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I'm seriously on the verge of losing it...and I can't let you know..

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Guest TheNewBreed

I don't trust myself. I have no reason to. I've already proven to myself that I'll mess this up. I'll end up hurting her, I know it. And the second I do I'm giving my soul back to him and giving up. I have nothing left to live for then and I accept my depression willingly

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I'm so stressed and these mouth ulcers aren't helping, Lord. I need to do something right for once and the pressure is getting unbearable. I'm petrified and just so scared.

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Guest TheNewBreed

Forgive me now, for I have sold my soul for gold

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I am forever grateful for your work, and always supporting you. We need people like you. Keep fighting.

***

You just inspired me to do something about this. Thank you.

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Scratch that. I'm furious, confused, desperate, anguished...I honestly am at the end of my tether. I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. And the worst part is that no one understands. No one gets it. Please. I need help.

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I should be happy that SAT is finally over, right? But I'm too exhausted to care. Not being able to sleep is catching up on me. I want to sleep and I'm so tired, but I can't. What's the matter with me?

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I probably shouldn't be thinking about that, but I am.

***

Part of me cares, a lot. The other part couldn't give a flying squirrel monkey. The latter is currently winning.

***

Grow up, I beg of you. Your life is nowhere near as hard as you make it out to be; in fact, I'm certain you make things more difficult for yourself. Straighten out, stop making up rubbish, and start living like you want to succeed. Because at the moment, you sure as heck aren't doing that.

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Tell me what I'm supposed to do

With all these left over feelings of you.

'Cause I don't know.

And tell me how I'm supposed to feel

When all these nightmares become real.

'Cause I don't know.

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maybe i'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel...only time will tell

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There you go making my heart beat again,

Heart beat again

And no one can make it beat like YOU do, Father.

It's funny how in the exact moment you give up your control, the chaos stops. Completely the opposite of what you expected to happen. Jehovah is funny that way, isn't he?

~~

♫ my hearts a stereo, it beats for you, so listen close. Hear my thoughts in every note.♫

AND YOU. ...you blow me away. All the time. Especially this morning. I never thought I'd hear you say that, I thought I'd tell you first. But, you beat me to it.

So... now what? Does this make us something more? Are we the same? Why does my heart beat like this when i go to check my inbox?

Come what may, I pray that God leads us in the right direction and if that direction is to each other, I will have no complaints.

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I really do have some of the best parents in the world <3

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I actually found your "sermon" amusing. If you want to know why more people don't go to your church, perhaps you should ask for anonymous feedback forms or contact people in private. Nobody is going to give you an honest answer when you try to turn a church service into an open forum. If you asked me privately I'd give you a toned-down version of what I think.

***

I'd really like a private discussion with you but I don't want to waste your time.

***

Ugh, I suppose you're going to be calling me a lot in the next few weeks.

****

I almost wish I wasn't so friendly to you after what you did... I'm glad we will probably never see each other again.

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Thought I'd cry for you forever, but I couldn't, so I didn't

People's children die and they don't even cry forever..

thought i'd see your face in my mind for all time.

but i don't even remember what your ears looked like

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I feel like people only like me when I'm drunk or depressed. They're the only times when I'm hilarious and oddly affectionate.

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When I go in to collect my results I am going to go in humming the Bond theme while sneaking around every wall to avoid being noticed. I will then collect the result as if they were a secret file and proceed to jump out of the window and into the neighbouring skip... Well maybe not the last bit, but still.

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When I go in to collect my results I am going to go in humming the Bond theme while sneaking around every wall to avoid being noticed. I will then collect the result as if they were a secret file and proceed to jump out of the window and into the neighbouring skip... Well maybe not the last bit, but still.

I couldn't help but think of this.

~~~~

Oh no, you can't handle being imperfect, what a tragedy.

Grow up.

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I'm still a year away from graduation, but I'm already super nostalgic. Looking forward to possibly moving to Idaho but.... nights like last night are the reason I'm gonna miss this place.

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