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luv4godremains

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I can't say much, but the things in the subtitle are things I'ev REALLY been struggling with again, I made an attempt at suicide on tues, and really struggled not to tonight, my arms are covered in cuts, deep so that I have 2 bandage 'em 2 stop 'em from keep opening, any wider and I'd be in hospital right now, and it all boils down to depression dats mostly due to my past. I just REALLY need prayer right now!

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I just finished praying for you, for your comfort, for your safety, for your health and protection. I also prayed that God would send someone to your aid.

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Ohhh, hun.... *big hug*

I'm sorrry...just know we all looove you SO much...& Jesus loves you wayyy more than we ever could...he died for you.... please don't hurt yourself...you will be hurting Jesus more than you.... i'm praying.

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I'm praying for you! I know what it is to struggle with a past, and to struggle with cutting over guilt. Remember that Jesus died so that we can be forgivin, the past is past and it can't be changed, what can be changed is our actions now. Let God have the burden of your past, and live your future for Him.

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thanks guys, not doing any better today, but am relieved to see my sisters friends leaving, no more things goin on here that really shouldn't be, at least untill next time they come! I had a bad day and just feel soo, just, numb really, I'm too tired and depressed to think of doing anything stupid, which I guess is a good thing really, but I hate feeling this way!

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thanks guys, not doing any better today, but am relieved to see my sisters friends leaving, no more things goin on here that really shouldn't be, at least untill next time they come! I had a bad day and just feel soo, just, numb really, I'm too tired and depressed to think of doing anything stupid, which I guess is a good thing really, but I hate feeling this way!

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im definately going to pray for u b/c i know wat ur going through i had a problem cutting and im glad that i had everyones prayers and support.Just remember that u have all of ur friends and family who care about u soo much and they don't want to see u hurt urself.

~Krissy~

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Well honey...Jesus is always there to turn to....I know sometimes it feel like he just a "nice thought" but he is there...waiting for you...he wants to help...I don't really know all about all this stuff...but I DO KNOW he loves to sooo much.... i'm praying.

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cheers guys, I'm not so much feelin better today as feeling relieved, my mum came home yesterday and it's nice to be rid of people trying things on wiv me, and to be wiv sumone responsible, I haven't cut since yesterday and plan to keep it that way, or at least for as long as I can. right now I just wanna curl up into a ilttle ball and forget the world, just be gone into my own little world, like I used to be able to do, unfortunately when you're young, your maginations are much more vivid than they are now! thanks you soo much guys, I know I'll get better in time, and the fear and pain will go, and I will hang on to Jesus untill the day I die, whether it's soon, or a lot later, but somehow, I will survive untill Jesus wants to take me into his arms!

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i am praying honey.... every day you can make it is another day they are rejoicing in Heaven..... i struggled also..... you can make it through.... just keep tight to Jesus...... love ya!!!

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here are two sets of lyrics I've written, the first one is to do with the past that's on my mind, the second how I feel, what I feel like I should be doing!

Now I see your face,

It's everywhere I go,

Once again I am afraid,

So afraid to be alone.

In my Dreams last night,

I felt your perverted touch,

Tonight will not sleep,

In fear of the push of your crotch.

A millions years have past,

I don't know what I did wrong,

I'm watching the play,

all over again,

A message sent through a song.

--------------------------------------

Grabbing the knife,

Taking the step,

This is it,

my one last breath.

Time to kill the pain,

I've felt so long,

One final drag,

My life is gone.

Makes no difference,

Life is death,

I've known all this,

From my first breath.

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you are not alone. that is the most important thing to remember. all these people and more are praying for you! just stay strong and have faith that god will get you through this. this will, in the end, only make you so much stronger, and you will be able to bring others from their darkness to see the light you have found.

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Ooh...I am praying for you. Remember that God has something for you. HE DOES! Nomatter what happens He has a plan for your future, He loves you soo much and He wants you to fulfill your destiny. I will keep praying for you.

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That's realy sad. I will pray for you! I hope things work out good for you. And I owuld just like to say that the above post from GodzSongs is very right.

He loves you and has a plan for you that is more than you could imagin! No matter what happens in life He wil ALWAYS be ther for you!

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thanks guys, had a rubbish day, my PE teacher called me pathetic for not wanting to touch the mud, then everyone in my form started accusin me of havin OCD, and as true as it is, I don't want them spreadin it around the school, I don't even want them knowin cos it's none of their business, it's just amde me feel soo worthless agen! *sigh* guess I should just get my coursework done and see if I can pass this peice!

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I'm sure this person did not mean to upset me, I'm not going to post the name, but it hurts that people would send rude emails to me suggesting I am lying about how I feel, Iw ouldn't ever dare, my friend commited suicide 2 eyars ago and it's no joke, I came here toa sk for help, and I ask that people would respect me for turning to prayer for help, it has taken me a long time to get to here! Thankyou everyone who has been praying for me, I hope tomorrow will be better than today, I don't think I could handle my "friends" calling me pathetic again, and to even do it to my face, they don't know what I struggle through! My head of year looked at me like I was an idiot 2day when I told her, like only someone extra sensitive would care, but I don't want other people's opinions to have a hold on me anymore, I just wish they would respect me for who I am! sorry to vent and babble, just needed to I guess, I still feel really... weak... and worthless I guess from today... I'm gonna read the bible for a bit then go to bed, see if I can sleep and get my strength up for tomorrow!

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thats really rotten that someone would do that, but they just don't understand what thats like. All in all though, you are actually sounding better. just keep getting stonger, and before you know it, your life will be noticibly easier.

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today was alright I guess, untill my "best friend" decided she would be completely immature, we got into this huge fight and it ended up in her being like a 6 year old and drawing her "idea" of what I look like, she drew a rli thin person who looked like a guy (I'm not udnerweight anymore so it hurts even more that I'm normal weight and she'd still be like that) and particular detail on the scars on the arms, she showed it around the whole of the three rows by us so now my whole set know I cut, and then, in media, people started writing really horrible things in my diary whilst I was at an appt with a teacher about what to do next year, it's sooo degrading, and it hurts that they think to be normal you have to have sex, or that they think your lying when they ask you if you have and u say ur still a virgin, why can't they accept me for who I am? I'm soo scared, I don't wanna go to school on monday, face these people who have sexually harassed me in the past, and occassionally still do, who have picked me apart till I see everything in me as being bad, and still have to cope with the normal harsh realities of life! HELP I don't know what to do, I'm sooo lost and confused, I can't see past tomorrow right now!

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ACK...people can be so horrible at times!

If your "friend" was trying to make fun of you for being too thin when your not, its probably just because she's jealous or something. I know, self image is one of the hardest things to deal with. I struggle with it all the time, I was picked on so much for being "fat" (even though everyone that actually matters tells me im not, and i've lots tons of weight, I still believe it most of the time). I know its so incredibly diffuclt, but you need to realize, that it doesn't really matter what they say, its what you think, and what God thinks. This world has its priorities(sp?) so mixed up. Outward appearnce is like the least important things, God see's our hearts.

If people are razzing you about cutting, then they are just...horrible. I also know what its like to deal with it. But...theres really nothing you can do to make people stop being horrible, just try and make their critisim effect you in a possitive way, show them your stronger, and that they don't have power over you.

Don't ever, EVER let people pressure you about sex. You do NOT need to have sex to be "normal" I don't even want to get started on the emotional trama pre-marital sex causes (I know from experience). Again this world has priorities SO mixed up. Sex should be for marriage, and only marriage, outside of it its just using the other person, and will cause guilt, insecurity, and problems (again i know from experience). I think its great if your still a virgin and don't let anyone make you believe diferently!

"These things i have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation, but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." John 16:33 <one of my favorite verses.

I'm still praying for you hon, and if you ever want to talk feel free to PM or IM me!

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i know it seems hard now, but after you graduate, you'll realize that you'll never have to see those people agian, and that it never even really mattered what happened there.

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thanks guys,

the person who was makin me feel soo bad about everythnig mainly (supposedly my best mate) won't admit she was wrong, but we're basically ignorin it and if she does it again, I'm just gonna leave it as a friendship unable to work really! The fact is, if she can't accept me for who I am, then it's her problem!

I miss first lesson tomorrow, I have an appt, thankfully! and on thurs I do too, which will stop anyone calling me pathetic for havin a problem and not being able to touch things that are dirty etc...

The problem I have, is I'm petrified to go in 2moro, cos the first lesson I'll be in is media studies, and I am really scared it's gonna be like friday was, I don't want to have to worry about that happening again, or be worrying about everyone watching me or talking about me!

I hate school, I can't wait to get out of there, but I may need to stay for 2 more years, I just don't know anymore, everything in this world is sooo screwed up!

people wonder why I'm soo screwed up, all they have to do to know, is get to know me, then they'll see my past probably quite easily, or maybe stop to think about the fact that I'm human and the things they say are hurtful, but they're selfish and don't care!

:crying:

I'm just soo scared, I see no point in this place, I just wanna curl up into a ball and forget I'm alive! unfortunately this world won't let me!

I will hopefully be able to sleep after tomorrow (the appt is about my sleeping and they may mention my anxiety)

please pray that it all goes well and they do what's best for me, that God would guide the doctor and my therapist to know how to help me, and to not put me on anti-depressants, I'm just soo scared, lost and confused atm, I just need things to go well for once, and to forget the things that have happenned to me! sorry for the length of my posts guys, guess I'm kinda venting on here as well!

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Lord i pray from the deepest of my hearts this prayer

you are the one and only god who is almighty you cause the mountains to bow down and the seas to roar at the power of your name.

I pray lord that u will bless her in all of her thoughts and guide her throught the hard times. Lord i know how hard it is not tryin to cut or commit suicide and i pray that you will help her to realise this and to fight it off.

Lord i also pray that you will forgive her sins and that whatever she does is the right decision that pleases you. I also pray that her worries can be left behind as you said we can rest with you on our side.

Amen

Quick prayer. It could help if everytime you feel bad or down that you pray to him it helped me get over it.

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