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'Opposites Attract' or 'Birds of a Feather'?

Personality & Relationships...  

21 members have voted

  1. 1. Personality & Relationships...

    • Birds of a Feather Flock Together
      15
    • Opposites Attract
      6


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(This goes for love relationships & friendships...)

Do you generally think that we are attracted to those who share similar interests and perspectives as we do? Or do we often tend to gravitate towards those who are very different from ourselves?

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With friends there is no doubt that 'birds of feather flock together'

but i think this is less true for more personal relationship, cann be either way.

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With friends, it's for sure "birds of a feather"

With relationships, what initially attracts you may be similarities or differences, but really you need some of both to keep the relationship strong.

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All of my friends and I are almost polar opposites. O.o I hang out with all these violent,crazy,outgoing spit fires,and while i'm friendly,I'm nowhere near as crazy as they are. We have stuff in kind mind you,but we're not birds of a feather... I'm more like an eagle and my best friend is more of a fire breathing dragon. :blink:

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Uh....I think it's a good combination of both. :3 For example, my boyfriend and I like the same kinds of things. We have the same general taste in music, movies, video games, and basic happy fun times. It makes it easy to go do something fun together because we both enjoy doing the same things.

However, our personalities are polar opposite. I'm adventurous, he's cautious. I'm loud and outspoken, he's incredibly introverted. He's a referee...I'm an instigator. XD

So, the way we handle things and our personalities are totally different, so we don't clash, but our interests are the same so we can enjoy hanging out together.

Make sense?

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Uh....I think it's a good combination of both. :3 For example, my boyfriend and I like the same kinds of things. We have the same general taste in music, movies, video games, and basic happy fun times. It makes it easy to go do something fun together because we both enjoy doing the same things.

However, our personalities are polar opposite. I'm adventurous, he's cautious. I'm loud and outspoken, he's incredibly introverted. He's a referee...I'm an instigator. XD

So, the way we handle things and our personalities are totally different, so we don't clash, but our interests are the same so we can enjoy hanging out together.

Make sense?

tl;dr - Similarities are good, but the differences should compliment each other.

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As many have said, I'd say its both.

Thinking about my two closest friends, were all incredibly different. We've got the jock, the dancer and the awkward-kid-that-rights-fantasy-novels-and-loves-horses (me haha). We handle problems differently, we hang out with different sorts of people and we approach are faith in very different ways. At the same time though, we all share a love for God, are Catholic and help each other out with our spiritual journey. I feel like it has to be a combination of both, if my friends were exactly the same as me it just wouldn't work. I get annoyed with people like me to quickly. >_<

The same goes for a significant other, I like things the same but different. I like a guy to have similar values to me, and enjoy doing some of the things I like to do (I'm an avid hiker and a nature nut so weeather he likes it or not he's going camping lol) but at the same time I WANT a guy to be able to have his own friends that I don't neccisarly feel inclined to hang out with, and I really want him to be more outgoing and 'brave' around people than I am. I'm a terribly anxious person in social situations, and like having someone to build off of lol.

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I tend to like people who are like me. Then we have something in common to talk about.

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I do believe it is both. not through any personal experience...

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Opposites definitely do attract to some extent but I'm much much happier with people who are similar to me and I've seen that a lot. The guys I'm usually interested in

are the opposite of me but eventually I see how things are going total fail as there's often some differences involved that causes conflict one way or another,it being either a big or small issue. Recently however I've fallen madly in love with my one close guy friend who is as similar to me as can get and for the first time I'm totally comfortable and at ease cause I know he understands me and vica versa. Opposites do make life more exciting for sure but for the long term, I'l say birds of a feather.

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I've been giving this some thought...

I think with friends, we generally want to be around people that are like us and share the same interests/perspectives.

When it comes to romantic relationships, aren't we naturally attracted to those who are different from us because it's somewhat 'exciting'? And not only that but it might 'complete' us in a way? They may have strengths that we don't, and vice versa, so we're able to help each other along... But then again we may dislike the differences later on down the road. But, could you spend the rest of your life with someone who is so much like you?

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it's both, obviously.

what brings people together really is destiny. there's a resonance of souls that can't be explained by shared interests or even balancing each others' personalities out or w/e.

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When it comes to romantic relationships, aren't we naturally attracted to those who are different from us because it's somewhat 'exciting'? And not only that but it might 'complete' us in a way? They may have strengths that we don't, and vice versa, so we're able to help each other along... But then again we may dislike the differences later on down the road. But, could you spend the rest of your life with someone who is so much like you?

This was my husband's and I's story. We've been down a rollercoaster of oppositions and sameness over the years. What initially began "as exciting" drove both of us nuts a bit into our marriage. As we've mellowed with older age, we have matured into complimenting each other quite nicely. This is because the Holy Spirit has been grooming us through these life experiences. Our largest growth phase of holiness has been within the past 5 years in our mid-life as more childish and self centered pursuits have faded.

Once we were finally taught, and more importantly accepted the call, to assist getting each other into heaven, the entire focus of our relationship changed for the better to one of more sacrificial love. This "sameness" forced our oppositions to meld away.

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