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About muzikstar1

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    worship pastor/young adult singles' pastor
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    reading, hanging out with family and friends
  1. muzikstar1

    How far is too far?

    First of all, you stated your beliefs clearly in the beginning. In Romans 14, Paul said, "whatever is not done in faith is sin." If you have to ask about these activities, you are not participating in them with complete confidence that God is okay with you doing them, that would make them wrong for you. Secondly, you have to ask yourself if a girl giving you a bj is something that is you showing love to her, is it about using her for self-gratification, which is making a prostitute out of her without paying her. The other issue is of course, Paul's admonition in I Corinthians 7 that is good for a man to not touch a woman, and gives marriage as the remedy for sexual temptation. The issue here is that you are obviously entralled at the idea of being with this girl and this group for what it does for your ego, and now allowing their views on things, not based on Scripture to influence you. That's why Paul warned us saying that bad company will corrupt good behavior. If they are not helping you grow in your faith, it doesn't matter how popular they are, they are not good company for you. I'm giving you my thoughts, but ultimately, you will decide what you will do in your life. Now, to answer your question: "How far is too far?" When your actions cause you to see the girl as an object instead of a person, you have gone too far.
  2. muzikstar1


    The truth is we are all immature in various areas, but maturity is relative also to your place in life. For example, a six year old who is in school, socially adaptable to his/her environment, potty trained, and learning to read and write on target is considered a mature six year old. However, when compared to an 18 y/o we say the six year old is immature and therefore cannot be responsible for certain things like the 18 y/o. I'm sorry that you feel slighted with you age, but you also have to consider the source of this judgement. Often people judge because of their own inconsistencies. If they can point out yours, it distracts others from seeing theirs. The mature thing to do is to not focus on what others are saying in regard to your maturity or lack thereof, but to simply live according to the principles you know to be right regardless of them.
  3. muzikstar1


    Are you asking a rhetorical question or are you seriously asking a question? For the real answer to your question. Maturity is defined as fully developed. In human psychology and sociology it is based on the concept of one being fully responsible for one's self and his/her choices. I agree that there are many adults who are immature in one respect or another, but the reason teens and children are always classified as immature is because ultimately there is a piont where the brain has completely developed unless some trauma caused what is called arrested development. A teen, especially by the time he/she is 16 or so may be fully developed physically, but still lacking in the areas of cognitive development, the parts of the brain that helps one see long-term outcomes to present decisions. Due to socialization, we are seeing it take longer and longer for humans in western cultures to develope into fully functioning adults. The reason you see us attach job, money, house, etc. as signs of maturity is because those are areas of responsibility. When a male owns the responsibility for his actions that created children and he takes responsibility for providing for them, not just financially, but also emotionally and socially, we say he is a man. If he lacks in any of those areas, we say he is a less mature man because he is not taking full responsibility for his actions. A teen by our culture which was a modern invention socially speaking, is immature because they are not held fully accountable for all of their actions. We have created a culture that excuses them from being completely responsible for their actions, which ultimately means they are not matured by the culture. So, can they take responsibility for all of their actions? History says, "Yes," but our social order of the day does not require or expect a teen to, therefore leaving them slower to mature in understanding the full ramifications of many of their actions. As adults fear aging more and more, they try to keep their offspring perpetually children, thus now we see this immaturity expanding into young adult culture. To admit that my son is now a man is to admit that I'm getting old. When a culture is obessed with youthfulness and fears aging, you get what we are seeing now. I recognize that with the philosophy of relativism that is the postmodern philosophy of choice, this is my opinion based on my work, research, and ultimately not necessarily the view of anyone of the younger generation. muzikstar1
  4. muzikstar1

    Disturbing Thoughts...

    You should not make a big deal out of this considering how many thoughts pop into our heads daily. It only becomes an issue if you entertain the thought.
  5. muzikstar1

    ok this is it

    Like many others, I'm available to talk anytime too. I will tell you that I'm a young adult pastor, so you will be talking with an older person when speaking with me, but I deal with guys everyday who have problems in these areas.
  6. muzikstar1

    ok this is it

    You need to get a plan in place. Right now, it seems that you are emotional about this, which means that when the emotions of shame and guilt wear off, you will be back at square one. You need to build a circle of accountability around you. Your parents are a good start where they know where you are struggling. The culture and the enemy will tell you to keep this from them, but they are your best defense, which is why he, your enemy, doesn't want you to include them in the process. The second person is a youth leader/pastor. You need to build a truth conference weekly with him (I suggest a male because of the subject matter.) The third is a truly Christian friend who is able to walk along side of you as you work through this. If you have these three relationships in place along with consistent Bible study and prayer, you will be able to succeed. The temptations won't go away, but you will have solid weapons to combat with when temptation comes.
  7. muzikstar1

    How to keep mentally pure in a relationship

    The Bible says that we are to bring every thought captive. Puritan dress is not the issue, nor tight clothing. Paul wrote about thought control because a girl can have on a moo-moo, and if you are in the right zone, your thoughts will still get the best of you. The fact is that you have to choose to think on something else. Philippians 4:8. That is how you remain pure. Thoughts come and go; it's what you do with the thoughts that create the problems. We like them, so we entertain them, i.e. build on them.
  8. muzikstar1

    I need somebody

    I'm a young adult singles' pastor and worship pastor. Feel free to contact me anytime.
  9. muzikstar1

    Respect and who deserves it.

    Respect is not to ever be based on merit, as a person whom you don't know has not developed any merit with you. You give respect because they are the created in the image of God. The Apostle Peter admonishes us to show respect to all.
  10. muzikstar1

    How do I deal with this?

    I agree that you can PM me as well anytime.
  11. muzikstar1

    Touch her, not you?

    I am one who believes that if your "personal" time does not hinder your duties to your wife, you are doing anything wrong. Where there is no law, there is no transgression. The Bible doesn't forbid "personal" time. That's my quick answer.
  12. muzikstar1

    How do I deal with this?

    I think you should not tell her. There is no redemptive value in sharing something like that with her. You were not with her at the time and bringing up past situations are not important to the future unless you engaged in sexual intercourse, and even then you only owe her an explanation so that there are no future surprises like a child. Other than that, she should already know that she is meeting you well after your adolescent years and therefore should assume that you have had some dating experiences. Because kissing when dating is also sexually stimulating, you would have to tell her every girl you kissed, petted, or anything. Those kinds of confessions are only important if they occur while you are in a committed relationship with a girl. But if they happened before you met or dated her, she doesn't need such a confession. You sinned against God and your body. God has forgiven you, you need to receive his forgiveness, which is forgiving yourself, and leave it at that. If anyone else should be forgiven and even repented to for this, it would be the young lady with whom you engaged the activity. That's it.
  13. muzikstar1

    Wet Dreams

    Nocturnal emissions are normal and depending on one's testosterone levels, they vary. You should not allow yourself to feel guilty for that. The main thing you should be concerned about is what you do have control over. Outside of what you have control of, accept as being human and move on. I hope you will not sweat it because you can become so focused on it that you actually go to bed with that on your mind and create an environment that helps cause it to happen more frequently.
  14. muzikstar1

    Classic Pentecostal Q&A

    That would be considered Oneness Pentecostal. I went to a Oneness Pentecostal college and worked in churches like that for 10 years. The most notorious of them is the United Pentecostal Church, although there are many others. Most are not aware outside the Oneness movement that there are many different views on Oneness Theology. Because a leading author of the denomination is what is called a "modalist," most outsiders believe that all Oneness churches believe in modalism, which is what you similarly describe. Like some Trinitarian groups focus on the unity of God while others focus on the three-ness of the persons, Oneness groups have some who focus on the "roles" of God, particularly modalists, while others focus on the unity, which is similar to Trinitarianism. Most Oneness people believe in the Trinity when they explain their beliefs, but consider the word extra-Biblical and therefore argue that it is not from the early Church era. They don't understand much about church history and it's Theological developments over time in a formal sense.
  15. muzikstar1

    Need a lot of help, advice...

    I am a young adult singles' pastor, and one of my biggest frustrations is getting young people to realize that there is no need to be in a hurry. Our dating culture creates two extremes: one of pressure to always be with someone, so you never really get time to know who you are to know who is best for you, or we do zero dating which creates little understanding of working with others and then when we finally choose to date, it is so intense that we rush through courtship and are either physically ready for marriage before we are financially or psychologically ready, or psychologically ready before we are financially ready. I encourage you to get involved in a young adult ministry group. It doesn't have to be at your church. It will just help you build some balance in your outlook on life while you are still single. I would try to get a girlfriend, because women were never meant or designed by God to be arm trophies as the world would try to make us think. Wives are given as a helpmate. Most guys don't even do well choosing a wife because they want an arm trophy. You have to ask yourself is this about me or about building relationships that are healthy and wholesome. I'm not trying to judge you or anything, but the obsession to have a girlfriend gives the impression that this is more about trying to compensate for something else which is co-dependency or it is about self-pride that comes from always having the trophy. I think that you should embrace this season as a time to build friendships with guys and girls as well as really focusing on your relationship with God. When you are balanced in all of that, the right kind of girl will come along and not just a girl.