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ksqt0509

Waiting on God's Time... totally stinks

55 posts in this topic

I am 18, and never had a boyfriend/ relationship. I feel so ready for one, so I am having a hard time figuring out why in the world God is taking forever. (lol)

I mean, I have been asked out, but I just KNEW beyond the shadow of a doubt those weren't the kind of guys I wanted to date.

I am waiting on God, and it is tough. Not just because I want someone to cuddle with during a scary movie, or ride rides with at six flags, or hug when I am having a bad day (But all those things would be a plus :) )... I want someone to talk to, read the bible with, grow more in God with.

I really want a "relationship", not just for the physical aspect. I like the idea of having someone to depend on, and call.

Plus, not having one makes me feel lonely, and slightly loserish. (Try going to six flags and ALL your friends bring dates, and pretty much every ride seats two. Yeah, fun!)

Waiting is so hard! So, why's God taking his sweet time (haha)... is there something I need to do? Is there some milestone I need to pass in order to get the greenlight for a boyfriend?

I mean Paul (I'm pretty sure) wrote to use the time your single to get closer to God, and I am trying, but I want a boyfriend! lol.

Anyone been there? Any thoughts?

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I'm 20 and I'm in the same boat(no one's ever asked me out though.) Waiting is reeeeeaaaallllly hard.

God's timing is not ours. Sometimes we're in the right place spiritually/emotionally and we're just in no position to meet men. Or it could be that we're in the right place,but we have emotional problems or some such like. However,you have to remember that boys are people too and perhaps your other half isn't ready for YOU yet. :) No one is perfect and perhaps God's working on a flaw of your potential boyfriend's while you're waiting.

And don't fee like a loser! You're not! This is where having single friends is handy,they'll ride rides with you. (If you don't have any,make some. They're very encouraging.)

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There's nothing wrong with waiting. But also, if there's a guy you really like, don't wait for him to ask you out. Ask him out!

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I can 100% relate. There's someone I have been admiring for a while now (10 long annoying months :P) And us, being girls, have to wait for the guy to ask us, unfortunately we cant take charge and just go ask someone out. And the guys that show interest are NOT what we want. I actually typed out a list of all the things I want in a guy and if he doesn't meet the criteria, oh well! Haha

I wish God would just give that guy a little push. Lol

And I know that I'm not a loser and you should too, but I can totally relate to that feeling, when all your friends are busy bc they have a date or something. Yeah. Singleness can be good, but also boring. :P

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I can 100% relate. There's someone I have been admiring for a while now (10 long annoying months :P) And us, being girls, have to wait for the guy to ask us, unfortunately we cant take charge and just go ask someone out. And the guys that show interest are NOT what we want. I actually typed out a list of all the things I want in a guy and if he doesn't meet the criteria, oh well! Haha

I wish God would just give that guy a little push. Lol

And I know that I'm not a loser and you should too, but I can totally relate to that feeling, when all your friends are busy bc they have a date or something. Yeah. Singleness can be good, but also boring. :P

Who lied to you?

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It would feel totally wierd to me to initiate a relationship... I kinda feel like it's the guys job, you know the whole take charge whatever aspect.

Not saying that if I did find the right guy I wouldn't try and get something going...

But I honestly can't see myself "asking him out" or whatever.

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It would feel totally wierd to me to initiate a relationship... I kinda feel like it's the guys job, you know the whole take charge whatever aspect.

Not saying that if I did find the right guy I wouldn't try and get something going...

But I honestly can't see myself "asking him out" or whatever.

The thing is though though, alot of men, aren't good at reading 'signs'. You don't want to get to the point where the only way he 'gets' what you're implying is if you burn your name into his lawn and hold his cat for ransom (not that i'm saying it wouldn't work or anything).

If you see a guy you really like, it's best to seize it while you can. Sure it may feel awkward but it's better than always waiting for him to pop the question and it never happening.

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Yeah I'm kinda in that position too. The only guy that has ever asked me out was definitely not for me, and I'm so glad I said no at the time. There's only ever been two guys that I've been properly interested in, and there was always a reason why it could never happen (probably partly due to my shyness) :P It does get me down sometimes, but I don't worry about it too much, because I've got my whole life ahead of me for that. And in the meantime I'm still enjoying having a good time with friends, and my relationship with God.

If you try to rush God, or do your own thing, that's where it goes wrong. So think about how awesome it will be when you meet that guy that God has put aside for you because you were patient.

So don't think about it as waiting. It's an ongoing journey, and you don't have to wait for a guy to come into your life to be happy and fulfil what God has planned for you :)

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Well clearly that is a personal failing that you will have to work on.

.. So if he likes eggplant I should make an effort to like it as well?

Note: I love eggplant. =D

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I can relate, I've been feeling the same way lately (I'm 16 and a senior in hs)! I mean I've only had 2 guys that I've ever liked, but God was telling me one wasn't right for me (He wouldn't let me have classes w/him or get a chance to talk to him, probably a sign); now the second one, he actually liked me back, but unfortunately he likes a few (like 2) others more. ); So now I'm back to square 1. It's hard sometimes, but just think; God knows what He's doing, and even if you're ready it doesn't necessarily mean the other person is.

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It would feel totally wierd to me to initiate a relationship... I kinda feel like it's the guys job, you know the whole take charge whatever aspect.

Not saying that if I did find the right guy I wouldn't try and get something going...

But I honestly can't see myself "asking him out" or whatever.

You don't even have to "ask him out", be a friend to him and then ask something along the lines of "hey,I wanna keep in touch. got a facebook /email/what's your phone number?" If he says no,then just wait six months and ask again. There's no harm in asking for an email address,even if he's not the metaphorical "one". . :)

If I can get on a more buddy-buddy basis with my crush,I'll sure as heck ask him for his number. >=3

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You don't even have to "ask him out", be a friend to him and then ask something along the lines of "hey,I wanna keep in touch. got a facebook /email/what's your phone number?" If he says no,then just wait six months and ask again. There's no harm in asking for an email address,even if he's not the metaphorical "one". . :)

If I can get on a more buddy-buddy basis with my crush,I'll sure as heck ask him for his number. >=3

Yeah, I get what your saying. Making yourself available to talk to and a friend and stuff to guys you like. Ny mom told me to get guys to like you you have to put the Vibe out there... Lol. Plant the idea in thier heads. Haha. Isn't sad when your parents WANT you to date? Lol

Unfortunately there are currently no guys in ny youth group my age... I guess ill hold out for college nd see who god leads me to meet there. A lot of new possibilities :)

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A retail job is a good place to meet people too. :)

What do you mean "not your age" ? Slightly older, a year older,younger? o.o I've never been in a youth group that did not have guys in the 15-18 range. Albeit I do not advise falling for a 15 year old male as they're more likely to be in love with their xbox than anyone else. :P If they're younger,you can still try to befriend them. Good people skills practice.

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Hahaha! I know exactly what you feel like! I'm turning 22 in about a month and I've only ever dated one guy (for 9 months senior year of high school, so 4 years ago?) and before that nothing and after that... nothing :( When I started dating my first bf I prayed for him. Almost literally. I gave God my checklist every night for all of Junior year and had my sights set on my bf best friend (before my bf and I got together), and then I found out once the relationship got going that he (my bf) fit every part of that checklist exactly as I wanted (except for physical looks, which didn't matter a whole lot because my bf was good lookin' just not dark haired like I had envisioned in my head). And then he chose not to be with me anymore. It was a messy break up and took a long time to get over, but since then I've been on one date with one guy and then he moved away. And praying for a new bf isn't working as well as it did last time lol. Your parents want you to date? Mine do too. Almost every time I go home, my dad "casually" brings up marriage and dating relationship stories and advise (all the time trying not to sound too pushy but still I feel like he's obsessed with getting my brother and I to be more romantically minded). College hasn't really helped me find a guy, but idk. I don't really have any advise for ya, because I'm in the same boat for the most part. I don't think God has just one person in mind for us to marry though, so I don't think it's reasonable to just pray and sit around feeling lonely all the time without doing anything about it. But I also do not advise doing anything to get a date, because it's usually not as much fun if you're really not interested in the person or if the person is pushing you to do stuff you don't want to.

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What do you mean "not your age" ? Slightly older, a year older,younger?

Like honestly, my youth group tends to have mostly girls, the guys in there are 15 and younger. One 16 but he's good friend and dating one of the girls in the youth group, haha. Yeah, I really just don't see myself falling hard for any of the guys in my youth group. We have a pretty small church too, so like 15 or so is a good night in youth.

Hahaha! I know exactly what you feel like! I'm turning 22 in about a month and I've only ever dated one guy (for 9 months senior year of high school, so 4 years ago?) and before that nothing and after that... nothing :( When I started dating my first bf I prayed for him. Almost literally. I gave God my checklist every night for all of Junior year and had my sights set on my bf best friend (before my bf and I got together), and then I found out once the relationship got going that he (my bf) fit every part of that checklist exactly as I wanted (except for physical looks, which didn't matter a whole lot because my bf was good lookin' just not dark haired like I had envisioned in my head). And then he chose not to be with me anymore. It was a messy break up and took a long time to get over, but since then I've been on one date with one guy and then he moved away. And praying for a new bf isn't working as well as it did last time lol. Your parents want you to date? Mine do too. Almost every time I go home, my dad "casually" brings up marriage and dating relationship stories and advise (all the time trying not to sound too pushy but still I feel like he's obsessed with getting my brother and I to be more romantically minded). College hasn't really helped me find a guy, but idk. I don't really have any advise for ya, because I'm in the same boat for the most part. I don't think God has just one person in mind for us to marry though, so I don't think it's reasonable to just pray and sit around feeling lonely all the time without doing anything about it. But I also do not advise doing anything to get a date, because it's usually not as much fun if you're really not interested in the person or if the person is pushing you to do stuff you don't want to.

Not gonna lie, I wish you had said, "College is ammazing and you'll meet a ton of new prospects!" haha.

Ugh, yes. Whenever my dad thinks he finds "a guy" for me, it's insanity. One time, I caught him emailing a guy that had just moved that had been our worship leader about him dating me, a year older than me. I wanted to strangle him! lol.

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Oh goodness, I wish my parents were excited about trying to get me to marry... right now I've been with a guy for around 2 years and it's headed that direction eventually, you have no idea how many lectures I have had about how I need to "play the field" or "date around" >.<

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I relapsed. Lol.

I've had a really awful day and I really want a boyfriend right now... Lol. I'm semi-depressed, not like suicide, but like... Where-is-the-ice-cream sad.... Lol

Ugh.

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Ugh, yes. Whenever my dad thinks he finds "a guy" for me, it's insanity. One time, I caught him emailing a guy that had just moved that had been our worship leader about him dating me, a year older than me. I wanted to strangle him! lol.

Haha, my parents are the same (though thankfully they haven't sent any embarrassing emails... yet.) We're going to a new church now and every time after I meet a guy, they nudge me and say "So, what about ___? Do you like him? Ooh, you're blushing, you must like him!" :blink:

I feel like I'm in the same situation as you - I'm 18 and I've never had a boyfriend and I really wonder why - I'm a friendly person and I'm not terrible looking :laugh:

There's one guy I'm interested in at church, but I really feel God telling me to wait on his His timing and not try make things happen on my own. This guy is hardly what I imagined my future husband to be, but so much more, too... I don't know if he's the one I'm waiting for, but I know I need to trust that God knows what he's doing. :)

"Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." Song of Solomon 2:7

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haha yep i am exactly where you are! and I agree with you when you say that waiting stinks. When I was younger I thought I was completely ready for a relationship, but as time went on I realized I didn't even know what I was looking for in a relationship or what my standards were. I've had time to think about dating and relationships and I have a better Idea of what I'm looking for. For me though, I think I still need to find out who I am as a person and a Christian. I'm 17 turning 18 in a few months and I definitely don't fully understand who I am yet. God will put things in action when he knows I'm in the right place.

Although it does suck when you're the only one out of your friends who is single. I just have to remember that God wants the best for me and there is some great guy out there preparing himself for me...and there's a great guy out there for you as well...and we just have to be patient because when it does happen it's going to be epic. I know it'll be worth the wait!;)

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...and there's a great guy out there for you as well...and we just have to be patient because when it does happen it's going to be epic. I know it'll be worth the wait!;)

Sorry to be depressing but its always a question at the back of my mind: what if no1 comes along and i hold out for years waiting for God to bring me a man and he doesn't..

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You know sometimes I feel the same. Sometimes I wonder if God wants me to be single for the rest of my life because honestly it tends to feel like that's how it's going to be. But I try to stay positive and you have to remember that having a guy in your life isn't the most important thing in the world. Besides, the love God has for us is greater than what any guy could give.

But you just gotta keep your head up. If the wait is long and God does have someone for you then you'll realize that it was worth the wait because I guarantee he'll be the greatest man out there for you.

God knows when you're ready to take on that kind of relationship...and maybe it isn't you. Maybe he's waiting for your future husband to be in the place he needs to be. All you can do is pray for him and the relationship. But I'll pray for you as well:smile:

Hope this helps

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