Want To Get This Out

[Life4Christ]

Thanks if you take the time to read this: If you dont want to read it just go to the very bottom where I'll sum it up

Well

I've always been a Christian. I've started going to church consistently for like a year now. To sum it up , I do something involving the church at least 4 times a week whether it be service or some sort of practice for praise group, drama etc.

I'm going to be completely honest, my best friend is myself. I don't really have that much good friends and it's not by choice. Honestly, I'm just not really easy to get close with and I know that. Like I will rarely say hi to someone unless they say hi to me or we make eye contact. And also, I judge people too much in my mind(Il'll extend on this later in my post).Anyways , me being very unexpressive is one of my problems but this isnt the point for this topic. Throughout my year in this church I go to, I can say there has been many ups and downs. I thought the church I go to was awesome. I saw nothing wrong with it at all, everyone was so nice. I got baptized like a month into my "journey" , and that day was the first day that I ever felt like "wow how amazing" I don't know life just seemed brighter . I felt like my blood pressure went from sky high to perfect. Then my mom began coming to my church.

My mom has been a non-church christian for like 30 years. She never really tried getting me nor my family to church. She just never really mentioned Christ nor followed Him as much as I'd like her to have followed him so I would of found Him earlier instead of 15 years into my life.

Well the first day home from that first service she came to. I was poured with insults.

They sing WAY too long. "" This guy said this and that's wrong! " "this guy looked and me and didnt say hi"

ETC.

To sum it up again, OF COURSE my mom is older so she MUST be smarter than me. OF COURSE she's been a Christian for like 30 years more than me so she MUST know more than me. Eventually , my family began hating my church.

AND

it really gets to me sadly.

Before my my family critisized my church, I didn't really judge anybody. I just really looked at everyone as my church.

But ever since my mom talked crap about it I started judging everyone in my mind. This has been for like a year on and off.

Like the praise leader. "is she really speaking in toungues or did she rehearse that before she got here"

Or when the pastor prophesies ... " what if he just wrote it and rehearsed what he's going to say every night"

Or like when some lady starts shaking when she's getting ministered " is she just doing that for attention" or " is she doing that so people think she's having an encounter with God"

Or my last example , if a lady is crying hysterically " does she just want people to feel bad for her and treat her better."

I get so annoyed with myself, I THINK WAY TOO MUCH.

SOrry this has been so long , got a little left to say.....

Now let me place real people I know in my church in the above examples.

Theres this girl that I dont even know her situation. She has this boyfriend Im guessing that is like a thug or whatever.

This girl obviously has depression issues and honestly every single time she comes it's the same story over and over again. She cries to the pastor or youth leader and is like thank you thank you . Then in service during ministering, the pastor like councels her or whatever he does and she like starts shaking and crying and falls.

I thought to myself the first time..... " WOW she MUST change after this encounter and conviction she seems to be having. "

3 months later, it's the SAME thing over and over again. Every week she comes back and cries then goes back to her ways. As of now, I havent seen her for like a month.

Then theres this other girl that shakes and all those others things that would make you think shes having a powerful encounter, and I've started being better friends with her in school. And I'm surprised at how unchristianlike she acts outside of church.

Honestly like everyone at my church has some sort of problem I can tell you an entire story about. Im not creepy or anything I just find out a lot of stuff just by seeing how they act and stuff and putting 2 and 2 together.

To end with the people rant, the pastors son is like 17. And I found out by my bro that he had sex with my brothers good friend less than a year ago. That made me like WOW and of course I put 2 and 2 together and it made sense....

NOW PLEASE CONTINUe reading lol here's the MAIN PROBLEM....

Aside from everybody having a problem in my church, as I said before.... I don't have many friends. Actually I did have friends but with me going to church and stuff I quickly became super "boring."

SO really my church friends are my ONLY friends. ( well of course everybody has other friends but you know)

Everybody in my church has their "good" times. And I really really do like everyone it just gets a little frustrating. I feel like I've felt God, but how do I know if it's just really strong feelings. I mean, like if God really exposes himself to people like how I described, then how come I havn't had such a strong encounter with him yet. They have it easier , their entire family goes to church with them, they don't really have it hard at all. But then Im here, in a family filled with mainly alcohol, fighting, cussing, strong world music, you name it. But there I am in my room trying to avoid everything the best I can (even though sometimes I get caught in arguments)and reading the Bible, praying even though I don't really know how to, and calling out to God to have a life changing encounter. But ..... really nothing.

Really what do I do?

I would like to explain so much more but this is getting really long.....

I judge people

I dont know if people are being real or not

they seem to have encounters

somewhat bad testimonies but overall awesome people

church has awesome Words

I want an encounter with God

What should I do?

[dkkev]

Thanks if you take the time to read this: If you dont want to read it just go to the very bottom where I'll sum it up

Well

I've always been a Christian. I've started going to church consistently for like a year now. To sum it up , I do something involving the church at least 4 times a week whether it be service or some sort of practice for praise group, drama etc.

I'm going to be completely honest, my best friend is myself. I don't really have that much good friends and it's not by choice. Honestly, I'm just not really easy to get close with and I know that. Like I will rarely say hi to someone unless they say hi to me or we make eye contact. And also, I judge people too much in my mind(Il'll extend on this later in my post).Anyways , me being very unexpressive is one of my problems but this isnt the point for this topic. Throughout my year in this church I go to, I can say there has been many ups and downs. I thought the church I go to was awesome. I saw nothing wrong with it at all, everyone was so nice. I got baptized like a month into my "journey" , and that day was the first day that I ever felt like "wow how amazing" I don't know life just seemed brighter . I felt like my blood pressure went from sky high to perfect. Then my mom began coming to my church.

My mom has been a non-church christian for like 30 years. She never really tried getting me nor my family to church. She just never really mentioned Christ nor followed Him as much as I'd like her to have followed him so I would of found Him earlier instead of 15 years into my life.

Well the first day home from that first service she came to. I was poured with insults.

They sing WAY too long. "" This guy said this and that's wrong! " "this guy looked and me and didnt say hi"

ETC.

To sum it up again, OF COURSE my mom is older so she MUST be smarter than me. OF COURSE she's been a Christian for like 30 years more than me so she MUST know more than me. Eventually , my family began hating my church.

AND

it really gets to me sadly.

Before my my family critisized my church, I didn't really judge anybody. I just really looked at everyone as my church.

But ever since my mom talked crap about it I started judging everyone in my mind. This has been for like a year on and off.

Like the praise leader. "is she really speaking in toungues or did she rehearse that before she got here"

Or when the pastor prophesies ... " what if he just wrote it and rehearsed what he's going to say every night"

Or like when some lady starts shaking when she's getting ministered " is she just doing that for attention" or " is she doing that so people think she's having an encounter with God"

Or my last example , if a lady is crying hysterically " does she just want people to feel bad for her and treat her better."

I get so annoyed with myself, I THINK WAY TOO MUCH.

SOrry this has been so long , got a little left to say.....

Now let me place real people I know in my church in the above examples.

Theres this girl that I dont even know her situation. She has this boyfriend Im guessing that is like a thug or whatever.

This girl obviously has depression issues and honestly every single time she comes it's the same story over and over again. She cries to the pastor or youth leader and is like thank you thank you . Then in service during ministering, the pastor like councels her or whatever he does and she like starts shaking and crying and falls.

I thought to myself the first time..... " WOW she MUST change after this encounter and conviction she seems to be having. "

3 months later, it's the SAME thing over and over again. Every week she comes back and cries then goes back to her ways. As of now, I havent seen her for like a month.

Then theres this other girl that shakes and all those others things that would make you think shes having a powerful encounter, and I've started being better friends with her in school. And I'm surprised at how unchristianlike she acts outside of church.

Honestly like everyone at my church has some sort of problem I can tell you an entire story about. Im not creepy or anything I just find out a lot of stuff just by seeing how they act and stuff and putting 2 and 2 together.

To end with the people rant, the pastors son is like 17. And I found out by my bro that he had sex with my brothers good friend less than a year ago. That made me like WOW and of course I put 2 and 2 together and it made sense....

NOW PLEASE CONTINUe reading lol here's the MAIN PROBLEM....

Aside from everybody having a problem in my church, as I said before.... I don't have many friends. Actually I did have friends but with me going to church and stuff I quickly became super "boring."

SO really my church friends are my ONLY friends. ( well of course everybody has other friends but you know)

Everybody in my church has their "good" times. And I really really do like everyone it just gets a little frustrating. I feel like I've felt God, but how do I know if it's just really strong feelings. I mean, like if God really exposes himself to people like how I described, then how come I havn't had such a strong encounter with him yet. They have it easier , their entire family goes to church with them, they don't really have it hard at all. But then Im here, in a family filled with mainly alcohol, fighting, cussing, strong world music, you name it. But there I am in my room trying to avoid everything the best I can (even though sometimes I get caught in arguments)and reading the Bible, praying even though I don't really know how to, and calling out to God to have a life changing encounter. But ..... really nothing.

Really what do I do?

I would like to explain so much more but this is getting really long.....

I judge people

I dont know if people are being real or not

they seem to have encounters

somewhat bad testimonies but overall awesome people

church has awesome Words

I want an encounter with God

What should I do?[/b]

My first question would be: What kind of church do you go to?

I think one of your main problems is that your whole premises on certain things is wrong. A couple things you said:

"I've always been a Christian. I've started going to church consistently for like a year now."

"My mom has been a non-church christian for like 30 years."

What is a Christian? Well, it's quite important that you know the answer to that question.

"Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come."

-2 Corinthians 5:17

If someone is a Christian, they are a new creature. And what does that mean? It means that when someone becomes a Christian God takes out the unbelievers heart of stone that cannot respond to Him, and God replaces it with a heart of flesh (the verse is quoted in my sig).

Now, keeping that in mind... "non-church christian," let's just say this, there isn't such a thing as a non-church Christian. (Now obviously there are certain exceptions... like if you're in a nursing home or something... but this doesn't sound like an exception.) In short, it doesn't sound like your mom is saved... I mean, if you've been alive for 15 years and your mom hasn't even mentioned what should be the most important thing in your life, Christ, then I have some serious doubts.

Then you made the statement that you were born a Christian. I want to make it clear that you can't be born a Christian. (and there's Scripture to back that up if you need some )

Now, onto your... problem. To be quite honest, when I was reading through this and read that your pastor's son had premarital sex...

Well let's just say this, if that's what his son is like, it tells you something about the pastor himself (now there are exceptions...)

I would say that your thoughts that you are having aren't in themselves, bad thoughts. In fact, I think these some of these could possibly be good things to be thinking about...

I think I may need to know a bit more about your situation before I can help out too much more. Feel free to PM me

[samward]

Every church has its problems, but don't go judging what you get and give in your relationship with Christ on the actions or POSSIBLE hypocrisy of those around you. They are all human, as are you, and I, and everyone else here. Doubts come. Mark 9:24 ends with "I believe, but help me with my unbelief." It's not the church's fault that people SEEM to be hypocritical. (notice the emphasis; i have never been one to like judging others on their spiritual walk)

The pastor's son had sex: how does that affect you and your walk? Unless he slept with you, this becomes almost trivial.

The girl doesn't change after her encounters: how does that affect you and your walk? Unless you are her, it almost doesn't.

I'm not saying that seeing fellow Christians stumble doesn't affect you; it just can't dominate YOUR walk.

I hope this helps. This is just how I see things

[jessi_luv6]

Thanks if you take the time to read this: If you dont want to read it just go to the very bottom where I'll sum it up

I'm going to be completely honest, my best friend is myself. I don't really have that much good friends and it's not by choice. Honestly, I'm just not really easy to get close with and I know that. Like I will rarely say hi to someone unless they say hi to me or we make eye contact. And also, I judge people too much in my mind(Il'll extend on this later in my post).Anyways , me being very unexpressive is one of my problems but this isnt the point for this topic.[/b]

I know you said this isn't the point, but maybe making more friends will help you trust people more and judge less, and improve your experience at church. Making more friends both inside and outside of church helps you connect with people more, and I really think it could help with everything else. I know that you said its not my choice, I'm not a social butterfly either. In fact, I used to do the exact same thing... not even say hi to people unless they say hi first, and even then the "hi" turns out somewhat unnatural. But good friends really do help, and I know its hard to make one and it takes time.

NOW PLEASE CONTINUe reading lol here's the MAIN PROBLEM....

Aside from everybody having a problem in my church, as I said before.... I don't have many friends. Actually I did have friends but with me going to church and stuff I quickly became super "boring."

SO really my church friends are my ONLY friends. ( well of course everybody has other friends but you know)

Everybody in my church has their "good" times. And I really really do like everyone it just gets a little frustrating. I feel like I've felt God, but how do I know if it's just really strong feelings. I mean, like if God really exposes himself to people like how I described, then how come I havn't had such a strong encounter with him yet. They have it easier , their entire family goes to church with them, they don't really have it hard at all. But then Im here, in a family filled with mainly alcohol, fighting, cussing, strong world music, you name it. But there I am in my room trying to avoid everything the best I can (even though sometimes I get caught in arguments)and reading the Bible, praying even though I don't really know how to, and calling out to God to have a life changing encounter. But ..... really nothing.

Really what do I do?[/b]

God exposes Himself differently to different people at different times... This could be a way God is strengthening your faith, He does have a plan Keep praying and listening, and remember that God hears you and that you aren't alone

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.- Philippians 4:6

For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.†Jeremiah 29:11

You also mentioned how other people, like your mom, were affecting how you view others. These comments really do rub off and affect how you judge people and think. Each time you hear criticisms, be conscious about it and try to not let it affect how you view others and your relationship with them and God.

I hope this does help and makes sense. You said you'd like to explain more... pm me if you want

I'll be praying for you

[Lion_Angel]

I think one of your main lessons from these situations are these:

A) Everyone is a sinful being. No one is perfect, and no one can be perfect. Christ will wash away our sins no matter how dirty we get or how often. His love is limitless.

B ) Everything is in its own time. You will learn things in time, others will learn things in time, etc. God's timing is all that matters. You needn't fight for it, you need to just live every day in love for others and for God and let everything come in its own time, in God's time. But so as not to be hypocritical, so do I!!! It can be very difficult, but fighting and praying, I've been told a million times, is what we need to do.

C) Regarding judging, you and I do not sound too different. I tend to judge people, too. I try very hard not to, and I *think* I'm getting better at it, but it's so difficult when you know the right way and you see others no following in it. But we always have to remember: a) They are sinners and We are sinners and c) God is the only rightful Judge. It's such a relief when you just get rid of judging. It's not our responsibility to judge. Isn't that such a relief? No matter what people say or do, we don't have to judge them for it--all we have to do is give it to God and let Him judge. And justly too. We never realize it, but sin really is a burden...a second-natured thing that we assume as a responsibility. Until Christ washes us of it, we never really realize.

D) God is not an encounter. He's not a feeling. He's not a sensation. He is a Being, Alive, Living, Loving, Existing as real as you and I. God never said, "You will always feel Me" But He did say, "I will always be with you." Remember, only "an adulterous nation asks for a miracle." and "Blessed are those who, though who have not seen me, yet still believe." Don't be discouraged while all around you people are shaking and prophesying while you just stand and doubt. Simply follow Christ, pray, and fight. I think we all know what it's like to not "feel" God. Sometimes we can only bow in His presence, other times we climb to mountains trying to feel for Him--only in God's time will He reveal Himself in personal ways. When we are with friends we don't try to feel happiness, we just let go and let happiness happen. Let feelings take care of themselves, as C.S. Lewis says.

I'm sorry if I wasn't much help. I just want to encourage your walk in Christ. Keep studying your Bible, and keep praying. Don't fall into Satan's traps, no matter how subtle they seem.

[iluvfrogs]

Instead of looking for an "encounter with God" why not just look for God. He will reveal himself to you when he knows you are ready just like he did so many times in the Bible and just as he has done for me.

Just last night I was reading in the Bible in Matthew chapter 7 verse 7 and 8 and Luke chapter 11 verse 9 and 10 and they both said the same thing.

Matthew 7:7,8 Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened

Luke 11:9,10 And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, nd the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, reeives. Everyone who seeks finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.

It is the exact same verse in two different places.

Just keep reading your Bible and keep praying. I would suggest reading the book of Matthew. Jesus teaches about all these things and gives intstruction on how to deal with them.

I will keep you in my prayers.

God bless

[MyDestinyIsHeaven]

Lions_angel and jesusfreakgirl93, I must say, your posts truly spoke to me, how powerful they were...I know you didn't intend that but I thank God for prompting you to write those and for how He works in different ways!

God Bless!

Ok, so Life4Christ...it looks like the enemy is using someone close to you and someone in whom you have placed your trust in to dissuade you from what you know to be the truth. And actually, l would take it as a good thing in a warped way, cuz things like these tend to happen when we try to get closer and closer to God...the enemy tries to dissuade us with lies! This means that you are indeed doing the right thing in trying to further your spiritual walk.

Unfortunately, the devil uses whatever is close to our hearts to do that...friends, family, television, music...whatever affects us strongly, the devil tries to use to hurt us.

And I cannot agree more with what the others have posted. Just know in your mind and in your heart that the judging is not up to you, and that you must focus on you and God, not you, God, and what He does with other people...it's like when Jesus was talking to Peter about His other disciple John. Peter was inquiring about the way John would die, right after Jesus told Peter how he would die in glorifying God. Jesus basically told Peter that it wasn't his business how John would die (John 21:23), that Peter should not compare himself to other people, and that he should just focus on following Christ.

People are brought into this world in different ways, and that is God's discretion. Romans 11:33-35 (new living translation) says: "Oh, how great are God's riches and wisdom and knowledge! How impossible it is for us to understand His decisions and His ways! For who can know the Lord's thoughts? Who knows enough to give Him advice? And who has given Him so much that He needs to give it back?"

All that matters is that we take the route that we were given, and use it to seek God. It's really easy to have a pity party, trust me I know lol, but in the end, how do we deal with the life we have been given? And look at it as a powerful testimon that's to come out of your life.

As I write this, these passages speaks to me strongly, as I too am struggling with this curse of comparison (and most of the other things you too are struggling with), and it's so important that we have scripture in our hearts--I am learning this as I go along. If you have Scripture, then you have Truth, and then you'll be able to better discern what lies are and what truth is. You are surely not alone; seek the company of others who are in Christ.

Hope all my rambling helped! =]

[swampfox]

God is not just a stron gfeeling, though i question alot too, and i don thave many friends offline. God is a life inside of you. love is a strong feeling. does that make it, or the person you are in love with any less real? no. trust Christ, and accept Him as your personal Savior. continue believing, and be social