Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
elyza

Undesired Attention of Guys

Recommended Posts

Girls, how do you react if a guy (whom you're not attracted to) somehow makes you feel that he might be pursuing a relationship with you but you're not sure if that's the case. Like, if he suddenly writes you messages all the time although you've not shown special interest in him in any way.

Basically, he's showing you that he likes you more than just friends/ is interested in more but you are not absolutely sure. Anyways, you are not interested in anything like this. What do you do?

Do you ignore him?

Do you react differently, depending on if he is a Christian or a non-Christian?

Do you continue to act in a friendly way with him?

Do you directly tell him that you don't have special feelings for him although he hasn't mentioned it directly?

Do you feel good or bad about it (him complimenting you or giving hints that he likes you)?

Any experiences that might be hepful?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is a very good thread. :)

Well in my personal experience for the one time this has ever happened...well here's how it went. He just was honest and told me he liked me after we had been texting as friends for a while (we've gone to church together for years). Considering this never happens I was kind of flattered to have a guy feel this way about me, but I didn't feel anything the same for him. I told him that and he respected it (at first) but still liked me.

Then later at a weekend camping trip with the youth group, he started being kind of inappropriate (and frankly immature) about it and refused to respect the way I felt. He didn't do a lot of things but he did make me uncomfortable with some of his comments, one being about sex, and then I lost all respect for him and decided to just ignore him. I even confronted him on the sex comment telling him it was inappropriate and I wouldn't tolerate it. He still did one more thing to embarrass himself further though. Since there were a lot of those little prickly stickers everywhere, he put like seven of them on his hand in a row, came up to me, showed me his hand, and asked me to fix it. 9.9 Yeahhh I was embarrassed for him. I was in the middle of talking to a friend too and just told him no and ignored him. Since then he didn't do anything else to embarrass me or him and now doesn't like me at all anymore. So now we're just friends and I don't ignore him anymore.

Had he handled the situation better I would have been more friendly, because I have been on the other end of this situation, and the boy I liked was still very sweet to me, so I felt I should do the same. But then he just disrespected me so I didn't feed his emotions and just encouraged him to not like me (without saying it).

Soo yeah that's my story. XD Anyone else?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

very very good thread,

well i have had this.. but i just ignored it but was still friends with the guy. and we still are today. but if he would have every said anything about it to me frankly, then i would have told him some thing along the lines of "look you are my friend, more of a brother in a way. but i dont want a relationship with you. i just want to be your friend."

hehe but my brother has a story like this, he realllllyyyy like this girl. for YEARS he liked he, still does i believe. and she and everyone else knows this. but she made it very plain of her feelings for him, and now she is still nice to him, but does not go out of her way for him. just because i think she is still uncomfortable about it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A friend of mine back in elementary school liked me--well, according to my friends. He was a little awkward around me but I still remained his friend. I guess my situation was a little bit easier to handle because my friend never confessed his feelings to me nor did he ever try to push anything on me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It depends on the guy, really. Generally I just try really hard to not lead them on and I kinda make up excuses when they ask to hang out or something. I lost like 3 friends to this throughout high school though so I should probably figure out a better technique. Not that many guys like me anyway.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ah! So glad you have this thread!

I never want to assume that a guy is just interested. I worry that I'll be ruining a potential friendship if I do. But I also hate to think that I'm leading someone on. Basically I'll try to drop hints throughout our conversations. And make it clear that I'm not into him in that sense.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I generally mention my boyfriend. Or if you don't have a boyfriend, talk about a guy you're into, by talking about a characteristic of his that the particular person giving too much attention DOES NOT have xD

Like: The guy who likes you too much eats meat. Tell him the guy you like doesn't eat meat. But make sure it's true.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've come to trust my intuition on this a lot- since it's been right many times. I really do think we women have some sort of sense for this. Anyway, I never mention it, I just try to be subtle and watch my actions to make sure I don't do anything to lead him on, like laugh too much at his jokes or sit near him or look his way unnecessarily :) If all else fails, I throw find a way to throw out that comment, "Wow, I am so glad I am single. I've got so much more to focus on." I'm tacktful about it, lol, of course.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'll tell the person directly. It's just plain distasteful to ignore the person in my opinion. I once had a big crush on a guy and he found out I liked him and he just flat out ignored me. I didn't know where I stood and it ended up hurting way more than when he actually told me we're better off as friends. So I'll never stand to do that to someone. I treat Christian and non-Christians with equal respect so it doesn't matter to me and has nothing to do with how I'l l turn them down.I feel kinda bad especially when in the moment and you have to see their face fall and go all saddy sad. But then I remind myself that that's how it works and you can't be with someone you're not into. That's just unfair towards the guy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Speaking from personal experience (though it hasn't happened too many times... Lol)

Do you ignore him?
No. I feel that's rude.
Do you react differently, depending on if he is a Christian or a non-Christian?
They've always been Christian, so I can't answer that.
Do you continue to act in a friendly way with him?
Yeah... It's hard not to because I'm generally a friendly person.
Do you directly tell him that you don't have special feelings for him although he hasn't mentioned it directly?
I couldn't do that. It would be SO awkward.
Do you feel good or bad about it (him complimenting you or giving hints that he likes you)?
Yeah.

Just be strictly 'friends' and try not to play along and give him false ideas that you're interested, too.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There was a boy at my school who kept asking me out and trying to hug me in public.

I didn't know how to deal with it so I tried to be nice to him and at the same time keep away from him. I told him I didn't like him.

He somehow got a hold of my number and txted me at least 2x every day telling me how much he loved me.

Then I found out he watched porn and he also started txting me "dirty" txts. I txt him a regrettablly mean txt.... which upset him for a week only.

He found out where I lived. After He visited one day, I told my Mum. She found it very funny but she told me to delete him on Facebook, keep away from him at school and try and be nice to him.

That HAS NOT worked. He stalks me around school. I am still trying to figure out a plan of getting rid of him without being mean :P

No solution!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
There was a boy at my school who kept asking me out and trying to hug me in public.

I didn't know how to deal with it so I tried to be nice to him and at the same time keep away from him. I told him I didn't like him.

He somehow got a hold of my number and txted me at least 2x every day telling me how much he loved me.

Then I found out he watched porn and he also started txting me "dirty" txts. I txt him a regrettablly mean txt.... which upset him for a week only.

He found out where I lived. After He visited one day, I told my Mum. She found it very funny but she told me to delete him on Facebook, keep away from him at school and try and be nice to him.

That HAS NOT worked. He stalks me around school. I am still trying to figure out a plan of getting rid of him without being mean :P

No solution!

Errr I would probably end up being slightly mean in that situation. Not mean per se, but upfront about it. That sounds like borderline harassment.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well I soo in this situation right now.

He's a very good Christian guy. Like a brother to me in some ways. I really didn't figure out that he was flirting with me till this last summer. Throwin ice down my back and talking about relationships and stuff really didn't sink in till a complete stranger told me that he was "Checking me out".

A few days later...we were watching fireworks with a bunch of teenagers, and he tried to hold my hand....:blink: Yea I ended up moving my hand. he never actually has said he likes me...but He's made it more than clear.

I haven't told him anything yet but my plan is to tell him about what people have told me. Around five people have told me now that he likes me. I'm going to tell him that and then say that I'm not sure that is true, But if is that, I'm sorry if I led him on in any way. And that I would like to continue to be just friends. I'm not ready for a relationship. And that if its not true...could we please completely forget the conversation. :)

I haven't seen him in a few weeks but last time he tried to talk to me, I enden up having to leave an he didn't get to say what he wanted to. So I've realized I have to stop it now.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

ok well, i have been in a situation like this, unfortunately, more than once...so far, the guy who's the most....into me has been this kid at my school. let's call him....BJ. poor BJ. he says he loves me, but he sorta creeps me out.

1. did i ignore him? well, sorta. he started sitting at our table at lunch, even though i had told him again and again that i had no feelings for him (in a nice way). but i tried not to talk to him.

2. i'm not sure...they've all been Christian.

3. i try to be kinda distant, but still friendly.

4. when he says something, i don't respond and hope he'll take the hint.

5. it feels nice to have someone tell you that you're pretty, but it become a usual thing. like, yes, i know you think i'm pretty, even though i look horrible....now you can go away. i never say this, of course

it's weird :P

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sign in to follow this  

×