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About SavedByTheSon

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    Member - Wise One
  • Birthday 01/17/1994

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  • Biography
    For those of you who are interested, here is a little bit about me:

    Though I wish I had a unique name, that's far from the truth. It's Ashley. Feel free to give me an awesome nickname. XD I'll be 22 in January, which may or may not mean I'm too old for this site, but...eh. *shrugs* Who cares? I'm not very active lately because of my dip in faith. I hope that I can reclaim it soon, honestly. Life is so much harder without it. I currently am employed as a disciplinary clerk for the Texas Department of Criminal Justice for a living. Yes, I am a mother already. I had my son Alek at the age of 18. A year later, I got married and now also have a little girl named Alice. I get judged for this among other things, but I choose to ignore it. I love my kiddos more than anything and don't regret them. And if you know anything about me, you'll know there is a lot more behind my username than meets the eye. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for my 'choices'. They've made me who I am and ultimately, stronger. My plans for now are to raise a happy family, and maybe even go to college in the near future. I've always wanted to go, it just got put off because of other things. My hobbies (when I have time, that is) are reading, writing and roleplaying. I even game a little bit (shocking, I know). If there is anything else you want to know, just send me a message!

    Nice to almost meet you!
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    Writing, Reading, Roleplaying, Gaming
  • Occupation
    Disciplinary Clerk
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  1. It's been quite a while since I poked my head around here. Over a year at least. And even then, my active days were years ago (as in plural). Any older faces still lingering around here as well?
  2. Been quite a while. Not even sure how cool or 'allowed' it is to be an oldie on here. Joined years ago and occasionally check back in from time to time. I'm 23 now. Yikes. :x

    1. DallasCaleb


      Hi! well welcome back! :) You are always welcomed! Blessings!


    2. Boogles


      i'm still here lol. 

    3. Will_Power


      I'm still around, I lurk more than I post

  3. She lost her son today. He was run over and he didn't make it. He was only one years old...
  4. Recently, I've again fallen out of faith. Things are starting to settle back down and I'd really like to find myself again. Find God again. A big part of me not sticking with church is that I just don't feel comfortable there. Most of the members have been going for a while and I'm always the outsider. But the biggest issue is that I feel judged. I can see it in their eyes when they look at me. I know what they are thinking. It's the same thing a lot of people think when they see me. A young mom of two kids. Automatically, assumptions are made and I become a stigma. It doesn't matter that I'm married now. It doesn't matter that my husband and I work and support our kids. We are young and we had a bad start. It seems like that's all anyone ever sees. It makes it so hard to work up the courage to go, even when I'd like to. I feel like a coward, but that's the truth. And those who are nice to me talk to me like they feel sorry for me. Almost like I am a charity case or beneath them. Is it so wrong to want to just be seen as another person? A mother with two kids, not just some young girl who got knocked up? :/ Maybe I'm just over thinking it/over emotional right now. Who knows? I really would like some advice on how not to let this stuff get to me though. I tend to care too much about how people see me. I know I shouldn't, but it's a hard habit to break. Help?
  5. Thank you very much! My husband picked it out.
  6. It's been a little while. Between being a mommy of 2 (yes, Alice is here!) and work I kind of got busy. But I did wanna update you guys to let you know we are all doing okay. Alice Marie was born February 23 at 8:46 am by c-section, weighing 8 pounds and 20 1/2 inches long. On top of Alice already being a month old, Alek will be 3 April 4th! Thanks for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers. <3
  7. Marriage is about commitment. That's one of the biggest problems these days in society. Too many people base their relationship/marriage on feelings, which can come and go. Go into the union with open eyes and a dedicated heart. Realize that you might not always feel 'in love' with your spouse and that that's okay. I see a lot of younger couples make irrational decisions and end up divorced simply because they don't feel 'butterflies' anymore. That's not to say you won't ever feel that way again, just that marriage isn't ALWAYS sunshine and rainbows. You have to learn to work together as a team and unite as one even when you may not feel like doing it. But I will tell you this: even though it's not the easiest thing in the world, it's one of the most wonderful. I wish you all the best! Congrats!
  8. Thank you! We have been very blessed. Appreciate all the well wishes and prayers.<3
  9. Just wanted to say thanks for those of you who said prayers for me a little while back. I recently got a call back about my interview and my direct hire date is January 5th. Salary position with excellent benefits and room to move up in the future. This opportunity will help my family out a lot, so I just wanted to say I appreciate all you guys thinking of us.
  10. I'm very stressed recently and have a lot on my plate. I've lost my faith too. Financially, things are pretty tight right now because we have so much going on at once. I have a job interview Thursday morning and I'm really nervous about it, because I'm 25 weeks pregnant. If you could, please say a prayer for me and my family. Thank you.
  11. Through struggles and time, I've fallen spiritually. I don't really think I could call myself Christian anymore (which is why I haven't exactly been around). I want to believe and want to have faith, but I feel very far from God. It's been months since I read my Bible. Sometimes I get it out, but feel at a loss as to where to start. The whole thing feel phony for some reason and I feel stupid when I try to pray because I don't even know how to talk to God anymore. He's foreign to me. I'm beyond ashamed to admit this, but I don't know what else to do. Where do I begin? How to I start studying scripture again? How do I genuinely open my heart again to faith? I'm lost. Thanks in advance.
  12. Thanks, you guys. I'm excited that I get to experience raising both a boy and girl. And I'm glad that she will have a big brother to look out for her too.
  13. I'm 18 weeks along with baby number two. We found out this morning that it's a little girl. I'm thrilled to have the best of both worlds (as I already have a son) and I'm happy that Alek will get the sister he's been asking for. We chose the name Alice Marie. (:
  14. Thank you both for taking the time to read and reply to this. I know addressing things like this aren't exactly desirable, or easy for others to talk about. But I take comfort in the fact that people, strangers even, care enough to do so. It makes pushing through the difficulties and striving to understand and deal with my past much easier. I appreciate you both tremendously. Thanks again.
  15. As I entered my teenage/adult years, I noticed a lot of sexual shame that I seem to always carry. Sexual activities and being aroused makes me feel dirty. Abusive situations turn me on too. Like the thought of being cheated on or raped. I started masturbating in sixth grade and was writing sexually graphic stories before that. I had a good bit of knowledge of sexual scenarios and vocabulary for a kid, but honestly I don't remember where I got it from or why the behavior started. When I was younger, I went through some things that I kept hidden for a very long time because I was so ashamed. I was probably around 4 years old when my stepbrother (who was a year or two older) started playing 'games' with me. He wanted to look at each others privates and once he stuck a straw inside of me. Turns out, he was being molested by a much older male cousin. My grandmother caught one of our 'games' and made me go tell my dad what I was doing in front of his friends outside. I remember crying hysterically and feeling so bad. Then my dad's friend's daughter who was much older (she was in junior high and I was like 5-6) also would want to play games with me where we would pretend to have sex. She'd want me to get ontop of her or vice versa, after we made our barbies have 'sex'. Her older sister caught us too, and again, I had to tell my dad what I had done. In second grade, a male friend of mine who was in 8th grade while I was in second wanted to 'have sex' with me in a hot tub with our clothes on. He managed to wrap his legs around me before my stepdad came outside and said it was time to come in. At that point, I started acting out sexual things with my best friend (who was a girl). I'm not sure if it was just curiosity or it came from my other experiences, as I was only in 2nd grade at the time. : A few of my other friends found out what I was doing and began to black mail me into doing things with them too, or else they'd tell my parents. A few years later, I also caught my stepdad watching me go to the bathroom. For such a long time, I've had all this inside me. Making me feel wrong, dirty and tainted. In my teens, I developed a porn addiction. Ever since, I've seen sex as dirty and it's affected my marriage as a result. I don't understand any of it, or if that's even what this is. I only started recently thinking about all of this. My whole life, I never even considered the possibility because I felt it was my fault since I participated. But surely my negative feelings about sex and sexuality come from SOMEWHERE....:/