Jump to content

Search the Community

Showing results for tags 'dating'.

More search options

  • Search By Tags

    Type tags separated by commas.
  • Search By Author

Content Type


  • ChristianTeenForums.com
    • CTF Announcements
    • Introductions & Announcements
  • The Atrium
    • General Chit-Chat (Formerly "The Escape")
    • The News Desk
    • Polling Station
    • The Debate Room
  • The Christian Walk
    • Testimonies and Witnessing
    • Prayer Requests
    • God, Church & Faith
    • The Bible
    • Christian Apologetics
  • Questions, Answers, and Advice
    • Ask A Christian...
    • Biblical Guidance and Counseling
    • Family, Friends and Relationships
    • Fitness & Health
  • Life Stages
    • Middle School
    • High School
    • College
    • School, College & University
    • Women's Forum
    • Men's Forum
    • 16+ Topics
  • Hobbies and Interests
    • Art
    • Books, Poetry and Writing
    • Film, Television & Video
    • Gaming
    • Music Room
    • Sports and Other Hobbies
    • Technology
  • Forum Help and Suggestions
    • Forum Help Center
    • Suggestion Box

Find results in...

Find results that contain...

Date Created

  • Start


Last Updated

  • Start


Filter by number of...


  • Start





Website URL









Found 15 results

  1. I haven't posted here in a REALLY long time. I don't even go by 'Sir Will' on anything else anymore if I can help it. I was still struggling to find myself a partner when I was younger, but at that point I didn't really need someone in order to feel happy, I just wanted someone that was fun and I could really connect with, I suppose. From 2017 to 2019, I was in the first real relationship I've ever had. I put a lot of effort into it. I spent time with her, I took her places, I bought food she liked, we had dinners and lunches, saw movies, stayed home and played video games, and generally my life was really really nice. I felt complete, satisfied, doubtless, and happy. So much so, I felt myself having more time and closeness with my faith, since I saw the fruits of my labour. As I understand it, God wants men to experience good healthy stable relationships with women, and I felt proud that I had that, and I would do anything to do it. I kept making efforts to grow the relationship, whilst not being too clingy or forcing too much closeness. I always made her opinion important, and we made great efforts to communicate our problems. We had met online after she was running from an abusive sexual partner who was warping her idea about love and sex. She was religious at first also, like myself. As time went on, eventually I caught her cheating on me. It was something minor I think, like a flirt over the internet. I thought it made sense to give her another chance, it was Christian to forgive her and it was being a good man to let go of my pain for her sake. I felt honourable giving her another chance, especially since flirting is very basic cheating. Then, later on, she confessed to kissing someone and there was more flirting. It wasn't necessarily the same person, and this greatly upset me since I had made a great effort to explain the problems with cheating to her early on. At this stage, I went out of my way to help her, such as trying to cut down on people in her life that could be bad influences, and trying to promote for her to make a good friend group of nice men and women who weren't going to influence her to cheat. That plan failed, evidently. More and more, she continued to cheat, and she always tended to confess to it. I can't know if she cheated more outside of it, but her breaking down into tears or acting standoffish after cheating was a good sign that she had really done it. If she was simply uninterested in me, she had the full freedom to leave me, but I reckon it wasn't that simple. I kept forgiving her, and working with her to solve the solution, despite the pain and disconnect I felt from being cheated on so many times. I do not like being cheated on, and imagining my dream partner with someone else goes against what I believe and what makes me feel happy, secure, and satisfied. It also genuinely hurts, obviously. Eventually, I thought we had fixed it, since she had a really long running streak of not cheating, something like half a year. Unfortunately, there was a small distance between us for a short time as we struggled with things, and she confessed to cheating again. Not only that, but she had confessed to cheating during that streak of faithfulness. I really broke down, since all of my rebuilt faith and hope really tore apart at the end when I felt it was all for not. I told her that things had to change or I might have to leave her for my own sake. At the end of the day, I couldn't bring myself to leave her, and she elected to leave me on her own. From here, I began to doubt the validity of our relationship at all. Did she ever really love me? Was our communication *real*? Did we ever REALLY connect, or was she just using me? I felt used, betrayed, and broken. I'm not one to consider suicide, for a variety of reasons, but this would be one of the times in my life where I nearly did consider it for real. My faith in God was wavering too, as I felt that even though I acted through faith and love and forgiveness, it never paid off in the end, it never had any progress, and it blew up in my face. I know trials and tribulations are apart of every Christian's life, but God is supposed to give us a way out when times are tough, he's supposed to be the golden gate at the end. The land of the valley of death isn't supposed to end with tears and crying because you couldn't see God at the end. I'm still a Christian, I still have great reason for my faith, and I am making good efforts to repair my life. Though, my self-esteem, confidence with women, personal state, and my hope and inspiration for the future are all in tatters. I can't help but feel that having a partner to really connect with helps bring out the best in me, and I love to help bring out the best in them. Sharing life is something I really enjoy, and my hobbies tend to be maximised by having a partner. With Covid-19 and my somewhat anti-social personality with strangers, I can't help but consider it impossible to find someone faithful who's also a Christian at my age, who will appreciate me for my looks, my qualities, my interests, and my values. I've cut all communication off with my ex, since it is really draining to even begin to talk to her again. I feel bad because I want to be there to help her and support her still, even though she's not 'mine' and I'm not 'hers' anymore. but... Where do I go from here? Do I just trek it on my own and spend my youth alone? I want to spend the prime of my youth with a like-minded partner, not alone meandering around. I don't want to get child-giving age and not having established any of my dreams. Is there some online services I'm missing for Christians roughly my age? (19, give or take a few years). Even if I had those services, I like to play video games, and write, and spend time online. Am I really going to find a religious girl who likes those things in this day and age? Is it not worth it? I'm really struggling to know where to go or what to do, and I feel like I'm wasting time and spinning my wheels. If it helps, I'm in college right now, trying to figure out where I'm going with it. Thank you for any reply.
  2. Benny Boy

    Dating out of high school

    A few years ago parents told me when I'm in college I can start dating. I'm graduating high school this Sunday (may 28th,2017) and when I brought up to my parents that I was going to date a Christian girl here in my town after graduation, they got all defensive and said that when I actually get to college I can start dating. I'm going to college in 3 months, but I'm enrolled as a student there currently. I'm 18, out of high school, and enrolled in a college... and my parents say I can't date her because I'm not actually at the college. Technically I'm an adult, and have the responsibilities of an adult, so I should at least have the privileges of one, right? Why do I have to wait another 3 months to date? None of my responsibilities will change from now till then.
  3. Benny Boy

    Dating dilemma

    A few years ago parents told me when I'm in college I can start dating. I'm graduating high school this Sunday (may 28th,2017) and when I brought up to my parents that I was going to date a Christian girl here in my town after graduation, they got all defensive and said that when I actually get to college I can start dating. I'm going to college in 3 months, but I'm enrolled as a student there currently. I'm 18, out of high school, and enrolled in a college... and my parents say I can't date her because I'm not actually at the college. Technically I'm an adult, and have the responsibilities of an adult, so I should at least have the privileges of one, right? Why do I have to wait another 3 months to date? Little to nothing will change from now till then.
  4. So, hello! I personally am feeling fairly content without a female partner(being straight), in my life so far, which is nothing significant for my age... But, I can't help but occasionally feel the need for that kind of relationship, someone closer than a friend to talk to and commune with. I'm not a very outgoing and social person, though, so that makes that difficult. I personally have felt recently I could just go without for a while, and hope after a couple years some lass comes along... I also am not sure I am entirely capable of /having/ a partner of that sort, I am capable of keeping good friendships, so why wouldn't I be able to have a good relationship with a female partner?(Setting aside the fact that a female partner will want things you wouldn't give or say to your friends) I'm simply curious on what people on this forum would say and respond to my situation with. In the past, I've just been told by family and such to just be patient and wait until a time comes along that you can find someone, but that's not a very satisfying answer. I don't go to a school outside, since I am online schooled, and I don't go to a youth group very often, so that limits my chances there... Any suggestions?
  5. Hi, I'm 17 and a guy, I don't know many christian girls and would like to make some friends which I hope in the long term to lead to dating as I feel ready to search for the "right one". I am wondering if it would be a good approach to message girls on Instagram which are christian ( from their bios) that I have never met before. I am not sure if this is appropriate or if those whom I message will be so warm to reply, especially as this appears as ' sliding into the DMs' , which doesn't have the most christian intentions (most of the time) in mind. This could be an entirely different topic but sometimes I am scared to approach a christian girl in real life due to worrying about what other people think of me and my intentions, I know I shouldn't care about what others think but a large part of my nature is caring about what others think. Should I just man up and speak to people in real life and/or message these girls online? Any ideas or thoughts welcomed.
  6. Hi everyone! My name is Mr. MJ. I'm a youth development coordinator with my company Launch Man Group! I have a heart for teens and want to be sure you have the support you need to navigate tougher life issues: in this case, love. Post your on-topic questions and I'll do my best to answer them from a biblical perspective and/or point you in the right direction. I don't pretend to have all the answers, but I know who does: Jesus Christ! We can all live better, happier, more productive lives when we follow Him, especially as it relates to our topic. I've already met a few awesome teens here and I hope they'll post here, and you too! --Mr. MJ
  7. I need some advice on this somewhat tricky subject. A bit of background first. In early 2009, I had seen the PIXAR movie known as WALL-E and joined a forum dedicated to the movie (among other things later on) in the middle of that year. That's where I had my first relationship with Catherine in mid-2010, an agnostic (later turned Christian due to my testimony sometime in early 2011), which lasted until the middle of 2013 (minus the small breakup between July and December of 2010). At the same time, I met other friends from around the world, three of them I ended up meeting in real life (Catherine in 2011 (twice), Madison in 2013 (once), and Kirsten in 2014 (five times so far)). This girl that I recently met, Kirsten, is the primary subject of this topic. Ever since I first laid eyes on her, I started developing some feelings for her. We had known each other for five years beforehand only in an online environment, and it was in mid-August of this year that she was right there, face to face with me in my own backyard. After spending quite some time with her, I started to develop a crush on her. I got to know her better as we talked and found out that she's an agnostic. She just doesn't know what happened, but is likely to make a choice if she see's concrete proof. When we met late last month in October, I told her that I have a crush on her, and she described the feeling as neutral. The past relationships have been a disaster one way or another (how, I have no clue) and she seems to wants to spare me from that. But I seem to think that it goes further then that. It feels like unrequited love, where I love her and she doesn't love me, even though I have not asked her weather or not she does. The advice I'm asking for in this thread is about dating a non-believer, that is, if she does indeed want to have a relationship. From my understanding, the Bible doesn't say anything about dating, due to dating being a more recent phenomenon that has only existed within the past century or so. I know about the whole equally unyoked doctrine, but I dated Catherine for several months as she was a non-believer before she was converted, so why can't the same thing happen with Kirsten? I guess that's just my logic. But anyways, I've been praying about her quite often these past three months. I just want it to work out somehow.
  8. (I'm new, so hi everyone!) So my best friend and I have strong feelings for each other. My dad doesn't approve of us dating (because he's atheist), so my best friend agreed with me to not do anything relationship-wise until a couple years from now, and then decide what to do. We're 16, he's temporarily moving to a diff. state, and I don't want to risk our friendship. So we already would've had some complications. I really like him, but I wish he could at least believe in God. He goes through a lot and has a lot of negative feelings, so I wonder if that's why he doesn't believe. He never tries to convince me otherwise though, he respects my beliefs and some of his family is Christian as well. But I don't want to push him into converting or anything. Does anyone have any advice? I never met anyone in this situation before, and I don't have any Christian friends so I don't really know where to go for help...
  9. ProudToBeJesusFreak

    Christians Dating Non-Believers

    Hello everyone! What does everyone think about Christians dating non-believers? Or someone of a different religion? I personally don't think it matters, because God loves everyone on this world equally, regardless of if we all believe in the same religion or not My boyfriend is an atheist, but honestly, I don't mind it He has come to Church multiple times, just to see what it is like, and has made it clear that it isn't for him I think that if two people are deeply in love, then they find a way to make it work The believer shouldn't ram the thought of Christ down the non-believers throat, but tell them that this is what they believe in If the non-believer wants to understand it, fine If they don't... then accept they don't believe in Christ However, the non- believer shouldn't constantly pressurise the believer for believing in the LORD God, and respect that they need time to pray, and come to terms that they always start eating a couple of seconds after them because they love to thank the FATHER before they eat, haha I know this debate is going to get a couple of responses because of the topic, so lets hear them! -ProudToBeJesusFreak (^-^)
  10. Lily James


    So theres this boy who goes to my church and I've had a big crush on and we used to be really great friends but now he doesn't talk to me much a lot of people say he has a crush on me but he's NEVER shy ever and he's a freshman this year and I'm only in 7th grade and we have so so much in common that I'm positive we would be a great couple but I'm so shy I can't even get his phone number.What should I do to make sure he views me as a potential girlfriend and not just his moms friends daughter who I used to be friends with???
  11. Sooo my former campus minster posted this on facebook recently and I found myself thinking "hmmm... I wonder what some of the CTF community would think of this" sooo here it is. http://www.thomasumstattd.com/2014/08/courtship-fundamentally-flawed/ What are your thoughts on the article? On dating vs. courtship? On the "traditional dating" idea presented. Personally, I love the "Traditional Dating" idea. Seems like fun, and a good way to get a feel for what you want/need in a partner without the huge amount of emotional investment. I like the old version of the terms "dating" and "going steady". I've recently found myself saying that I'm a fan of casual relationships but I'm realizing that what is presented in this article is more of my ideal. Regular "dates" without being boyfriend and girlfriend time to get to know a few different people and have someone to compare them too before "going steady." So yea. Just throwing that out there.
  12. Recently, one of my guy friends told me that he loved me, but he is fourteen, and I am sixteen. I knew immediately when the words came out of his mouth that he hadn't meant it as in friendly love because of the way he hesitated before he said it. It was a very awkward situation in which I ended up ignoring the comment, and simply just continued our conversation from where we had left off. I am so confused inside now, and I really have no idea what to do. I feel really bad about not even acknowledging the courage it probably took for him to tell me that. I feel as if I might actually have a slight crush on him too, but also feel that that's somehow wrong and perverse to have a crush on a boy two years younger than I. I'm hanging out with him this Saturday, along with some other friends of mine, but now I'm afraid that I may have hurt his feelings and, in turn, hurt our friendship. I need some advice on how to look toward this situation with a Christ-like attitude, and if I did have a small crush on him, would it even be appropriate to say? Would it even be appropriate at all, or should I keep my distance from him long enough for those feelings to go away?
  13. So, I met this girl around a year ago, and we started liking each other as soon as we met. We hang out a lot, text all the time, and I always give her a hug goodbye after church. She is very strong in her religion, as am I. Her parents set the age limit at 16 before she can date. I'm 13, about to turn 14 and she's around 8 months younger than me. We make sure to balance each other out to make sure we are not distracting each other from our walks with God. Where would you say the boundaries lie in terms of this situation? Does it more just depend on the circumstances. If anyone else is going through something likewise I would appreciate hearing their opinion as well! Thanks so much!
  14. Thanks for the reply. Admins or staff or whoever can delete this post now
  15. Cadence62

    Verses about Purity

    Hi, Ineed to have a conversation with my boyfriend about purity and explain to him that saving myself for my future husband is about more than just virginity, so does anyone have any verses I can share with him? Also, I know this is in a section specifically about the Bible, but if anyone has any advice about my situation, it would be VERY welcome. What happened is this: First of all, I made a very bad decision this past March, egged on by my dorm-mates at my boarding school to date a guy who wasn't a Christian. Part of me knew I shouldn't, but I liked the attention I was getting, and I was really flattered by how muh this guy liked me, so I went through with it, and agreed to date him, justifying it to myself with the idea of missionary dating, or at least that Romans 8:28 (all things work for the good of those who love Him) meant that it was okay. In our relationship, he has always been a total Gentleman, holding doors, carrying my hings, always insisting to pay for everything... (I didn't let him pay for Prom, though, because part of me has always known that this was a mistake to date a non-Christian, and the expense of that would make me far more indebted to him than is okay. Tuesday night was my school's Prom, and while I had strict rules for myself about relationship-y displays of affection (no kissing until I was in love, and nothing beyond making out until marriage), my boundaries in the area of dancing were not nearly so well thouht-out. I knew that grinding (for those of you don't know, this is a clothed sexual act that passes for dancing at most high-school dances) was completely out of the question, but I had thought slow-dancing would be okay, because "its just hugging amd moving about the dance floor." However, I failed to realize just how extended that hug would be. We started out with a few inches between us, but as the night went on, he kept pulling me closer, and my adapted version of the rule "save room for Jesus" (never adapt a rule; bad things always happen from even a few inches of compromise) which was "save room for a cardboard cut-out of Jesus" (which I had changed because typical summer-camp "save room for Jesus" dancing looked ridiculous) was slowly dissipated as well, leaving me dancing pressed up against this guy I liked, but wasn't sure if I should be doing this with. We didn't dance the entire time we were there, but we danced a lot, and I was becoming more and more uncomfortable with it, and was really releived when it came time to change and go to the parent-sponsored after-prom party at Dave & Busters. However, after after-prom, I went to a co-ed (but sex & alcohol free) sleepover at my friend's house, and we all went in the pool. I wore an atheletic one-peice, fo modesty's sake, and he was wearing swim-trunks and a t-shirt into the pool, and it was really fun at first, because enen though the water was cold, we all decided to swim in one direction (it was a circular pool) and create a whirl pool. This was fun, until a bunch of people left, and then it was just my boyfriend, me, and one other friend. Then, he left too, and the last person who had been outside but not swimming left, saying, "We'll let you two have your couple time". I was kind of scared, but I didn't do anything, besause I had just been making fun of my friend as a wimp for getting out of the pool. After everyone had left, he wanted to "dance" again in the whirlpool. However, the whirlpool kept dragging my face to the surface of the pool, so I was able to keep saying tha it wasn't working. Then, he found a way that "worked", and while we were travelling in circles around the pool, I was thinking about how I was finally outof my own control, except that the one who was in control wasn't God's match for me, that He had sonething much better planned, and that I shouldn't be doing that, and that all of his (my boyfriend's) sweetness had one ultimate goal, and I got really freaked out, so I said that I was cold and we went inside. Afterwards, I became even more uncomfortable when I realized that even though my bathing suit was modest in appearance, it was still skin-tight, and so his arm was still around my waist in skin-tight clothing. Finally, after having to think about it all day yesterday, I decided to sleep at 6pm (after 31 hours awake) and achieve the distance and clear-headedness a good night's sleep can provide. This morning, I woke up, and after thinking about it, I realized the thing to do. I'm pretty sure he'll be at my school's graduation (we're juniors), so I will talk to him then about purity and how important it is to me, and leave it in God's hand what happens next. I think he will probably either be a jerk and break up with me for wanting to wait for marriage, in which case, I won't have to feel bad about breaking his heart, be really nice, and suggest that we just be friends for a while and see if we fall in love, or maybe leave it up to me, in which case, I will say we can keep dating if we take away the physical component and instead work on getting to know each other better. Any thoughts? A note to the moderators: If you do move this, please don't put it in a Women's only section, because I would like advice on this topic from the male perspective as well. A note to Madame, who I assume is ready to make a snarky comment on this post about how silly my purity standards are: I know you porbably can't respect my ideas about purity, but hopefully you can respect this: I felt uncomfortable, and therefore, it is not okay, no matter what you think about purity and Christians dating non-beleivers.