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Found 17 results

  1. A Great Friend Listens Ah, yes. It’s the old “listen before you speak” spiel. Except without the speaking. When you’re there to listen, genuinely engage. Don’t listen half-heartedly while you silently conjure up a clever response. Listening takes a lot of humbleness and humility. It is the act of placing others above ourselves; giving them the safe space they need to tell the truth without judgment. You don’t need to talk in order to change their hearts. People who simply need to confide in you only need the comfort of your silent empathy (unless otherwise stated, of course). A Great Friend Tells the Truth When it’s a fitting time to reply, let your friends know the truth of God’s heart. Yep—not your own two cents. That’s not telling the truth in love. True truth is God’s truth. If you don’t know what to say, simply refer to the Word and get your response from there. Please keep in mind that this does not mean referencing Bible verses left and right at someone who is struggling or hurting. Sometimes, nothing could be more unfeeling. You can speak the Word of God naturally, without citing the book, chapter, and verse, and I promise you that it would still remain the powerful Word of God. A Great Friend Protects Protecting your friend doesn’t always mean physically. One of the most conventional ways to protect your friend is from slander. If your friend is a nonbeliever and your group of Christian friends speak of him or her as though he or she is a lost cause, it is right for you to gently defend. A great friend always hopes. Another common way to protect your friend is to protect him or her from your own thoughts. This is tied to the next point. A Great Friend Always Assumes the Best Andy Stanley explains in his book, The New Rules for Love, Sex, and Dating, that we are often left with ‘gaps’ in our time apart from others. For example, if your friend promised to show up to church with you but ditches at the last minute, he or she leaves a ‘gap’ for you to fill. You can choose to either fill this gap with good thoughts or malicious thoughts. Either way, these are your thoughts to own. The Godly way, of course, is to assume good thoughts about your friend. Give him or her the benefit of the doubt – always – and you will finally attain peace. “Always?” you ask, “Even if I know deep down that person is just lazy?” Yes, even so. And this is why: It will do your friendship no good if you feed yourself malicious thoughts about the other person. Even if you know he or she cannot righteously justify his or her actions, assume that your friend’s heart is simply not ready. This is often the truth of the matter. A Great Friend Allows Mistakes Like I’ve mentioned in my previous article, our friends and family are not extensions of ourselves. They have their own desires and reservations. If God Himself doesn’t want to infringe on our boundaries by giving us free will, we should model after Him and do the same for others. After you’ve told your friends the truth in love, let them exercise their free will. If you interfere with the process by taking on the consequences for them, they shall never learn. Allowing for mistakes is the only way to love others. Don’t worry, God will surely supply you with enough patience (and reminders) to give room for error. A Great Friend Forgives How many bitter people out there win people to God with their bitterness? Zip. Nada. None. And that’s exactly why we don’t want to be that kind of friend. When my group of middle schoolers were asked, “What makes a great friend?” their responses varied from “Someone who is supportive,” to “A person who listens.” Not one of them would ever in their right minds say, “Someone who doesn’t forgive.” Yet, most of us fit into that category. Our traumatic memories keep us entangled in the past sins of others. However, we are called to be kind, compassionate, and forgive as God had forgiven us. No matter the offense, you must forgive because that is the only way to change people’s hearts. After all, it was His kindness that led us to repentance. A Great Friend is Gentle One of the greatest attributes of the wise is gentleness. Gentleness includes being thoughtful with your speech and being sensitive with your actions. A great friend doesn’t use force to make something happen. Gentleness is not weakness; never forget that. My sister once taught me that gentleness is power under control. To be gentle is to know how to control yourself for the benefit of others. A Great Friend Does Not Envy Finally, this is the point that blows us all out of the water. Great friends are not envious of others. A great friend seeks to give, not to take. Envy takes the life out of every celebration. That means that you should look for opportunities to celebrate your friends’ victories. Be competitive at it! The same way you’d want your loved ones to celebrate your victory, be even more eager to celebrate theirs! That’s what separates an insecure friend from a Godly friend. A Godly friend is already 110% secure in Christ, so he or she is brimming with joy at the success of others. Here is an important note to remember as you attempt to be a great friend to others: It is okay to mess up sometimes. The most important thing is to keep referring back to the truth and try again. Loving others the Godly way takes practice. If you haven’t made the connection yet, I’ve taken these principles straight out of 1 Corinthians 13. To be a great friend, you’ve got to learn to love like God loves. By investing time, energy, and self-restraint in loving others the specific way in which Christ loves you, you will win souls for the kingdom of God. Written by GirlandTheWord
  2. Shayna

    Looking for friends

    Hey! Im in highschool and need some Christian friends!
  3. Anima Christi

    Seeking Advice

    I need some advice on how to deal with a friend of mine. He's a good, God fearing man who loves God and His Church with all his being. I love this man like I would my own brother. But thing is he won't stop texting me. It's incredibly annoying and it drives me insane! It's not like it's important life or death stuff either. Nine times out of ten it's just to say hi. I could set my watch by this guy's messages because it's every morning at 10AM sharp when we're on breaks. I know when my phone vibrates, it's probably him. He's a good friend, but he's so needy sometimes. I feel like I'm taking care of him when he's five years older than myself. I absolutely hate texting. It feels so impersonal and I think it's impossible to grow closer through texting. If I want to talk to someone, I call them or better yet, just walk to their dorm and speak to them in person. If I answer this guy's text, I'll be stuck in a conversation where if I don't respond, he'll send me another message every couple minutes until I answer. If I have errands to run or work that needs to be done then I will not answer. I've stopped responding because I just simply don't have the time to talk to anyone when I'm at school. I tried talking to him about this, but he went right back to his old habits. I feel suffocated. It's like I can't get away. I was on retreat one day and he texted me asking how my retreat was going. Even when I tried to dedicate an entire day of my summer break to silence and contemplation, there was no escape. Part of me can't wait until I officially enter the order after college and get rid of my phone. He texts me every single day, multiple times a day. Once in the morning, afternoon and night. I can't keep doing this. I love this guy like a brother. But it seems like he always wants to talk. We're both in school, and our dorms are 5 minutes away from each other. How he has all this time to text me is beyond me. I'm really lost here, guys. I have no clue what to do here. Sorry to rant and vent, but I really have no idea what to do. I've talked to him but it didn't seem to help. Thanks!
  4. Shayna

    Looking for friends

    Hey! Im in highschool and need some Christian friends!
  5. So, I am 18 years old now and technically fall under one of these two, however I greatly struggle to keep friends. I have a lot of actual, online friendships but it seems when it comes to personal, face-to-face socialization I can't keep a friend and I have no idea why. I make phone calls. I make plans. We usually hang out once or twice before they completely give out on effort. It is frustrating, as I read all these articles saying these generations value friendship the most yet I always seem to be the option when someone is bored. I do have more conservative views but I am open-minded to other life styles. Now, I come to my final struggle, is it THEM, or is it ME? I take friendship seriously. I try to call, or if there is an email or other way I can connect with them I try to use those too. I agree I do not have a facebook, or a twitter, or an instagram, and I cannot text message. I usually try my ways at least once a week. It is kind of based on how they usually take things. I've had some who prefer once a week, others multiple times. Either way, I make effort. When they suggest plans I do research and try to find something we'd both enjoy doing, or I just let them drag me along to something I've never done. I listen to their interests, even if they are not my own. Overall, I don't think I'm that bad. I always start the conversation with a how are you and what have you been doing? sort of thing. My first friend I had when I was about 12-13, we were friends for 2 years. She wasn't a great influence but she was a friend. She replaced me technically, with someone she had met 2 months ago. It was rough. My next actual friendship didn't end up becoming an actual friendship. It ended up her little sister, who is 10, wanted to be my friend and not her, and 10 was a bit young for my teenage self and my mom didn't prefer it. that is another funny thing, little kids LOVVEEEE me, teens hate me, haha. In youth group I won't include my now ex boyfriend because that ending was actually my fault, I lost my temper in our breakup which ruined all chances of a friendship to continue even after. There was another girl, who still is very perky and generous. She does tons of charity and I admire it. However, she would never call or keep in touch. All her plans were spontaneous, which I had told her was hard for me to do in my family situation. She got upset with me for desiring her to let me know she still wanted me as a friend and said we needed a "Break" after not speaking properly for 2 months, I basically said we were going on a permanent "Break." Most people I tried to keep base with, ended up not keeping base. 60% of people who wanted to kind of chat said it would be easier if I could text. I know I don't go to school with these people so I don't see them in a hallway every day but they could try... I get along with elderly people usually. Little old ladies. Or I get along with people 10 and under. Which isn't really right either. Online, I have friends, but offline, I can only seem to befriend children and the elderly. I just seriously want to know who the problem is. Because I see another friend drifting from touch and I am wondering now is it just THIS GENERATION OF PEOPLE CANNOT INTERACT WITHOUT A POWER CORD or have I actually done something wrong? do I expect too much? What should I do to compromise, besides try and get something I really can't afford at this time in my life? Does it get better in college? Someone give me some hope here...
  6. scarlettdelta2386

    Loner Blues

    I'm having a hard time finding real friends, and I am becoming lovesick because I have nobody to be my friend or boyfriend Help
  7. I have 4 friends that suffer from Social Anxiety (3 are pretty severe) and 5 that suffer from depression. What are some things that I can do to help? Also what are some things that I should avoid saying, doing, or bringing up?
  8. So I met this girl from a theater group I was in earlier this year, and at first we were talking a lot and really hit it off, we hung out twice alone and it was pretty nice. Anyway, she keeps saying she 'wants' to hang out again, and I make suggestions and never get replies. She rarely emails me at all anymore, and she does have my number so she's not calling me either. And when she does email me...she keeps telling me how she went out with someone else...or had been hanging out with this person like every single day lately...and I have made 104676543 suggestions that we can do something, or maybe I can visit sometime, with more ignored statements Is it time to accept she doesn't like me?
  9. Hey there y'all. Just kidding, not from the South. Love Southern people though! My name is Brianna. I am a sophomore in high school, and I plan to go to college and major in humanities. I love working with and helping people. I am a very out going and confident person. I live in the Mid-West. I have a large family. I love the outdoors. Mud volleyball, tennis, snowmobiling, tubing, hunting, fishing. . . etc. You may ask me anything you'd like. Kind of just looking for some friends. I hope you have a lovely day! P.S. - Give someone a compliment today, I dare you!
  10. teddiebean01

    pen pals :)

    hey guys! ever since i was little i've wanted a writing friend..... but whenever i send my friends letters they never reply. so does anyone want to be my pen pal? just wondering :) - Graci
  11. Hello there! :') I have recently started to get close to God again, and its a wonderful feeling I would be lost without my church, youth group, and choir! The only problem is, I don't have anyone to talk to about the Bible, God, or anything to do with Christianity near my own age :') Everyone is either older or younger than me My intermediate circle of people that I see everyday, are either non-believers or aren't really religious :') My boyfriend is a non-believer How can I make friends with more Christians though? Thank-you for reading! - ProudToBeJesusFreak (^-^)
  12. I'm in search of some really cool christian guy friends to keep my mind off of girls. I just think that my urges of wanting a down-to-earth, funny, godly and beautiful girl should be the least of my worries. I've never had a sister so I have trouble having friends that are girls. I have yet to find a trustworthy godly girl. I also do not have many spiritual, bible reading friends and its hard to communicate with them about God and his works in my life. So, I'm kinda confused on what I want, haha.
  13. Hello everyone, I am preparing for publishing a biography of Lawrence of Arabia. There are many books on his life, but few of them are trustworthy. Some writers represented him as a superhuman hero, others made an anti-hero of him, but who was he in reality? He was a human - a loving and very unhappy human. My object was to show his complex personality and importance as a military leader. If you are interested in him, write me! I shall be happy to talk to you about this wonderful man! Moreover, if you need understanding and support, don't hesitate to write me. Best wishes, Olga, a gay writer and historian from Russia
  14. hi everybody, i'm new here, and to be honest, i don't even know how it work ! haha i'm here for make friends and for learn to speak english well bc i from france and...♥ i hope it'll help me. I'm a proud christian, and i've never eat someone so if you want to talk, i'm here don't be scared haha ily all. bYe
  15. First of all, can anyone let me know if they have ever attended or are attending this year FCA Leadership Camp at NorthBay in North East Maryland? It eould be really nice to hear about it from someone who has been or know someone else who is going, even if I don't know them irl, just from ctf. Also, this is my first time going somewhere where I know no one, and I'm nervous. I went to the same Christian camp (Camp Wright on Maryland's Kent Island) for 7 years, but now I'm too old, and so I'm switching camps, so I'm nervous about not knowing anyone, or even a lot about the camp. Even my first year at Camp Wright, I knew 3 people: 2 school friends in another cabin, and my sister was in my cabin. I don't know anyone at my new camp, so I'm really nervous about making friends. What do I do if everyone there already knows each other? Any advice?
  16. Going about the day I have no trouble with talking to the various people I see on a daily basis. I'm there and I see how they act in situations and I can learn about what kind of person they are based on visual and verbal cues i receive from them. However when you have an online friend who isn't comfortable with webcams and doesn't always talk on voice you miss those cues and when a word is typed it's hard to judge the emotion that may be behind it. My relationship with one of those friends has been a struggle cause if there is something wrong going on I miss it and I make stupid judgements on what could be going which when you do that there mostly wrong. It's been hard cause I want to be there for him cause I really care and that's prolly another problem. He says I care way too much and I don't know how that works honestly. It's hard for me to back away without totally ripping myself apart from the person and that just backfires. I'm not sure how to manage this honestly. I know I should give him some space but I just miss a time where I had quite a few close friends to talk to but now due to certain life situation there all busy. I'm not sure how to cope with this honestly. It's been going on for a while and I'm wondering if I need anxiety medication or something...
  17. sierra-smith

    Need Friends!!

    Hello everyone, The name is Sierra. I have been on here for nearly a year and I have realized I have no friends!! It didn't really bother me at first, but recently my friends (or ex-friends) have taken to ignoring me, I think becaused I embarassed them by talking about God in front of some boy who sitting with us while we were having lunch. Anyway, any want to be friends?? I would really like to get to know some christians around my age so we can talk about how awesome God is!! God Bless, Sierra:D
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