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SavedByTheSon

Girl Forum Access (Ages 16+)
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Everything posted by SavedByTheSon

  1. I'm pretty sure the view of this depends on denomination, but I thought I'd ask anyway. I've heard both yes and no. Some claim the case with Onan was due more to his disobedience in not providing a child for his brother's wife. Some say it was the act itself and that contraception, other than monitoring the woman's cycle (rhythm method), is wrong. I'd like a clearer picture, please. Preferably with biblical backing. Thanks.
  2. It's been quite a while since I poked my head around here. Over a year at least. And even then, my active days were years ago (as in plural). Any older faces still lingering around here as well?
  3. Been quite a while. Not even sure how cool or 'allowed' it is to be an oldie on here. Joined years ago and occasionally check back in from time to time. I'm 23 now. Yikes. :x

    1. DallasCaleb

      DallasCaleb

      Hi! well welcome back! :) You are always welcomed! Blessings!

       

    2. Buoyancy

      Buoyancy

      i'm still here lol. 

  4. Hello, Lovelies. Today I’ve been thinking about true beauty and how much we try to cover it up. So I have a challenge for all you ladies. The challenge itself lasts five days, but you can continue it as long as you wish. Day 1: Most of us have had negative things said to us in our lifetime. I’d actually be surprised if one of you hasn’t. Often times, we are not even safe in our minds, because we are our worst critics. Today is about changing the way you feel and seeing yourself in a new light. First, I’d like you to get a piece of paper and write down every mean thing anyone has ever said about you and everything you dislike about yourself (physical or not). Leave nothing out. When you’re done, I want you to thoroughly dispose of that list. (Rip it up, burn it, etc.) It, along with every negative thing on it, is no longer a part of your life. It no longer exists. Gone. Next, I want you to get out another piece of paper and write one positive thing about yourself. Put the piece of paper somewhere where you will see it regularly. Make it a point to read it on a daily basis. In addition to this, look in the mirror and remind yourself you are beautiful as you are, even if you don’t feel like it. Genesis 1:31 Then God looked over all He had made, and He saw that it was very good! God created you just as you were meant to be. Remember that. He is pleased by you, so why shouldn’t you be? Day 2: Today, I want to challenge you not to wear make-up. Shocking, right? It shouldn’t be. Too many of us use make-up as something to hide behind. We need to start accepting the fact that we were made beautifully in God’s image. We have nothing to cover up. Instead, we are to clothe ourselves in love. Colossians 3:14 Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. Pull out your list and add yet another positive thing about yourself. Day 3: In addition to not wearing make-up today, do not style your hair (No straightening/curling/crimping). Go for a more natural look today. Instead of focusing on you outer beauty, reflect on your inner and spiritual beauty. What Christ-like qualities do you possess? What do you need to work on? Don’t forget to continue to add to your list. 1 Peter 3:3-4 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. Day 4: One known characteristic of Christians is their willingness to serve. This selflessness is a big part of our God given beauty. It’s about us caring for and loving others as Christ loved us. I’d like you to make today about serving others. It can be little things (such as cleaning the house) or it can be big (serving food at a homeless shelter). No matter what you do, make sure your focus today is solely around love and peace. Again, skip over applying make-up and hair styling. Use the time you would’ve been getting ready to do something for someone else. Strive to be Christlike. Mark 10:45 "For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Day 5: The last day of the challenge is here. Your tasks are very simple. First, I’d like you to pull your list back out and read over it. Remind yourself that each and every one of these things are true. Tell yourself that you are beautiful, because you are. Next, I’d like you to tell each and every one of your loved ones one positive thing about them that you love. Let’s work together to change how we view people. Instead of seeing faults, let’s celebrate what defines us. You may be relieved to know that you can begin wearing make-up and styling your hair again, if you wish. But I hope from this you’ve learned that you truly do not need it. Lastly, I’d like you to memorize this verse: Samuel 16:7 People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. Remember this when someone insults you, for God sees your true self and that is where your value is held. I hope you enjoyed this challenge and gathered much from it. I can’t wait to hear about your experiences, ladies! God Bless and stay beautiful! (:
  5. SavedByTheSon

    Please pray for my friend...

    She lost her son today. He was run over and he didn't make it. He was only one years old...
  6. Recently, I've again fallen out of faith. Things are starting to settle back down and I'd really like to find myself again. Find God again. A big part of me not sticking with church is that I just don't feel comfortable there. Most of the members have been going for a while and I'm always the outsider. But the biggest issue is that I feel judged. I can see it in their eyes when they look at me. I know what they are thinking. It's the same thing a lot of people think when they see me. A young mom of two kids. Automatically, assumptions are made and I become a stigma. It doesn't matter that I'm married now. It doesn't matter that my husband and I work and support our kids. We are young and we had a bad start. It seems like that's all anyone ever sees. It makes it so hard to work up the courage to go, even when I'd like to. I feel like a coward, but that's the truth. And those who are nice to me talk to me like they feel sorry for me. Almost like I am a charity case or beneath them. Is it so wrong to want to just be seen as another person? A mother with two kids, not just some young girl who got knocked up? :/ Maybe I'm just over thinking it/over emotional right now. Who knows? I really would like some advice on how not to let this stuff get to me though. I tend to care too much about how people see me. I know I shouldn't, but it's a hard habit to break. Help?
  7. SavedByTheSon

    Family Update!

    It's been a little while. Between being a mommy of 2 (yes, Alice is here!) and work I kind of got busy. But I did wanna update you guys to let you know we are all doing okay. Alice Marie was born February 23 at 8:46 am by c-section, weighing 8 pounds and 20 1/2 inches long. On top of Alice already being a month old, Alek will be 3 April 4th! Thanks for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers. <3
  8. SavedByTheSon

    Family Update!

    Thank you very much! My husband picked it out.
  9. SavedByTheSon

    Online dating: Yay or nay?

    What do you think of online dating? Weird? Awesome?
  10. SavedByTheSon

    To Those Who Are Married or Engaged

    Marriage is about commitment. That's one of the biggest problems these days in society. Too many people base their relationship/marriage on feelings, which can come and go. Go into the union with open eyes and a dedicated heart. Realize that you might not always feel 'in love' with your spouse and that that's okay. I see a lot of younger couples make irrational decisions and end up divorced simply because they don't feel 'butterflies' anymore. That's not to say you won't ever feel that way again, just that marriage isn't ALWAYS sunshine and rainbows. You have to learn to work together as a team and unite as one even when you may not feel like doing it. But I will tell you this: even though it's not the easiest thing in the world, it's one of the most wonderful. I wish you all the best! Congrats!
  11. SavedByTheSon

    Just an update.

    Just wanted to say thanks for those of you who said prayers for me a little while back. I recently got a call back about my interview and my direct hire date is January 5th. Salary position with excellent benefits and room to move up in the future. This opportunity will help my family out a lot, so I just wanted to say I appreciate all you guys thinking of us.
  12. SavedByTheSon

    Just an update.

    Thank you! We have been very blessed. Appreciate all the well wishes and prayers.<3
  13. SavedByTheSon

    Just a lot going on...

    I'm very stressed recently and have a lot on my plate. I've lost my faith too. Financially, things are pretty tight right now because we have so much going on at once. I have a job interview Thursday morning and I'm really nervous about it, because I'm 25 weeks pregnant. If you could, please say a prayer for me and my family. Thank you.
  14. Meh. Life...

    1. Bishop21234

      Bishop21234

      I know what you mean, but we gotta keep the Faith :)

  15. SavedByTheSon

    How to begin again?

    Through struggles and time, I've fallen spiritually. I don't really think I could call myself Christian anymore (which is why I haven't exactly been around). I want to believe and want to have faith, but I feel very far from God. It's been months since I read my Bible. Sometimes I get it out, but feel at a loss as to where to start. The whole thing feel phony for some reason and I feel stupid when I try to pray because I don't even know how to talk to God anymore. He's foreign to me. I'm beyond ashamed to admit this, but I don't know what else to do. Where do I begin? How to I start studying scripture again? How do I genuinely open my heart again to faith? I'm lost. Thanks in advance.
  16. I'm 18 weeks along with baby number two. We found out this morning that it's a little girl. I'm thrilled to have the best of both worlds (as I already have a son) and I'm happy that Alek will get the sister he's been asking for. We chose the name Alice Marie. (:
  17. SavedByTheSon

    We found out the gender today.

    Thanks, you guys. I'm excited that I get to experience raising both a boy and girl. And I'm glad that she will have a big brother to look out for her too.
  18. As I entered my teenage/adult years, I noticed a lot of sexual shame that I seem to always carry. Sexual activities and being aroused makes me feel dirty. Abusive situations turn me on too. Like the thought of being cheated on or raped. I started masturbating in sixth grade and was writing sexually graphic stories before that. I had a good bit of knowledge of sexual scenarios and vocabulary for a kid, but honestly I don't remember where I got it from or why the behavior started. When I was younger, I went through some things that I kept hidden for a very long time because I was so ashamed. I was probably around 4 years old when my stepbrother (who was a year or two older) started playing 'games' with me. He wanted to look at each others privates and once he stuck a straw inside of me. Turns out, he was being molested by a much older male cousin. My grandmother caught one of our 'games' and made me go tell my dad what I was doing in front of his friends outside. I remember crying hysterically and feeling so bad. Then my dad's friend's daughter who was much older (she was in junior high and I was like 5-6) also would want to play games with me where we would pretend to have sex. She'd want me to get ontop of her or vice versa, after we made our barbies have 'sex'. Her older sister caught us too, and again, I had to tell my dad what I had done. In second grade, a male friend of mine who was in 8th grade while I was in second wanted to 'have sex' with me in a hot tub with our clothes on. He managed to wrap his legs around me before my stepdad came outside and said it was time to come in. At that point, I started acting out sexual things with my best friend (who was a girl). I'm not sure if it was just curiosity or it came from my other experiences, as I was only in 2nd grade at the time. : A few of my other friends found out what I was doing and began to black mail me into doing things with them too, or else they'd tell my parents. A few years later, I also caught my stepdad watching me go to the bathroom. For such a long time, I've had all this inside me. Making me feel wrong, dirty and tainted. In my teens, I developed a porn addiction. Ever since, I've seen sex as dirty and it's affected my marriage as a result. I don't understand any of it, or if that's even what this is. I only started recently thinking about all of this. My whole life, I never even considered the possibility because I felt it was my fault since I participated. But surely my negative feelings about sex and sexuality come from SOMEWHERE....:/
  19. SavedByTheSon

    Does this sound like a form of sexual abuse? *Long and personal*

    Thank you both for taking the time to read and reply to this. I know addressing things like this aren't exactly desirable, or easy for others to talk about. But I take comfort in the fact that people, strangers even, care enough to do so. It makes pushing through the difficulties and striving to understand and deal with my past much easier. I appreciate you both tremendously. Thanks again.
  20. What would you do if your spouse was addicted to pornography and refused to get help? Would you stay in hopes they'd eventually change or would you get divorced? There are children in the equation as well. This has been ongoing for years. I don't want to deal with this for my entire life. It's miserable.
  21. SavedByTheSon

    What would you do?

    In my opinion, pornography is a form of adultery. If a man even looks at a woman with lust, he has already committed adultery in his heart. That is the root of the problem. It's not a struggle that we can even fight together if he refuses to do anything about it. That's where I stand. I think it's borderline self harm to knowingly stay with someone who refuses to be faithful. I've mentioned many times that he will not go to counseling. He just gets around my filters, when I use them. He is very used to lying to me to cover his tracks, so most of the time I'm not even sure if he's telling the truth about his actions. He's in denial about the whole thing. He says he doesn't need help from anyone except for me, but nothing I do helps him. It's emotionally damaging to remain with someone who at the end of the day, always does and always will resort back to infidelity. It'd be one thing if he was honestly seeking help. I would never abandon him if he needed my help. But I do not feel that's the case. To me, he's merely stringing me along with promises to change and then still indulging in adulterous behavior behind my back. I made a vow for better or for worse, but he also vowed to forsake all others. I have a serious history with depression and self harm. I feel this situation is going to pull me back. It's already affected me emotionally to the point of major depression, which is especially not good while I'm pregnant. It worries me. Marriage only works if both spouses are striving to lift one another up and work towards a common goal. This has greatly affected my self esteem, self worth and my faith. It's such a disheartening situation because I love him and I want to see him overcome his personal demons, but this is something that hurts me too. For years I have tried being there for him, but it's never ending. I feel as though I am losing myself. How long should a person live with their spouses infidelity, if they are not seeking help? Even if I stay somewhere else or he does, his actions are still going to cause me pain. And if I'm not around, he's more likely to act on his impulses. I'm just lost.
  22. SavedByTheSon

    What would you do?

    I just don't know when to say 'enough is enough'. I have children to think about and we are a family. But I don't think I can just 'accept' this behavior and live like this forever. It's depressing.
  23. SavedByTheSon

    Miserable.

    As you guys know, I'm pregnant with baby #2. I'm almost nine weeks and I'm miserable. Not only am I very sick, but my emotions are all over the place. I'm having a very tough time doing much of anything. Having a toddler isn't easy either. Please pray for me you guys. Some days I just feel so helpless.
  24. SavedByTheSon

    Well guys...

    Turns out Chris and I are expecting baby # 2.
  25. SavedByTheSon

    I feel so bad.

    Thank y'all so much for the kind words. I never knew things like that were possible. It's kinda hard for me to grasp, because I've never been in that situation. Buy I certainly didn't mean any harm by it. I really appreciate y'all understanding and being here for me. Y'all are the best.
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