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saylorman

almost married

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Before I became a christian, I was a "typical" non-christian guy. Some called me a "playa." I was only into pretty girls, flirted with all of them, and just wanted to get in their pants. Then I became a christian. I struggled with the issue of sex and girls and christianity but still continued to have sex with my current "christian" girlfriend. We went off to college together and broke up due to various reasons. I started seeing my best buddy's cousin, a truly beautiful (inside and out) woman, a true disciple of Jesus. We made a purity promise to each other and to God and now we're happily engaged. Lately, I've been struggling with the sex thing again. We are getting married in 7 months and every day it gets harder and harder to wait. Sometimes I just want to try to convince her that it's alright because we're getting married anyway. But I know if she broke that purity promise, it would break her heart. And that's what stops me from getting her to do it most of the time. I love her so much, if her heart would break, mine would also. But it just keeps getting harder and harder...and harder...Any tips or suggestions to get me through the next 7 months?

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One of the reasons that traditional engagements were so short was, not just for the simple reason that the couple couldn't wait to finally get married but one of the other reasons is sexual temptation. Typical engagements were 3 months. The best thing to do is get Biblical pre-marriage counseling from a pastor and continue to seek God daily. "Cast your care upon Him for He cares for you."

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What is coming to me is that you have creates a rod for your own back. In your mind you have this idea that sex is for your pleasure whether you are married or not; whether you are a christian or not instead of it being something that is pure and and God given exclusively to a man and a woman who are committed to each other for life.

What does the scripture say about your mind....

Rom 12:2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, in order to prove by you what is that good and pleasing and perfect will of God.

Here renewing means "renovation". To avoid being conformed to the world where sex is a recreational activity, you have to do a renovation job on your mind. Make something in a state of disrepair new again. This is the path of transformation and a renewed mind. If you don't control your mind, you won't control you sex urges.

Php 2:5 For let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, and took upon Himself the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men.

Php 2:12 Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, cultivate your own salvation with fear and trembling.

Cultivate means to work out which means putting your brain into gear which you don't do if you are ignoring the word of God. Note that Jesus made himself of no reputation. Like him, you have no right to anything other than that which is approved by the word of God.

The girl who you broke up with is now second hand goods for whoever she marries and a piece of advice which is logical to me. Don't ever be in a room or a house on your own because you are opening the door to temptation.

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But it just keeps getting harder and harder...and harder...

I bet it does! :naughty:

Serious suggestion: hang out with the Palmer twins more often.

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Shorten the engagement. Or, if that won't work, just go sign the necessary legal documents now and keep the date of the actual ceremony.

---------- Post added at 09:15 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:38 PM ----------

Also, I don't think it's a bad thing at all that you want to have sex with here. I would be much more concerned if you didn't.

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