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Think of a man who is a devout Christian who works nonstop his entire life to provide not only for close family, but for distant family as well.

Well this man had what appeared to be minor health complications, he went to the doctor, and was hospitalized... before we know it, he was dying. It turns out he had everything under the sun wrong with his health. And his only fault in my opinion ever was that he didn't go to the doctor for regular checkups. So in 5 years, his body shut down.

I stayed back from this funeral, of my dad's. I basically rejected God. It has been just under a year since he died, and I am just now finding myself.

I feel a member named ___________ helped get me back to God. It wasn't so much what he said though. Because in the grand theme of things, we only talked a little. More like, I saw God working through this (what appears to be devout) man. And I really want to fill my life with good fruits to keep from falling away.

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Think of a man who is a devout Christian who works nonstop his entire life to provide not only for close family, but for distant family as well.

Well this man had what appeared to be minor health complications, he went to the doctor, and was hospitalized... before we know it, he was dying. It turns out he had everything under the sun wrong with his health. And his only fault in my opinion ever was that he didn't go to the doctor for regular checkups. So in 5 years, his body shut down.

I stayed back from this funeral, of my dad's. I basically rejected God. It has been just under a year since he died, and I am just now finding myself.

I feel a member named ___________ helped get me back to God. It wasn't so much what he said though. Because in the grand theme of things, we only talked a little. More like, I saw God working through this (what appears to be devout) man. And I really want to fill my life with good fruits to keep from falling away.

Sometimes, that's just what we need :)

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This is unrelated to this website:

Sometimes it's one against 5. I was the one. To choose the 5 due to numbers is a really lazy and disrespectful thing to do. Though, I've only ever met one person that would choose the one in a one vs. 5 battle.

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I guess it's nice when a group of adults act like a bunch of children, and have lots of fun at the same time. :) 

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Don't get me wrong, I love knowing some of you adult members here on the forums. But I have learned that being friends with adults while being a teenager in the real world is a stupid idea. A very stupid idea that I regret. But I have learned, and I will move on. That's all I can do.

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Eh... I'll give it a try.

 

The httyd forum I was on? I was a jerk. In a website full of jerks, but a lot less sensitive than I am.

Oftentimes I'd be in an argument where it was just me for my side, and ten other people bashing on me. I'd defend myself, and use sarcasm as a weapon. Um...

 

I called a bunch of people cowards, and idiots, because they were uncreative with their insults. (C'mon people, if you're going to insult me, do it creatively instead of copy-pasting everything.)

 

I called this one person a jerk for being particularly nasty with another person, so I defended that another-person, and called the nasty-one a jerk while I was at it too. (Not really ashamed; she deserved it, and called me names and denied she even said that after it)

 

Oh, one last one. Some adult called me a censored name, and I responded by saying; "wow. I feel so sorry for your kids because they have a mom like you." (What was ironic, was that after that, she stayed on the forum for WEEKS. And when I called people cowards/idiots, I was threatened with instantaneous ban... ?!) I am rather ashamed of this one.  

 

I left with a BANG. I'm probably banned from that forum, (which the so-called "admins" didn't do anything with the forum, it's piled under spam, and spam, and fights.)

But I'm quite happy with leaving, I just can't really forgive them really easily. 

 

Before I found this forum, (and kingdom gamer) at night I'd rage at every, single person on that old forum, whereas now, I'm slowly starting to forgive them.

 

So yeah. I was not a nice person.

 

(I feel simultaneously happy, because I finally got it out, ashamed and terrified of what people may think now. XP)

Edited by paraskeve

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I think I've finally crossed that line. August, September, October were whirlwinds to be sure but I can see November coming with it's own sort of tempest. I'm overwhelmed. My work to-do list is 20 or more items and my school list is double that. I feel like a coiled wire, like there's electricity running through my veins and making my head fuzzy. I need to make a plan, I need to organize myself but there's a couple of items I just can't fully get my head around so it's difficult to know exactly where I need to start. I need to do something. I need to move. I need to refocus my body and mind but whenever I go to do something besides work it seems to follow me around. I know I can do this, but it's daunting. 

 

And then the ones that are actually directed at people: 

 

I wish you were at that school more than 45 minutes a week. I get that you think I've got things all under control, and I do to an extent, but omgoodness it worries me. I'm afraid I'm going to drop the ball on something. 

 

I'm pretty sure you hate me. Not like, genuinely hate me, but I think I'm the kind of person who gets on your nerves. 

 

This is two weeks late, but DANG IT you. are. an. ex! You are not allowed to flirt with me at all. Nope. Nada. Nil. Ugh. I shouldn't have let you talk me into this whole lets be "friends" thing. Your not a friend, your an ex. And I'm sorry that it's that way but it is. And I should have called you on it two weeks ago but I didn't and it's been bothering me ever since. Not a word from you since then so maybe you don't even realize but still, you ended it, not me. You knew where I was at after things ended. You don't get to play games with me. Either mean it or please... please just leave me alone. 

 

My self-advocacy skills suck. :-P

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So much to say about this. So you need to set up a donations page to fund your life since neither of you can work... You can't work at all because you have to take your boyfriend to the hospital? 

 

Are you going to disclose these "earnings" to Centrelink?

 

Incidentally do you still have your considerable collection of video games and Amiibos? I'm sure you could get quite a bit of money for them. 

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Ughhh... I dunno what to do.... And I want to talk to people about it, but at the same time I don't want to. You're super nice and cute, but like.... I dunno man. I'm new to all this. Ughh.... I wish I had more time to just process things and that my work wasn't so stressful and took so much of my time. Also then we could hang out more. That would help me to know. 

Edited by Zabby

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I remembered this tragic little thread.

True suffering is releasing the first three books in a series in your country and then finishing the series with three or four other books that Amazon only sells in German.

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I don't dislike you, but I think I resent you somewhat. And, upon reflection, I think it's because your life matches my own so much. Quiet, unassuming gals with no real life outside of work, at present. Passionate in what we do, but also lame. Crippled maybe by newness and possibly by anxiety. I am sorry if I come off as rude or uncaring, but honestly I can't tell if you are offended by my indifference to you or not. You're an excellent room mate, but I find myself almost longing for the ones who would fight and have weird guys over. At least they we're interesting..... And clearly something is wrong with me for even thinking this. Not a joke. I feel like there has to be some pathology associated with my disdaining of anyone I see as being like me. 

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I'm lazy. I know that there is so much work that is truly good that I could be doing, but I feel so unmotivated. Even my ordinary, day to day work doesn't always get properly attended to. Sure, some of that is depression, but not all.

I'm failing present responsibilites, I know that my inactivity now will almost certainly have deleterious effects in the future, and I still choose comfort for the most part.

Edited by lauralei

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I've been a member on this forum on this account for five years...?

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I confess to watching things on here from the shadows because I don't think posting is wise. It seems like everyone is just waiting for you to say the wrong thing so they can bash you over the head or ban you or something. And it's silly because off of here, I am very vocal about my opinions.

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I confess to watching things on here from the shadows because I don't think posting is wise. It seems like everyone is just waiting for you to say the wrong thing so they can bash you over the head or ban you or something. And it's silly because off of here, I am very vocal about my opinions.

Well, the admins are actually quite lenient. They really only step in and wield their admin ability when there's actual rule breaking. Everything else is a bit of a free for all though. I'd apologize for your hesitancy except it's really something you'll have to come to terms with on your own. People on here are not pillars of reason in the slightest. They're just young adults and kids who find a philosophical debate about random things help them in their daily walks of life. Or they're silly enough to believe that their religious views are the one and only correct way to live... Don't hold it against them if it seems like they'd like to jump down your throat, I think most of them are practicing for some grand debate they think they'll participate in at some point or other. And to give credit where it's due, the majority of people are delightful when they're not taking themselves so seriously.

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