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How did you stop???? Lust,Porn,MB,Sex,etc...

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So this is where I would really like people who have(not completely conquered as thats prob impossible) but have gotten out of Lust,Porn,Masturbating,Sex,Dirty thoughts, etc. Just like name practical ways/things that people who have faced and defeated this struggle have done to overcome it.

This isn't a debate of if any of the above are a sin or not because that's what some of the threads turn into. I just wanna figure out some practical ways to avoid, fight, and overcome these sins.

thanks and God bless

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here's what I know:

1) Porn

-beating porn is hard. and you'll struggle with it till the day you die if you've been addicted before. It's a struggle because your body wants it. unlike an alcoholic or a tobacco addict when after you break your addiction your body rejects it, porn is something your body won't "reject" naturally like substances. Your body wants it. The only way you can overcome something your body is always willing to accept is with your brain. you have to mentally overcome your body's desire for sexual release and your brain's desire for sexual conduct. That requires a lot of mental capacity and determination. Frankly it's something that I can say is nearly impossible without the help of Jesus in your life. (I say nearly because I know plenty of non-Christians who are successfully un-addicted).

In short, determine in your heart and mind that it's something you want to give up. Then pray for God's support, every morning, every afternoon, and every night. Then just don't do it :P I know that sounds a little simple but really you just have to consciously make a decision every day that it's something you won't do. The hard part is keeping up that determination.

--

Practical things for dealing with it:

-Don't bring your laptop into your bedroom, or if there's a larger computer in there, get it out.

-Don't try to hide it from parents, pastor etc... Thinking "I can deal with this on my own and avoid the embarrassment" will not work. It's just possible you *need* to be embarrassed ;)

-Don't watch movies by yourself.

-Work on "bouncing your eyes" - When you walk by girls in lowcut dresses and plunging necklines look at their face, not down their body. I have to do this at college all the time. The best thing to do, make eye contact and smile!

-Chad

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I think porn is easy to quit. Here's the score: it reduces women down to purely sexual objects. That's junk. Not even from a moral theology standpoint, its pretty crappy. Just don't look at porn. Step one.

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I think porn is easy to quit. Here's the score: it reduces women down to purely sexual objects. That's junk. Not even from a moral theology standpoint, its pretty crappy. Just don't look at porn. Step one.

Well, don't you sound pretty confident. I'm actually trying really hard right now to quit and I'd have to say it's probably one of the hardest things I've tried so far. I'm currently on day 8..

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Threenights, I don't really want to be rude or start anythng. But, if it were as easy as you say, then this wouldn't be a problem. There are many men married, unmarried, whatever that struggle with this. Many of them do not have a poor view of women, men in general must 'release' about every 72 hours. Its natural and unfightable, what is fightable is the way of release. This is for unmarried men is through night-time emmissions. I would suggest reading a book called Everyman'sbattle, I'm currnetly in the middle of reading it. It is geared toward married men, but I believe there is one for teenage men that I'm trying to look up. But, it gives you many techniques in fighting impurity. I personally struggle with this and this book has helped, though I still stumble.

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porn? haha. I think its odd to think about..but I mean, its a personal choice to watch it or not watch it and masturbate. I mean, it doesnt "hurt" anyone else or whatever. I mean, everyone has "lustful" or "impure" thoughts..its what makes us all human. I wouldnt worry about it soo much, unless someone watches pornography soo much it affects their day to day life, but otherwise, I wouldnt waste my own time dwelling on it.

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Porn and Masturbation. 4-6 years of both. I don't remember which one was for longer. I was caught looking at porn, but it didn't stop me. I was almost caught masturbating...but never really. Then there was this girl. I couldn't bring myself to hide it from her anymore, so I opened up to her, and she supported me and gave me an "ultimatum" where we wouldn't date (we were going to start dating) for 40 days from the last time i did it. And if i did it, i would tell her, and we couldn't touch for that day. Masturbated once after the ultimatum, and we were dating...that day was not fun. I've been clean for over a year now, and the only way i've survived is totally giving my heart to God, and my desires and everything. i know it might sound cheesy, but He is the ONLY way to stay clean. Only He can defeat the demons driving you to do things.

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Porn and Masturbation. 4-6 years of both. I don't remember which one was for longer. I was caught looking at porn, but it didn't stop me. I was almost caught masturbating...but never really. Then there was this girl. I couldn't bring myself to hide it from her anymore, so I opened up to her, and she supported me and gave me an "ultimatum" where we wouldn't date (we were going to start dating) for 40 days from the last time i did it. And if i did it, i would tell her, and we couldn't touch for that day. Masturbated once after the ultimatum, and we were dating...that day was not fun. I've been clean for over a year now, and the only way i've survived is totally giving my heart to God, and my desires and everything. i know it might sound cheesy, but He is the ONLY way to stay clean. Only He can defeat the demons driving you to do things.

I agree! We have to have God at the forfront of our minds. It will be extremely evident when we don't. We also need to root ourselves in the Word. Icexist, I rejoice with you brother about your victory over this.

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I agree... So far I've been going for about five weeks. Me and a close friend have the same problem and although we haven't talked one on one we both know and I know if I'm gonna screw up I can talk to him and he'd help me out. I think that alone just drives me to succeed.

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The Rundown

1. God God God God God God God:

I'm serious, without God you will not win this battle. It doesn't matter how hard you fight the battle, how many practical tips you use, without the spiritual side to things, it means nothing. You need to rest in him, to submit yourself to him, to humble yourself before him in able to win this. Without that, nothing else will mean anything. I suggest just waking up, getting on your knees and submitting your day to God every morning, he won't let you down.

2. Don't look for convenience

The bible only list's two ways to fight this sin, you either flee or you cut it off. It is the only sin that God's word tells you not to face directly, why? Because you'll lose, pure and simple. If your home alone and your being tempted, get out of there, go somewhere else. If that's not possible flee to his word. If your addicted to internet porn, don't just resist it, get a filter, cut it off. If magazines are causing you to lust, burn them. If it's movies, trash them. If it's that HBO subscription, get rid of it. If it is causing you to commit sexual sin, you get rid of it, and if you can't do that you keep away from it. Yes carving these things out of your life hurts, and you lose a lot of sweet things, but what you gain is infinitely sweeter. Freedom

3. Know how to look at women

We men go through the day, take pictures of women with our eyes , and then save them for later. Face it, you do it, and you know you do it. Now a lot of us completely misinterpret this, and decide that it's a sin to look at women in general. Not only is that foolish, but it's completely impossible. Your setting yourself up for failure. What you need to do when you see a woman, is acknowledge that she's beautiful AKA attractive. Recognize her as a child of God, and remind yourself that you have no right to lust after her. Now of course in our sexually crazed world it's not always that simple. This is where eye bouncing comes in, if you see cleavage, or bootylicious walking in front of you, or anything else your going to lust after regardless, bounce your eyes, don't let your mind take that picture. Honestly your going to be terrible at this the first couple of days, but don't be discouraged, you'll get better, and pretty soon, it will be almost natural.

4. Accountability

This is absolutely crucial. We were not designed to fight sin alone, and since sexual sin especially is a sin that absolutley thrives in the dark, we are definitely not supposed to fight this alone. Find someone who will challenge you, who will be there for you, who will pray with you and pray for you, who will be honest with you, who will encourage you, who won't be afraid to tell you if your screwing up, and who will keep in contact with you. Online accountability partners are cool, but honestly it'll be better if you find one in your life. Face it 10 out of 10 christian guys have fought this, It's not as weird as you think. Maybe a strong christian friend or perhaps a mens church group.God has put somebody in your life. And if you need to tell your parents that your addicted to porn, tell them. Yes it will be the most awkward conversation of your life, but it's totally worth it to be free. Don't keep this in the dark.

5: Random Tips

If your being tempted bad: work out, and I don't mean walk around the block a few times, more like, run a few miles, or lift, or you know, really work out. Trust me, It helps. Also the more your alone, the more you think about, so keep yourself busy. Reward Yourself, Every week you have pure, treat yourself to something. And rejoice in God always.

6. Don't be discouraged

It would be really cool if the first time we tried to be free of this we would win. but personally this is my 23232rd attempt at being free from this, and even though only the last 5 times have I done this with God and made real progress with this, it still gives you a good picture. In The Proverbs solomon says

The godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again. But one disaster is enough to overthrow the wicked." Prov 24:16

Do you get it?, you are not judged by if you fall, but by if you repent and fight it again. In Luke Jesus Says

***“If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. 4 Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.”

God holds himself to that same standard. So it doesn't matter if you really screw up and look at porn and masturbate 7 times in one day, If you turn to God, you will be washed in his blood, and you'll be blameless in his sight. You are forgiven. Don't let satan trick you that your too dirty too fight this. Get up, get yourself right with God, repent, confess if you need to confess, correct what you got wrong, get rid of what's tripping you up, and go at it again. Fighting this sucks, it's true, but when God begins a good work in you he will complete it. Stick with him and he will set you free, believe it.

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The Rundown

1. God God God God God God God:

I'm serious, without God you will not win this battle. It doesn't matter how hard you fight the battle, how many practical tips you use, without the spiritual side to things, it means nothing. You need to rest in him, to submit yourself to him, to humble yourself before him in able to win this. Without that, nothing else will mean anything. I suggest just waking up, getting on your knees and submitting your day to God every morning, he won't let you down.

2. Don't look for convenience

The bible only list's two ways to fight this sin, you either flee or you cut it off. It is the only sin that God's word tells you not to face directly, why? Because you'll lose, pure and simple. If your home alone and your being tempted, get out of there, go somewhere else. If that's not possible flee to his word. If your addicted to internet porn, don't just resist it, get a filter, cut it off. If magazines are causing you to lust, burn them. If it's movies, trash them. If it's that HBO subscription, get rid of it. If it is causing you to commit sexual sin, you get rid of it, and if you can't do that you keep away from it. Yes carving these things out of your life hurts, and you lose a lot of sweet things, but what you gain is infinitely sweeter. Freedom

3. Know how to look at women

We men go through the day, take pictures of women with our eyes , and then save them for later. Face it, you do it, and you know you do it. Now a lot of us completely misinterpret this, and decide that it's a sin to look at women in general. Not only is that foolish, but it's completely impossible. Your setting yourself up for failure. What you need to do when you see a woman, is acknowledge that she's beautiful AKA attractive. Recognize her as a child of God, and remind yourself that you have no right to lust after her. Now of course in our sexually crazed world it's not always that simple. This is where eye bouncing comes in, if you see cleavage, or bootylicious walking in front of you, or anything else your going to lust after regardless, bounce your eyes, don't let your mind take that picture. Honestly your going to be terrible at this the first couple of days, but don't be discouraged, you'll get better, and pretty soon, it will be almost natural.

4. Accountability

This is absolutely crucial. We were not designed to fight sin alone, and since sexual sin especially is a sin that absolutley thrives in the dark, we are definitely not supposed to fight this alone. Find someone who will challenge you, who will be there for you, who will pray with you and pray for you, who will be honest with you, who will encourage you, who won't be afraid to tell you if your screwing up, and who will keep in contact with you. Online accountability partners are cool, but honestly it'll be better if you find one in your life. Face it 10 out of 10 christian guys have fought this, It's not as weird as you think. Maybe a strong christian friend or perhaps a mens church group.God has put somebody in your life. And if you need to tell your parents that your addicted to porn, tell them. Yes it will be the most awkward conversation of your life, but it's totally worth it to be free. Don't keep this in the dark.

5: Random Tips

If your being tempted bad: work out, and I don't mean walk around the block a few times, more like, run a few miles, or lift, or you know, really work out. Trust me, It helps. Also the more your alone, the more you think about, so keep yourself busy. Reward Yourself, Every week you have pure, treat yourself to something. And rejoice in God always.

6. Don't be discouraged

It would be really cool if the first time we tried to be free of this we would win. but personally this is my 23232rd attempt at being free from this, and even though only the last 5 times have I done this with God and made real progress with this, it still gives you a good picture. In The Proverbs solomon says

The godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again. But one disaster is enough to overthrow the wicked." Prov 24:16

Do you get it?, you are not judged by if you fall, but by if you repent and fight it again. In Luke Jesus Says

***“If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. 4 Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.”

God holds himself to that same standard. So it doesn't matter if you really screw up and look at porn and masturbate 7 times in one day, If you turn to God, you will be washed in his blood, and you'll be blameless in his sight. You are forgiven. Don't let satan trick you that your too dirty too fight this. Get up, get yourself right with God, repent, confess if you need to confess, correct what you got wrong, get rid of what's tripping you up, and go at it again. Fighting this sucks, it's true, but when God begins a good work in you he will complete it. Stick with him and he will set you free, believe it.

Wow dude that was the best thing I've read/heard in weeks.

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Usually when something is compulsive, your not dealing with your compulsion, you are dealing with what causes the compulsion.

In too many cases the cause is a feeling of rejection or abandonment. If that is the case, you need to address that and get free of it. That will mean forgiving the person who you feel has rejected you or abandoned you.

By way of example, if a boys father dies when he is say eight years old, he can feel that his dad has abandoned him so he will seek comfort from something or someone.

What might start out as something vague and intermittent can take over that person's personality and they become what they do as it is a replacement identity.

Unfortunately, it becomes self defeating because what you do can never replace the one you loved and felt abandoned you.

Seek God's healing power for the hurt that you have experienced. Once that happens, you will not need the replacement therapy that sex offers. This may mean you will need to share with someone you trust and ask them to pray for you and with you.

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that is an awesome summary letsgofishing. If only I had heard that a long time ago.

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Surrendering to God daily is a big help.

To fear God more than to lust after your desires is where this whole battle begins. Do you fear the wrath and the power of God (which is absolutely Mind boggling by the way) more than you lust after your desires?

If you try your best to stop these things, and I think letsgofishing has good points, when you mess up its no big deal, you get up and try your best again.

Watch Facing the Giants, the part when Brock is walking across the field and apply that mentality to your resistance in this war against these sins

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First off what letsgofishing said was awesome.

Honestly I haven't logged on here in awhile and the only reason I did was cause I failed horribly again. I have personally been having some progress though and thought I would just share some of the things God has shown me in my struggle.

1.Spending time in Gods word and CONSTANTLY being in conversation with God is probably the most important thing. I had never really been into "quiet times" but picking a book of the bible and going through 1 chapter a day has been a HUGE part of success for me. Getting a pen and underlining important things or circling questions I have. Just spending time in Gods word right when I wake up definitely puts my mind on the right track and sets the day up for success.

-Praying and constantly talking to God is another huge thing. Covering yourself in prayer no matter if you are currently being tempted or not always helps.

WHEN YOU ARE BEING TEMPTED though, talking to God OUT LOUD is something that can really help. Just telling God out loud that I need help and asking for strength sometimes is just the thing to get me to think twice and leave the situation I'm in.

The Guilt... Its always been interesting how I constantly sin, and I know that every sin is the same in Gods eyes yet for some reason this is the only sin that after just completely coversssss me in guilt and shame. Before every time I screwed up I would just give up, feeling like I didnt deserve God and couldn't come to him. What I realized though is that when we mess up we should grow even closer to God. Don't let the guilt and shame separate you from God, run to him.

Lastly, make sure when you begin this fight you are doing it for the right reasons. I was watching a video talking about this struggle and a guy was talking about how sometimes we aren't even fighting for God we are fighting for ourselves. What hes saying is when we realize that Lust, porn, masturbating, everything is wrong we don't want to stop to glorify God. We want to stop simply because now we realize WE ourselves are enslaved to this sin and we can't break free. Therefore we aren't trying to stop for God but for ourselves and that oftentimes is why we will fail so much. Maybe that makes sense, maybe it doesn't I will try to find the video so you can watch for yourself, its a great video. Another thing you might want to take a look at is a book called sex is not the problem, lust is by Joshua Harris it as a great, very easy to read book that talks about the root of the problem and how to change.

I'll be praying for you and that God will help you in your stuggles.

Take care

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I'm struggling with this type of stuff too. I use it as an escape from my life I think. My parents are always fighting, and i can't find a girlfriend. So i turn to that stuff. Plus, i hurt myself sometimes too. I've never actually been in a relationship, but that's what i want. That's all I really want. I always think about my future wife and kids. And when i do, I don't even think about the sex aspect of it, but rather just the joy of having people around me. Having children who look like me who i will love no matter what. A wife who will unconditionally love me, and I'll love her back. That's what gets me through the day.

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Well... I got some problems on it by my self. But its disgusting, Gives a picture of sexual life nobody wants. Destroy "acting" peoples soul, body. Programing your mind to look at sex as smt dirty, ment to be hidden by God. Theres probably some Demon putting it daily onto your mind, its BS that your body would go against you unless theres some spiritual cover behind it. And be sure hes watching you xB and so is GOD.

I was mostly staying out of it when God literaly did smt to small in my heart (at least small to my sences) and i was disgusted with it. Mainly problem is i think id miss it i guess.

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I'm struggling with this type of stuff too. I use it as an escape from my life I think. My parents are always fighting, and i can't find a girlfriend. So i turn to that stuff. Plus, i hurt myself sometimes too. I've never actually been in a relationship, but that's what i want. That's all I really want. I always think about my future wife and kids. And when i do, I don't even think about the sex aspect of it, but rather just the joy of having people around me. Having children who look like me who i will love no matter what. A wife who will unconditionally love me, and I'll love her back. That's what gets me through the day.

A good example of what I was talking about.

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Love God and surrender to the power of the Holy Spirit to be your strength.

I can't remember how I stopped the porn....it was much to stop doing that than masturbation, which i must admit i still do, though only on a weekly basis. Its all about loving God, thats how I overcame it. Having a girlfriend, making bets, or depriving yourself of things won't help you. It might help with porn, but masturbation and lust itself is a whole different ball game.

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Porn and Masturbation. 4-6 years of both. I don't remember which one was for longer. I was caught looking at porn, but it didn't stop me. I was almost caught masturbating...but never really. Then there was this girl. I couldn't bring myself to hide it from her anymore, so I opened up to her, and she supported me and gave me an "ultimatum" where we wouldn't date (we were going to start dating) for 40 days from the last time i did it. And if i did it, i would tell her, and we couldn't touch for that day. Masturbated once after the ultimatum, and we were dating...that day was not fun. I've been clean for over a year now, and the only way i've survived is totally giving my heart to God, and my desires and everything. i know it might sound cheesy, but He is the ONLY way to stay clean. Only He can defeat the demons driving you to do things.

I dont want to sound...intrusive, but it sounds like you did it for you girl mate. Which is far more noble than doing it for God. If she had not issued the ultimatum, and you had not tasted what it was like not having contact with her, would you have had the incentive to stop? From your post it seems not.

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I dont want to sound...intrusive, but it sounds like you did it for you girl mate. Which is far more noble than doing it for God. If she had not issued the ultimatum, and you had not tasted what it was like not having contact with her, would you have had the incentive to stop? From your post it seems not.
Meh, at first glance that would seem like a legitimate issue, but once you give it some thought, I don't really think so. I believe God does a whole lot of work through other people. So while it might seem as though God didn't orchestrate this, he actually did. Some people can stop looking at porn simply through the power of God, but some people need a more concrete reason. It isn't the absence of God, its just him working through different means.

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I dont want to sound...intrusive, but it sounds like you did it for you girl mate. Which is far more noble than doing it for God. If she had not issued the ultimatum, and you had not tasted what it was like not having contact with her, would you have had the incentive to stop? From your post it seems not.

Frankly, this saddens me more than anything. For several reasons.

1) it is NOT more noble than doing it for God. I don't know where your theology lies, but I believe that it is NOT more noble to do it for a girl. God is supreme, and things should be done for His glory.

2) If she had not issued the ultimatum, i might still be back there. BUT, I believe God used her to break me of the habit. I most likely would've kept hiding it for a long time, until it finally either wiped out my conscience or there was some other wake-up call. I knew it was wrong, but didn't have the will to make myself stop. I tried by myself. I couldn't. I needed the external assistance she provided to point me to God. Because i believe she was God's figurative slap in the face to wake me up

3) it is not even remotely CLOSE to your place to assume that I did this simply for a girl. When I'm saying that the only way that I can stay clean and free is through God, then there is hardly any basis for saying i did it "to get the girl." I find things like that rude. It's not intrusive, but a bit rude. Assuming can do bad things.

I don't know where I'd be without God's influence in my life. Probably not where I am now.

Meh, at first glance that would seem like a legitimate issue, but once you give it some thought, I don't really think so. I believe God does a whole lot of work through other people. So while it might seem as though God didn't orchestrate this, he actually did. Some people can stop looking at porn simply through the power of God, but some people need a more concrete reason. It isn't the absence of God, its just him working through different means.

^^Thank you!

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Why should your girlfriend not have the power to influence you in the very way you speak about God? Why must it have been God and not her? I do not understand why you take away from her accomplishments.

And alot of other people Waltina, stop looking at porn by simply not looking at it.

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Why should your girlfriend not have the power to influence you in the very way you speak about God? Why must it have been God and not her? I do not understand why you take away from her accomplishments.

And alot of other people Waltina, stop looking at porn by simply not looking at it.

Should we not do things for God? To come closer to God? She did a great thing, she kept him accountable and that's awesome. But without God at the base of this relationship, I don't think it would have all turned out this way. Tell me if I'm wrong.

As for the last part: If only it was that easy.

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