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I was twelve when I first realized I was attracted to girls. I didn't want to say or do anything about it--what was there to say? Who could I tell? I thought the feeling would go away eventually; that it was just a phase, like everyone would usually say. It isn't, though. I'm seventeen now and I'm sure about my feelings more than ever. I like girls, and I don't think I've ever liked anyone of my opposite gender. Yes, I've had a few boyfriends every now and then.. and a girlfriend, twice. I'm currently not in a relationship with anyone at the moment but looking back then, my feelings towards the two genders were definitely different and I can't pinpoint what exactly it was in the relationship that made it different, but it just was. I saw something in girls that I've never seen in boys. My feelings felt more concrete, more real. I like girls and I don't like boys, not at all. I feel so much happier, so much lighter, so much more of myself whenever I'm with girls. It's never felt right with a boy. But I don't know if it's a good thing or not. My fear has been eating me up inside and I don't know if it's right. I don't know if it's okay, being Catholic and also being homosexual. I don't know if I'd be accepted the way I want to be accepted, I don't know if I'd be looked at the same way if I ever told anyone. This is who I am, this is who I've always been, and I don't think this is a phase. I don't think it has something to do with "finding the right person". I know I haven't found my true partner yet but I know I won't find it in a man. I like girls, but will I be damned? Will God look down at me, call me a fool? Will He talk to me in a condescending tone for being both a firm believer of His Word and a lover of people of my own gender? Is it wrong?
I've heard so much about spiritual battles throughout the time I've been learning about God and spirituality. Well, recently I've learned and seen for myself that it IS a war out there! It's a big battle! But nothing God can't handle. I've been on Youtube for quite some time and I've come to notice a user by the name of 'GEERUP'. I've seen a number of his videos and I've realized how this man is preaching on Youtube. He is directing at the atheists. The atheists hate him for it. He comes with the truth (the bible) and confronts their ideas about what they have to say. To tell you the truth, I've never seen someone so active on Youtube preaching. It makes me happy to see movement even on the internet. On the other hand, it saddens me how people just reject God and the truth. It opened my eyes to how so many people are being lied to by theories and human reasoning. It saddens me to see hardened hearts. I've decided to preach the gospel on Youtube as well. I don't make videos, but I answer questions made in the comment box. I ask God to help me and I do my best to answer with love. It's tough. It's an experience that tells you how people are really thinking about in the inside. I don't know about you, but where I live it seems that no one comes out with their beliefs as much as they do on the internet (or youtube to be more precise). 2He told them, "The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field. I've come to understand this passage while in the process. I've chuckled at the ignorance that people project a couple of times. I haven't felt offended thank God to any insults thank God. I've felt the negativity in the hate messages that people posted or sent via PM or comment. It's very time consuming. It's like, they have 3 questions; you answer all three but then they question those 3 answers and come up with 3 more questions. It's a bit overwhelming. But what I know is God speaks the truth and it's up to them to believe it or not. I love answering questions about God. (with the help of God I can answer). I've noticed there are two types of people who ask questions: 1. A person who asks a question to learn about God 2. A person who asks a question to question the answer. It's VERY noticeable. Putting aside the ignorance, I do see hope. Although some people are VERY confused by their own reasoning and are so dependent on what science says and what proof is shown, I see a person that is in need of God. Just like me; just like you. I see a person who just wants to hear the REAL TRUTH. The problem is they are confused. They don't have an idea on what is true and what is false. Why? Because they don't depend on what the bible says. Why don't they depend on it? Because they believe the bible is contradicting, they believe it doesn't make sense. They believe God is a killer. They believe it's all God's fault. They believe what the world tells them more than what God teaches them. It all comes from confusion and God is NOT the author of confusion. And that is what I've learned in this marathon. Please pray for everyone who is confused. Pray so the truth may be revealed to them in a special way that they will be convinced that God is Almighty. It's a war out there. http://www.youtube.com/comment_servlet?all_comments=1&v=ANtpsunRYIs