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Hey everyone, I couldn't really decide where to put this post, so I'm jsut hoping this will help me to reach out to someone.... So i'm in need of some advice... I'm sorry for any spelling mistakes which lay ahead of you.... its 12:30am and my eyes are tired... So... its difficult to choose where to begin this story because today it has unfolded so quickly with months and months of quiet whisperings and words.... today it just over boiled! All that has been happened just exploded. And I'm so lost. and I am IN DESPERATE NEED of some guidance, reassuring words or something like that. Idek. So for the past few weeks I've been missing school. But only on particular days... when I have drama (its a subject you can select in my school). Keep in mind im in year 11 with a little more than a year to go till graduation.... Every morning id get up and think "(MOD EDIT) IT I DONT WANNA GO TO SCHOOL." EVERY SINGLE MORNING. i have and had no motivation to get up. Dreading every second i'd have to spend in that class room with those people. Then my parents got a 2 page long letter from my teacher. (Lets call her Ms K.) who proclaimed taht i always miss her class and i'm falling behind and that i need to get back to class because its unacceptable to be missing so much..... 1.) im the second best student in her class. 2.) i've literally not got any outstanding tests or assignments. I got in trouble with my parents. i TIRED explaining what was happening but even i couldn't put it into words (until today).... so i jsut took all the blame. took all the punishments and awaited my next lesson with ms k. And today was that day. I get to class.... teacher NO WHERE to be seen... its just me and all the other students. First thing they do is start asking me abuut " why i dont come to school?" "tell us." WHAT is your excuse this time?" Straight away im sitting there like 'why do these people even bother to comment like does my absence effect them in anyway? no!' but anyway.... i took it all in and i jsut sat down hoping this nightmare would end. it looked literally like one of those bully circles from the movies... it got worse. one of the girls who is not that particularly fond of me came in.... she pointed her finger at me and said the following: " I dont know what youre doing here? havent you heard? you've been kicked out of the group. all according to ms k so idk why youre still here?" (lets jsut say she didnt say this in the kindest of tones.) now here is the thing. up until then i didnt realize how nervous i was to be in the class. i didnt realize how i was feeling STRESSED to be in the presence of these people. i didnt realize how ever single fiber in my body was telling me to turn aroudn and run back in my bed. Up until that moment i didnt realize that these people CONSTANTLY BULLIED ME. And i broke down in tears. The funny thing is tehr eis one girl in the class who's name is holly, who ran after me. she is a nice friend but she never really stood up for me before. and before i could say anything, the very first words that came out of ehr mouth were... "when are you going to stop letting them bully you like that?" I legit thought i could cry of the relief. to be able to be told that i am being bullied, and IM NOT IMAGINING IT was jsut such a relief. I didnt realize what was happening, but they always made remarks at me. tehy ganged up on me the very first lesson of this year, telling everyone to stay away from me because i'd drag their mark down (......second best in the class.... okay then ) i remember sitting by myself while everyone was in a group, thinking..... hmmm is this the way its gonna be the whole year? If you've read this far I'm very thankful, we are almsot at the end i promise so we recapped with holly all the events of the past 3 terms. The problem with bullying is you cant exactly put your finger on what is the issue. because they arent punching me, or calling me names... no. its the way they talk to me, the way they treat me, the way they shut me down when i ahve an idea, the way they pressure me to do what they say or im left out. aLL these things got recapped in that high school bathroom where i stayed for a good 35 minutes... and then holly suggested we go to the vide principal. and we did. and i told her everything. i told her how i was treated. how i was "welcomed back" how i felt over the past few months. and i even told her how ms k actually encouraged this whole situation. she made remakrs on my absence in front of the class at a constant level... and the clas obviously taking after the teacher toook the same attitude towards the issue. liek i was offending them for being anxious to come to school.... So now ill be havinga meeting with the vice principal and ms k next week... and idk what to do. I feel so scared!!!!!!!!!!!!! like im scared she will take offence and mark me down. im scared she will hold a gurdge. im scared i was wrong and this girl and the group didnt bully me and im jsut imagining it. and I keep getting told God is with me. BUT IM JSUT SO LOST i feel like he is no where near. where is he? I feel like ive done the wrong thing and i shouldnt have said anything... what do i do? BTW a lot of detail has been left out so sorry if its confusing..... Please help. Thank you <3