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Jess_Luvs_Jesus

A boy problem

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Hi all,

There's this guy I have a really big crush on and I like him sooooo much. Problem is, I can be really shy, especially around guys and ESPECIALLY around guys that I like. What makes this even worse is that, thanks to my friend, he knows I like him, so he'll know my intentions and I really don't want to blow it. I can hardly talk to this guy because I am so shy and I SO don't wanna blow my chances with him. I need some advice as for how to work up my courage to talk to him, and I also don't really have much to talk to him about, so I need some ideas to help me get to know him. I have two classes with him which helps, and I'd really like to be able to sit next to him, but the one time i had a chance i chickened out. I need advice! Thanks!

Jess.

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Crushes are so adorable!

Okay, I've got my mushy girly squealing out of the way. So, I was in this exact same position so many times in high school! I was the shy girl who never talked to boys, especially if I liked them. I just giggled stupidly at everything they said and stood by them all the time (kind of stalker-ish now that I think about it). Finally I think I had this random boost of confidence and I decided "Breanna, you are strong, confident, amazing, and a foxy lady. It's time you put yourself out there." After that I would just tell a guy when I liked him. If he didn't like me back, that was his loss. I'd eventually find someone who realized how special I was.

I remember one time in particular, coming home from a football game on the band bus, I held hands with one boy and fell asleep on his shoulder. I thought he was cute and we had been flirting for a while, but I was blown away when all this went down. At the time I had a giant, mega, supermassive, enormous, colossal crush on a drummer in our band, and had since oh...seventh grade. He was tall, dark, handsome, and had the most amazing name for a writer ever....I'm a sucker for those beatnik poet types...anyway, after the band bus incident I began to wonder if I should give up on Mr. Faulkner (yes like William Faulkner...I told you his name was perfect) and pursue this cute hand holding honey. One night I blatantly told Mr. Faulkner, "Lincoln, I like you. I have for quite some time and well, I don't know if anything could possibly happen between us, but I'm also really digging this other guy, and I gotta know, are you ever going to be into me that way?" As it turns out, he was not. His loss. Although, neither was the other guy so I moved on completely.

The point is, sometimes you just have to put yourself out there or you might miss something incredible!

Hope this helps!

And I hope things work out with the mega hottie you've got.

Go get'em Tiger!

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Thank you so much! I really liked reading your post and it was very encouraging. I've talked a little bit to the guy mentioned above, and he's really nice. My friends have been helping me because a couple of my friends are his friend so they're helping me get to know him and have opportunities to talk to him. I think that slowly, I will get to know him, and even if it's just as a friend, that will be okay for now. He's too popular - his friends are always around so its hard to have a one-on-one conversation with him... lol. I said that he knows I like him, but I was talking to my friend about it and she said she could tell he wasn't sure if the friend who told him I like him was joking or not, so he's waiting for me to make a move. This pushes me further to actually communicate with him! I'm not quite as nervous to talk to him anymore, and I have done so a few times. So far it's going fine. Thanks again for your advice.

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One of the many funny things about guys is that we really like it when a girl like us and is shy. I don't know why but myself and every other guy I know all feel the same way about it.

Just sit in that seat and be shy! He'll know that your friend wasn't kidding and then you can gauge his reaction from there, if he starts flirting with you then you may have yourself a catch ;)

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Just be yourself,

'shy' isn't a bad thing... if anything it can be a good thing.

The more you get to know him, the more confidence you'd have to be yourself?

If if turn's out you two aren't 'good' for each other, no danger, there's alot of other guy's out there.

That's how I see it anyway.

I don't think there's any certain way you should approach a guy or girl you like, just be yourself & let 'time' decide the rest...

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Just be yourself. If you wanna say something to him, make sure it sounds normal but dont over analyze it. Like dont walk up to him and say "ZOMG I love your purple nose hairs lol" but dont go up to him being something you arent. Try to make him laugh. WITH you not AT you. Tell a joke or something. Lessen the tension. Dont come across as easy or anything, but do something to make him notice you; for the RIGHT reasons. Like fix your hair a different. Ask your friend or someone who you and this guy both know well that you can trust what some of his intrests are. If you share some with him, start up a conversation about it. If you dont, wait till he brings something up and ask questions. But dont ever be something you arent. Cuz then a guy cant see if they like you, they like who you are pretending to be. All in all, dont stress. He is just one guy. Show him all the reasons; again the right reasons, why he should like you. And above all, Pray hard and ask God to put you with this guy if its his will.

Hope this helps. ;)

Wear it out.

Yours in Christ

Haley

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Thanks guys. This really really helps. Yes, after I get to know him better and better, I will feel more confident around him. I do know some of his interests, but they are just things like cars, soccer, nothing I'm interested in. I could ask about his taste in music... I think I could get along with him well after a while.

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I think it would be better for you to not be worrying about a guy and pursuing him. Is God leading you in this endeavor or is it your own desires? Are you more concerned with if this guy likes you back or if your life pleases God?

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Shy isnt nessecarily bad in your situation aslong as he can still get the message;)

Very true.

Jess, you should count yourself lucky as us boys HAVE to come across confident, without being shy. Otherwise it really doesn't work. Personal experience anyway..

I'm going to agree with what the lads have been saying here. A girl who obviously likes you, and is shy about it is very cute.

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jess,

i have lost count how many times i was in your shoes

but everyone here is right, just be yourself, even if that

means being in shy mode.

i had a guy one time i lost because i did not speak when it

was my chance, i kept quiet when i wanted to talk. but

you could look at it this way: he already knows you like him

which means that he has probbably made up his mind mostly

about you, so their is not much you can to change it

just be yourself and he will let you know one way or the other

good luck girl! i'm rutin for ya

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when i volunteered for a youth group i saw a very beautiful girl she walked into the room and i knew i had to speak to her.the weird things is all i could come out with was

"IM NICK!!!so who are you"

after that i couldnt speak to her again because i felt so embarrased everybody told her that i liked her and after some time of plucking up courage whilst she was upset i grabbed her and pulled her towards me whilst she was crying.

after that we started speaking more and more then we started to date.

just get to know him even if its just a messae every now and then

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im afraid ill have to disagree with many of you here, I prefer the opposite of shyness, If someone liked me and I liked them, I'd prefer that they be outgoing almost to the point of annoyance. On the other hand if it were me in your shoes, I would take the middle ground neither being shy nor blatant in my attempts to get to know the person..here is the magic formula:

from stranger to familiar face, from familiar face to acquaintance, from acquaintance to friend, from friend to close friend, from close friend to closest of friends, from closest of friends to girl/boy friend if they are interested of course :P (break up and repeat until wedding day if necessary)

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