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Girl Forum Access (UNDER AGE 16)
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  1. I've just recently joined these forums to seek answers and help. I'm 15 year old Catholic (sort of) female and I would need help from someone who will understand me. I've grown up in a good, Christian family since birth, which consists of just my mom and me. I've been going to Catholic school since I was only 5 years old and have been consistently going to Mass every Sunday and once a week at school. I would just ask my mother or Religious Ed. teacher for help, but I'm afraid if I tell them I'm losing faith, they'll judge me or get angry with me, so here I am, writing on a Christian forum. Basically, I don't think I believe in God anymore. But I want to. I want to be able to fully trust and pray to Him, but I can't do it without some sort of doubt. Since last year when I started my Confirmation training, I have put a lot of thought into my faith and where I stand and have found that I don't truly believe anymore, regardless of how often I go to Mass or how many religion classes I take. Now, don't get me wrong, I WANT to be able to believe and I want to be able to confide in God but I just can't bring myself to believe that Jesus performed all these impossible miracles and rose from the dead. Now, don't get me wrong, I WANT to believe, but my scientific and logical mind has gotten the better of me. I keep thinking "Well you can't rise from the dead. That's scientifically impossible!" or "Unless Jesus was some sort of magician, he couldn't have turned some fish and a loaf of bread into food for thousands," and I just don't want to think that way anymore. Over the past 2 years, I have found my Religion textbook as just a book of fables and stories. I have found the Church as a group of people with endless laws and restraints. AND I DON"T WANT TO THINK LIKE THIS. However, I will say this. I have had an extreme fear of flying on planes ever since I was little. So although I don't think I actively believe in God, I always find myself desperately saying every prayer I know in 2 different languages over and over again as the plane flies. This always seems to make me calm down, but the thing is, I don't want to be one of those people that only believes in God when they need Him or are in trouble. I don't want to be selfish enough to only pray when I want something. I need to find a way to restore my beliefs, but I don't know how. Reading the Bible hasn't helped me much. I keep thinking that miracles are scientifically impossible and that doesn't help at all. Please help me? I'm in a tough point in my life where I really wish I had the faith enough to pray and actually believe in who I'm praying to. Is there some way I can help myself to believe in God?