Jump to content

Ask A Guy


Recommended Posts

If I was with the girl that I liked and she constantly said how hot another guy is when she's around me, that'd upset me. My ex did this alllllll the timeeeee, both with nearly every celebrity that's a guy and to guys she knew irl too. When a girl says another guy is hot while we're dating, it feels degrading to me as I feel like I have to live up to that standard, but can't because I'm just average and not special enough.

 

I mean, if a guy did this to a girl, there would be flames, toilet paper thrown, spears, explosions, and implosions. Personally, nothing good comes from either gender saying this haha.

Wow. With every guy? I wouldn't want to do it with one, as I would not want my boyfriend to say how hot girls are. But a celebrity wouldn't be as bad as someone you knew in person. Just wow.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


  • Replies 4.7k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • 8 months later...

This was a question that came up in my family the other night. Do guys tend to be more protective toward small and dainty girls then taller and less dainty girls? Or does it not matter at all?

Wait... are guys supposed to be protective of girls? I thought you just treated them like a person and acted like a decent human being around/towards them. If a small and dainty girl was being bullied or something, I'd come to her aid. If the high school jock was being bullied, I'd come to his aid. Because it is what a decent person would do.

So no, it doesn't make a difference. Stand up for everyone that needs it. Not the people that look appealing to you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wait... are guys supposed to be protective of girls? I thought you just treated them like a person and acted like a decent human being around/towards them. If a small and dainty girl was being bullied or something, I'd come to her aid. If the high school jock was being bullied, I'd come to his aid. Because it is what a decent person would do.

So no, it doesn't make a difference. Stand up for everyone that needs it. Not the people that look appealing to you.

There's a residual thing from the past that men are supposed to be somewhat protective, yes.and also that women are totally delicate flowers and need protection from a MANLY MAN MAN.  I'm not a delicate flower little flower by any means. I don't want to be protected all the time. which some guys blow out of the water and enter into the controlling territory under the guise of "protecting" a woman.  Nooope.

Your approach sounds MUCH more appealing. I love it.

Protect your girl if she's scared. Hug her if she's sad, give her a heating pad if she's crampy. Just being humane in general. All of the yes.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This was a question that came up in my family the other night. Do guys tend to be more protective toward small and dainty girls then taller and less dainty girls? Or does it not matter at all?

That depends significantly on whether the guy finds dainty girls attractive and on whether he thinks protectiveness is a winning social strategy. However, if you're asking whether guys treat attractive girls differently than unattractive girls, then the answer is almost always yes.

So no, it doesn't make a difference. Stand up for everyone that needs it. Not the people that look appealing to you.

While this might be what one is supposed to do from a liberal pov, it seems like wishful thinking as a description of the way people actually are.

Tons of arbitrary environmental variables influence the way people behave--even "good" people. Nice smells, being in a hurry, or being prompted to empathize with others all have a profound effect on whether almost anyone is likely to be helpful to someone in need. While individual nuance might be up for debate, research is clear that situation is highly salient to how people treat other people.

And sex is a huge part of the situation from a hind brain perspective. Of course guys are going to be inclined to treat an appealing girl differently than an unappealing girl. That's just the wiring.

Of course if you're a good liberal, that might not be a morally appealing idea. You might like to do otherwise than what your wiring suggests. And you can! With conscious strategies and monitoring with a metric, instincts can be overridden. But that's only going to happen if we take a realistic view of the challenge that our implicit biases present.

Edited by Chris-M
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Does it mean a guy likes you if he is "flirts" with you for about three years. Then suddenly stops then somwhat starts? (And by flirting, I mean he jokes around, writes poems that aren't actual poems,etc)

 

When in doubt, ASK HIM OUT! :) 

 

Or at least call out the behavior and get some answers. Preferably in a way that's unambiguous but still generally saves face for both parties. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Okay boys

 

tell me if this is mixed signals and what they mean

 

boy: constantly says he doesn't intend to date for a long while since he and last girl broke up

 

on casual hangout, tells me I didn't have to get all dolled up for him, says his favorite thing about me is my honesty, and encourages me to buy a necklace he thinks would look good on me.

 

WHAT. DOES. THIS. MEAN?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Okay boys

 

tell me if this is mixed signals and what they mean

 

boy: constantly says he doesn't intend to date for a long while since he and last girl broke up

 

on casual hangout, tells me I didn't have to get all dolled up for him, says his favorite thing about me is my honesty, and encourages me to buy a necklace he thinks would look good on me.

 

WHAT. DOES. THIS. MEAN?

He's just being really nice.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Okay boys

tell me if this is mixed signals and what they mean

boy: constantly says he doesn't intend to date for a long while since he and last girl broke up

on casual hangout, tells me I didn't have to get all dolled up for him, says his favorite thing about me is my honesty, and encourages me to buy a necklace he thinks would look good on me.

WHAT. DOES. THIS. MEAN?

Probably that he's just naturally flirty. Guys can talk to girls and give legitimate compliments without it meaning anything.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Okay, I'll throw one in.

 

Someone that I've known for years, was nice for a while, turned into a total jerk, and then acted nice to me for a while and is now acting like a jerk again. (There is no reason for it)

He flirts with every, single girl, (apparently me too) and I have no idea what to do.

I'll see him again in a month, I have NO IDEA what to do, and what to expect.

 

My mom and dad say that he has a crush on me, or that he doesn't know what to do with girls in general.

 

TRANSLATION PLEASE? D:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

He's probably just flirty. But if he's a jerk, don't talk to him. Just because someone flirts with you, doesn't mean they're interested. I used it as a sales tactic at the bakery I used to work at. "Ya'know... they say chocolate is an aphrodisiac, and we just put some fresh chocolate chip cookies out..."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

He's probably just flirty. But if he's a jerk, don't talk to him. Just because someone flirts with you, doesn't mean they're interested. I used it as a sales tactic at the bakery I used to work at. "Ya'know... they say chocolate is an aphrodisiac, and we just put some fresh chocolate chip cookies out..."

 

Mm-kay, thanks. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share




×
×
  • Create New...