umm I'm new to this forum so I'm not sure how this works. I fear losing my connection to God more that ever, God kinda saved me from myself last year and blessed me with the motivation to live and achieve my goals. I fear I can feel myself slipping away into the clutches of hate, self loathing and self harm again. I'm seeking answers well help I don't know, well I need motivation to work for my grades, to live and the only place I can get that is from God. I need help understanding and working on myself spiritually... I guess I haven't been able to set foot in a church in years due to traumatic experiences i endured when i was younger whereby I was isolated and bullied to the point that i decided not to go. Does this hinder growth can I strengthen my bond with God? How? How do i move past this? I guess I'm waffling but I fear that this is embarrassing that I'll be on my own again, and well lose all motivation to do anything.