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i have had no contact with my biological father in about 9 years. He was always drunk and abusive, and showed no real compassion for me, his son. when given the opportunity, he signed away all of his legal rights over me. The other day while on the internet i accidentally stumbled across his account on the site wordmachinist.com. this is his actual profile page http://www.wordmachinist.com/apps/profile/44870116/ It would appear that he had turned Pagan about a year or two after i did. I am wondering what i should do now that i have found him. Do any of you have any ideas?

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Well the question is. Do you want to contact him or don't you?

or perhaps you want to contact him but are apprehensive about it. None of us know your father so we cannot conceive what his possible reactions might be, you will know him better than any of us so use your best judgment in how to go about this.

If it were me, and I didn't want to contact him, I'd just forget about it. But if I did want to contact him, I'd do it in a very subtle way so as to reveal my being his son later as opposed to immediately contacting him. Like I would join that site and kind of get a feel for his temperament and demeanor before I told him who I was. Or maybe I would drop some oddly coincidental hints as to who I was and let him figure the rest out, so I could avoid the awkwardness of flat out telling him I'm his son.

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well my i joined about a year after he did coincidentally, then i stumbled across him ( http://www.wordmachinist.com/apps/profile/63466103/info/ my profile). i want to contact him, and i already figured subtlety to be the most appropriate way to do it, but i dont know how i would go about doing that. he seems like a fellow pagan (as far as he knows though im catholic) but more of a Buddhist-Wiccan path, except he believes in the death penalty for rapists, etc. also he has done about every drug imaginable and has been recovering for about 5 years. he tells every single one of his friends that he has one daughter and no other children. he has lots of friends on the site, some of which are his friends in real life. i feel that if i were to reveal to him that i was his son, no matter how subtle, it may ruin his relationships with his friends, which would be bad. but i really want to be able to contact him again. So yeah, i guess what i'm really asking is "How do i tell my father i am his son and give him a second chance, without making him angry, or upset and result in him losing his friends?" does that make sense?

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Sounds like he doesn't want to get into anything regarding a son. However, if you feel called to get in contact with him send a private message. Of course the cynic and obnoxious jerkface in me would proceed to post it in public for all his online friends to read if he reacts in an obnoxious manner.

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