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Love_of_Grace posted a topic in Family, Friends and RelationshipsMy brother is very devoted to this woman he's going to marry. Due to some abuse at her place (not physical...emotional and mental abuse where her mother would call her a 'lazy, fat cow' even though she works hard and is too skinny for her own good), she lives with my brother in the basement suite that my brother has been renovating. They are of age, and they started having safe sex after they were engaged to each other. They are both wonderful Christians. She was in the nursery to help take care of the kids (responsible and a joy to be around), and both of them were in the Worship group for Sunday service. My parents have been accepting of it, and they are Baptist Christians. We all went to the same church. But, I recently found out that the church banned them from joining in the worship team, babysitting, or anything like that! They basically turned their backs on them, and now they're left looking for a new church. The two love each other a LOT, and they are devoted to each other. I guarantee you, knowing my brother, that the relationship isn't going to end until one of them DIES. I used to go to the church, and I had some nice friends there with kids as well (I have a toddler son), but now I'm wondering if we should just look for a new church. I'm very hurt by what the church did, and frankly, the pastor has hurt me in the past when I was going through an identity crisis (I have borderline, and my gender at one point was in question in my mind so strongly, I finally called myself bigender, but not bisexual). He wanted me to change so I was perfectly a girl, even though that's NEVER been the case with me my whole life because of my mental disorder. I just need someone to help me out with this. I'm torn, because I want to stay where there were some good friends, but at the same time, I want to stay loyal to my family and do what I feel is RIGHT. Is it possible to still have ties with those families outside the church without being awkward? Or, will it be too strange for me to go to another church while being on my brother's side when I want to still be friends? I'm a young mother (23 this year, married for three years) with a wonderful Christian husband, and he says that we should look for another church. HE feels that they're being too close-minded. We can't even find anywhere in the Bible that distinctly says not to live together before marriage. (Remember that the mother actually goes to that church too, and they probably wouldn't believe my brother if he told them what she says to his fiancee). This is more of a rant to get the feeling out, but I am curious to hear what young people now-a-days are thinking. After all, there's different ways of being married all over the world. Heck, you can be common-law and not technically married in this country, and that's legal and legit. But, what do the rest of you think?