ultrasound to see how big it is and if we need to plan surgery again. Please just keep me in prayer... I'm only 20, and no one my age should be staring being baren in the face... no one.
  25. chozen1116

    Would you?!

    really don't know. it really depends on what God tells me. purity is a major thing to me and if he has kids than he has had sex, he's not a virgin and when I get married I will be. I'd really have to seek God about that.