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Ok, so to fully know my situation, I've gotta tell you my life story. I grew up in a pretty stable, upper middle class household. When I was 7, however, my dad lost his job and we moved to a new house. 3 months after that, my parents started the process of divorce. However, it was not the divorce that ruined my life. Rather, it was school bullies that made my life awful. I was teased every day until i got to high school and got a fresh start, but back to the story. Before my parents divorced, my family didn't go to church much. my dad, now agnostic, grew up in a suppressive catholic household and my mom was presbyterian her whole life. After the divorce, I started going to church pretty regularly and started saying I was a christian. However at that time, I believed in the bible like i believed George Washington was our first president. I believed in it, sure; but I had no emotional connection. In the summer of 7th grade that all changed. I went to a summer camp that I had been going to for a long time. Only this time something in me was different. My heart was more open to God and one night, I felt God's presence for the first time. It was amazing and I was crying so much out of happiness that night. But after that encounter, nothing else felt the same. I would have these long dryspells where I never felt God. In that time I got into pornography and vanity. And from the bullying that had happened earlier in my life, I started to emotionally disconnect myself from others. I still had a normal social life and all on the outside; but on the inside, I was empty. Now I just don't know what to do. I feel that sin is what is blocking me but I'm not sure what. I still feel God's presence sometimes but it is not even a fraction of the strength as that encounter. I'm looking for a devotional of some sort or just any advice really that could help. Grace and Peace, Lukas
OK, so I was recently wondering this, well not really recently, I've wondered this for a long time, and have just been putting it off. =/ but I feel it's time to ask. OK So Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. (Heb 11:1) The way I've been using it is basically: If all else fails, Then, faith. Which is a good way to use it! I don't use it much, I use it when contemplating the trinity, because from the scriptures I know that: Jesus is God, God is spirit, and Spirit is Jesus. However, I have no idea how that works! XD but I can still take it as fact because of my faith. But I've been wondering about, the fact that when Jesus healed people: (Mark 5:34), (Matt 5:28), (Mark 10:52)... Etc, He said: "Your faith has healed you" It's also written: "So Jesus said to them, "Because of your unbelief; for assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you." (Mat 17:20) In this Jesus is using faith, as not only a last resort, but as a power or a means, of getting things done. This confuses me, I mean If God told me: 'Tomorrow, I'm going to move Pike's peek(a mountain)into your back yard" Then I would have faith that it would be done! and would start inviting friends over to see it! But it wouldn't be my faith that was moving it? I would simply have faith that God was moving it? How is Jesus saying: "It is your faith that has done this or that" When it was Jesus doing it, and you simply had faith? I've never understood this, and lol just took it on faith. XD But now I'm curious, has anyone ever wondered this? Do you know what the answer is? Any input is welcome! God bless!!!