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{FEMALES ONLY!} Immodest Dressing

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Does any one have a story or experience or something else that will help me with my book on how dressing inappropriatly or immodestly can get one into trouble with a male (sexually)

Thanks :clap:

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Males get themselves into trouble when they lust over immodestly dressed females. However, I find that males don't respect me very much when I have dressed immodestly. Males have higher sex drives than females and are more likely to objectify females who dress immodestly. That's the most reliable information I can give you, it comes from my own experiences as a female.

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If a woman gets in 'trouble' with a male sexually (I assume you mean sexual assault and/or rape), no matter what she is wearing, it is the male's fault. Sexual desire can be difficult to control, but it not -that- difficult. It is the responsibility of everyone, male and female, to control the way their sexual desire expresses itself. Moreover, rape is less likely to be the result of desire and more likely to be linked up with a desire for control and aggression (not that these things are always mutually exclusive with sexual desire). Males do NOT have a higher sex drive than females, most of the apparent differences come from the fact that the female sex drive peak occurs later in life than the male one, and because of social conditioning. If males do not respect you when you are wearing less modest clothing, it is them that need education and correction, not you. Equally, however, no-one should feel that they have to dress immodestly to gain male approval if they do not wish to do so. It's time we stopped looking at male sexuality as something predatory and dangerous, as this does nothing to help anyone.

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Get you "in trouble" with a male? That's almost as bad as saying that whenever a girl gets pregnant, she should have kept her legs closed. I hate to break it to you girls, but FEMALES have desires too. I once read this thing about how "guys are microwaves, and girls are crockpots." The logic was that since we usually tend to "warm up slower", we were the ones that need to stop sex from happening. I find that insulting to men. I don't think that men would like to be told they are these sex-crazed animals that just can't help themselves (boys will be boys?) and I hate being told that I'm supposed to hate sex and think it's icky. I don't. I agree with Jesht. Male sexuality is nothing dangerous or predatory, and female sexuality is nothing more than little twinges we might have that say, "Meh, sex wouldn't be too bad."

Actually, it's been proven that females are just as "visually driven" as males are. Anyways, that's my two cents. I don't think that dressing in a certain way is going to get you "in trouble with males" sexually, that's just silly. However, dressing in a way that demands respect and shows quite clearly that you're not up to just have sex with anyone who comes along is probably a good idea if that is what you wish to convey.

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While I have no personal stories I do have two friends (they are guys) who have problems with lust. I know this isn't uncommon for guys. It is up to the guy not to think/do immoral things but I also think that girls shouldn't tempt them by dressing immodestly. When we put on clothes, we should think about what type of image we are presenting.

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I personally don't believe that the way you dress is overly important, also, the ruling on what is or isn't modest differs from person to person greatly. I will be the first person to say that I do not dress overly conservatively most of the time, I am a fan of things which hug my figure and so on, so be free to take my opinion as a baised one if you wish to. Yes, I have encountered very nasty situations with males in the past, but however, on these occasions I have not been dressed in a way which is particularly evocative, maybe a dress and small heels but not much more. I believe that it is more about where you are going than what way you are dressing. If you go to a nightclub - you are going to get hit on. It's a fact of life. However, wearing say a skirt and crop top around the town? It's unlikely that anything will happen to you. Maybe the odd wolf whistle, but that's nothing to get overly upset about.

God bless :) <3

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I guess I'll be the outcast here and say that immodesty can tempt guys to the point that say or do things they maybe wouldn't have if you weren't dressed "sexy or fine". Heres a video that really helped me see how guys think.

One quote in there said that even showing your stomach just a bit can cause guys to think impurely about you. We shouldn't want to encourage that. Yet we want them to find us sexy. I sometimes wish we all realized that we drive them crazy no matter what we wear.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVMZoZoKT-o

Honestly I don't want to tempt a guy like that. They have feelings too. Theres a quote somewhere that says "A girl should be so lost in God that a boy must go through him to find her." Isn't that amazing? I know its hard to do and I constantly try to get the attention of the other sex. Its in our nature, However God placed the responsibility on us not to play with a man's affections or mind by the way we are dressed.

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Well, guys are quite scary :P. Some of them, anyways.

My mom said that this older (not seventy years old but old for me) guy was staring my my butt, and she said she wished she could have punched him in the face. Why didn't she? >.< Well, I don't believe in violence, but she could have at least defended me. I wasn't even wearing inmodest clothing! I was wearing kiddish jeans that I've had since seventh grade and a coat. Ugggh. The jeans weren't even tight or anything! I felt so violated and vulnerable after that.

A scarier time, though, was when I was on vacation. I was going to the fitness room by myself, thinking it'd be safe, but no!!! This guy I don't even know asks to have sex! I guess I wasn't dressed right or something. I don't know. I never really thought my clothing was that inmodest, though, unless that's due to society. It's not like I had a complete slutfest going on! I felt a bad vibe from him when he first stepped into the room. When he asked me, I ran up to my room and didn't go to the fitness room again! Now if I go back to that hotel or maybe even any hotel, I don't know if I'll be able to go to the fitness room myself again. Moments like these make me feel so vulnerable. Really, I'm not even good-looking! Ugh.

When I lived at my old apartment, I used to have fears of pervy men. I don't even know why. Maybe I just no longer felt safe there anymore after thinking about some of the scum that used to live around there...

That's my rant.

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Well, yeah, some guys can be utter *insert bad word not allowed to be used on these forums* and I can understand why that would make you feel vulnerable, definitely. But you're 17 - they probably behaved that way towards you because a) they were horny and B) you were attractive, not because of the clothes you were wearing but because you're beautiful. But you shouldn't have to feel intimidated! Stand up for yourself! If a guy is looking at you in a way you don't like, turn around to him, look him right in the eye, and say 'Excuse me?' Or just ignore it and keep walking. Don't let it get to you. x

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Well, yeah, some guys can be utter *insert bad word not allowed to be used on these forums* and I can understand why that would make you feel vulnerable, definitely. But you're 17 - they probably behaved that way towards you because a) they were horny and B) you were attractive, not because of the clothes you were wearing but because you're beautiful. But you shouldn't have to feel intimidated! Stand up for yourself! If a guy is looking at you in a way you don't like, turn around to him, look him right in the eye, and say 'Excuse me?' Or just ignore it and keep walking. Don't let it get to you. x

^this. x345870592745097

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This weekend, I was at the mall with Aaron and I needed to fix something on my bag so I squatted down and set my bag on the floor to fix it...

Aaron was like, umm.. Do you have to be down like that?

I told him yes, because the weight of my bag would have contradicted what I was doing.

He said, Okay, it just gave those guys walking by a pretty good look..

(May be slightly misquoted. This was a few days ago.)

..........................................................................................

But, it was interesting to me. I felt bad actually, for making him feel... protective? because of what I was wearing.

(In my defense, I wear a triple D so it's hard to find tops that don't give guys a good look. Lol)

It gave me something to think about though. I hadn't had a guy react like that before...

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Okay, well, I attract creepy men like a magnet, I swear if I didn't know any better I would think it was my spiritual gift...

It just makes me think, how much worse would it be if I dressed immodestly?

I guess it's like when I girl walks into church wearing a super low v-neck, and really short shorts or whatever, all the guys look at her. You can actually see them all night fighting the urge to look at her.

It's just so mean and selfish to cause that kinda of temptation and pain to guys who are really trying to be what God calls them to be... you know?

a book that might help you with your book, or even find resources for your book is a Christian teen girls guide to guys called For Young Women Only ...

http://www.shaunti.com/BooksStudies/ForYoungWomenOnly/tabid/140/Default.aspx

The website has surveys they asked guys and thier responses and alot of helpful info you might like :)

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I've always been told to dress modestly so the idea of dressing immodestly when I wasn't under my parent's supervision was enormously appealing to me. Anytime I'd go out with my friends, I'd be wearing super short shorts underneath whatever I had on so I could feel "less Amish" around my friends.

When I came to know Christ, I still struggled with wanting to feel fashionable and pretty, but yet looking pure and modest at the same time. It wasn't until a friend of mine spoke up that I started WANTING to dress modestly.

We were talking about a new fad (I think it was jeggings) and he said: "Why do girls wear stuff like that? Cuz it does cause us to stumble. It's like kicking dirt in our face."

His words, coupled with wanting to please my Creator, are what made me want to dress cute but yet also totally modest!

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No woman can dress her self in any way to force a man to do anything. If a man does something inappropriate, it's his fault, not yours no matter what you're wearing. Men do have control over themselves, and it is their responsibility to exercise control. The same goes both ways.

Many women view dressing immodesty as a form of expression, power, and sign of self esteem. The human body of both men and women are beautiful. I wouldn't make a huge deal out of how much clothes a person wears.

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No woman can dress her self in any way to force a man to do anything. If a man does something inappropriate, it's his fault, not yours no matter what you're wearing. Men do have control over themselves, and it is their responsibility to exercise control. The same goes both ways.

Many women view dressing immodesty as a form of expression, power, and sign of self esteem. The human body of both men and women are beautiful. I wouldn't make a huge deal out of how much clothes a person wears.

Thank you. ;D

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Good point Rainbow. Honestly, I've had guys honk at me, try to talk to me BOTH times where I would be wearing a skirt or fully dressed. I do agree with modest dressing...however guys are responsible too. There are men out there whose hobby is to chase after all kinds of girls or women regardless of what they're wearing (of course many of them assume that a girl dressed in tight-fitting, short clothes is easy).

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Dressing immodestly can cause men to lust and therefore sin; clearly we don't want this to happen, even more so since the cause of this sin is the immodest presentation of ourselves.

The problem I have, however, is making a connection between 'immodest dressing' and 'getting into trouble with a male sexually'. My interpretation (which make be wrong) is that you feel dressing immodestly a woman is somehow causing or asking for sexual relations with a man. I assume by this you mean instances such as sex and/or rape, but the mere suggestion that a woman somehow causes or asks for it is insulting, it suggests that a woman could prevent cases such as rape with is not the case.

It is never the victims fault, (male or female) that they were raped; it is the perpetrator of the crime who is at fault driven by whatever desires they could not control. (desires which usually have more to do with dominance and control than sex)

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