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I have this overwhelming urge to learn more about the kind of love only God can give... it's insatiable. It's become one of my favorite topics, and I'm becoming slightly obsessed. O_o I want to know about it on a deeper level, and I want nothing more than to be able to understand it and put it into practice. I realize that it's going to be a life-long search even if it is possible to fully comprehend it. But wow... I don't even know exactly how to express the way God has changed me just over the past couple of days. He's taken over...and that's a bad thing. ^_^ I'm happier now than ever before...but I'm also realizing things about myself and the world that breaks my heart. I'm starting to realize just how badly we need a savior, and a father, and a guide. >.<

On another note, it's probably not a good idea to listen to Family Force 5 with headphones in a quiet study room. I have this urge to get my boogy on. <.< >.>

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That dream... was the most horrible dream I think I have ever had. Ever. It hit me really hard... I woke up shaking, and crying, and it was bothering me all the way into this morning. Oh my gosh... I don't think I could handle that kind of instant separation or grief right now. Or ever. >.<

Don't die on me, kay? ;-;

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Guest FirefromtheEast

I feel quite silly being angry about this, but I am.

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Remind me never again to go on a vacation where someone else is paying for me. I'm so freaking stressed right now that it's not funny. That History research paper isn't making me happy either. O.e

On the other hand, I'm freaking excited to see you. :3

I think our friendship was doomed to failure. And it's not because I didn't want it to last.

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I think...that I'm finally beginning to scratch the surface of just how great God's love is...and I'm already in awe. I mean, we hear our whole lives that "God loves you" but do we really ever put enough emphasis on it? Do we ever give it enough credit? I don't think so. It's so much deeper and intricate than I ever thought possible. Something so perfect that I can't wrap my mind around it, but I can't stop thinking about it either. Whenever I try to explain to people what He's revealing to me, I get excited and run out of words. I don't even know how to express it right now... It's just...so freakin' awesome. My faith hasn't been this strong...like ever. And just over the past few days, I've changed tremendously. Definitely for the better.

I'm started to see things that I never saw before. I'm starting to understand more...and all because I asked God to give me just an ounce of wisdom. Reading about wisdom in Proverbs got me curious, and I genuinely wanted to see what it was talking about. Boy, I didn't know what I was getting into. XD Even just this minuscule amount that I was given is enough to completely blow me away to the awesomeness that is God Himself. I mean...wow. I don't even know.

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I was too shy to go over and say, "Hi"... You were too shy to come over and say, "Hi"... But, whatever. I mean, it's been a long time since we've seen each other. You changed a lot, I changed a lot, and it would have been so cool if we had a conversation (even a small one). Oh well! At least I hung out for a while with your sisters! Hopefully next time we'll both work up the courage and talk to each other. And I hope that your sisters remember to tell you that I said you have mad skills. (:

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I know I asked you and you said no but I'll still go to coffee anytime you ever want!

But if you think I'm weird that's okay, too. I am.

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I thought this initial roughness was over with already... I thought by this point it would just be hard endurance. Guess not...this totally sucks. I'm having a horrible moment right now. And the only thing that could make it better is the very thing that's causing this. >.< Something has to happen. Seriously. My chances of doing something drastic are increasing by the day.

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Wow...I...am in awe right now. O_O DUDE. Like...I wasn't expecting that. XD It's pretty amazing that I could think I'd be doing one thing, and God is all like, "ACTUALLY, it's for that person." And I'm like, "O.o Alrighty then! Wasn't expecting that."

But still...I've started to notice that even when I put the minimal effort into improving my relationship with Christ, amazing things happen. It makes me wanna find out what happens if I just give up everything else. >:3

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