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Country Girl

How do you deal with depression?

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(Please forgive me if this isn't in the right place...)

I have struggled with depression on and off since I was about 11 years old. It first started off as a crippling fear of death and dying. I was afraid of dying...I was afraid that I was just going to stop breathing one night and I can distinctly remember having a really bad panic attack on the night before my 12th birthday.

I was able to overcome that with the help of my mom and God of course but it came back again when I was ready to turn 13.

This was the worst battle with depression I have ever had. I had a hard time getting out of bed and a really hard time going to school or doing anything out in public. I cried everyday, I felt like I was in my own little lonely world and that nobody could understand what I was going through. I would sometimes get so overwhelmed with frustration of not understanding why I was going through this that I would just go outside and scream at the world, at God.

I was also afraid of pretty much everything.

When I say pretty much everything, that includes God, Heaven, Hell, the Rapture, how long forever is ( it just goes on and on and on...) and pretty much everything there is to do with Christianity. I refused to read the Bible, to listen to Christian music, to go to Church (although my mother forced me...and I'm so glad she did), to pray. I wouldn't do anything I thought would remind me of my fears. I tried to just mask them, to cram them in a corner of my mind hoping that, eventually, they would go away.

It took me a year to finally overcome this and I only did it with my mom's help and God's. My mom (and God) was so patient with me...sometimes I would go back to being a 3-year-old having tantrums when I would get fed up with the black cloud hanging over my head. And I wasn't exactly a party to be around the rest of the time either.

Now I feel like some of that depression is trying to creep back into my life again and I am trying really hard to stop it. I went to a funeral recently and that threw me back into the afraid-of-death-and-heaven-and-how-long-forever-is mindset. I have good moments where I feel completely normal and I can laugh and have fun but then (usually when I am alone or it's only my mom and I at home) the black cloud comes back and I'm sweating with fear and crying. (I'm not bi-polar...this just happens when this depression hangs around)

I know it's the devil trying to turn me from God cause that's exactly what I feel like doing when this weighs down on me. I sometimes think "Christianity is too scary and too complex for me. I want to quit." but I usually don't let that kind of thinking last long. I know God will never give up on me so therefor, I can't give up on him.

It's kind of hard to do though because being afraid of God kind of creates a catch 22 if you will. The solution--reading my Bible, going to Church, and praying-- is part of the problem.

So I guess the moral of the story is how do you guys deal with depression? How do you get rid of that stupid black cloud that is oh-so-determined to hang over your head? (Yes, I guess I really did have to tell that whole story just to ask one question. lol I feel better having gotten it out though. So thanks for letting me vent! :) )

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I think it's easy to fall into the trap of developing depression over religion. This has happened to me before and also cause it seemed way to complex for me but after a while you realize that it's what you make of it. You can choose to make religion a complex thing or a easy enjoyable journey. If Church is weighing you down then you need to find a different Church where it builds you up instead, and when reading the Bible and it becoming complicated you need to make sure you are interpreting things right because the Bible can be a scary book but sometimes you need to put it in perspective and the only way of doing that is by discussing the things that bother you with someone who has knowledge on the matter. And you're right it is the devil that tries to do this but you should pray to God that He will take the devil away from you and help you fight him. God will do this. But you must not stop working on your relationship with God. This is exactly what the devil wants. You should become stronger and stronger in Christ and during times when it's hard praying is really the most important because that's your direct helpline. Personally speaking, I have Bipolar and going on medication is what pretty much keeps me going and helps me physically, but mentally God is what helps me as well. And whenever I feel a black cloud coming over me I keep it away by doing and practicing positive things. I call up friends, I spend time in the sun reading happy books and I watch happy movies that lift my spirit. It's easy to depress yourself further when already being depressed cause every sad song or bad incident makes it worse therefor you need to take extra special care of yourself when you feel depression creeping up. Positive thoughts and positive actions is what I was taught in therapy. But ultimately God is really the only healer that will make everything better but I encourage you to never stop praying and remember to pray for protection. I felt rather silly in the past about praying for that but it actually works. That's how I resist temptations as well, by praying to keep the devil away. xxxx

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I feel for you! I am not sure that i have anything to help, I have struggled with deppresion alot in my life..I dif type then yours,,,I am not afraid of death i embrace it i am afraid of life....I wish i had something to tell you to help, someway to cope but my ways of coping are def not good, So i guess i am in the same boat with trying to figure it out except i think i've givin up trying to figure it out...anyway just know that i am thinking about you and i really hope you can get some help dealing with this!

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Stay strong and never doubt your bond with God. Stay occupied with hobbies and socialize with positive people to keep your mind from wandering into negativity. Influence of God and Lucifer will always be a constant battle within you and only you have the strength and will to choose your faith. Never doubt what you believe in God no matter how sour situations might become it is your responsibility to to know which direction to go. No regrets

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Thank you for the replies, I really appreciate them. :)

I'm trying really hard not to let this get me down and I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I just have to stay strong to get there. And keep praying!

Thanks again for your replies and encouragement. I will be able to come back here and read these when the going gets tough for a little confidence boost. :)

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Happy pills. :) Anti-depressants were how I fought depression. I struggled with depression for about three years when I was an older teenager and it was only when I went on medication that I got on top of it. I don't mean to sound rude, but have you ever considered getting some counseling for your depression? The reason I say this is because, from the way you describe it, your depression is linked to (or caused by) fear. Cognitive behavioral therapy (a fancy term for getting you to think positively and avoid unhealthy behaviors) can work wonders with cases like this.

Also, press into God. Remember that nothing can separate you from the love of God (Romans 8:38-39). As hard as it can be, you need to read your Bible and pray. Also, it's great that you have such a supportive mum; her support will be a major factor in helping you. Believe me, nothings worse than fighting depression alone.

Lastly, if you ever need someone to talk to about depression, or want advice, feel free to PM me. I've learnt a thing or two about fighting depression over the years.

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Pray. Talk to God. Jesus can heal you. .. God is able. Seek him. talk to yourself, Encourage yourself. compliment yourself, make funny faces, tell a corny joke, listen to UPLIFTING music . Also Psalm 103 is great for when you have a broken spirit, Think about all that God has done for you.

Hope this helps Sis!

God bless

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Happy pills. :) Anti-depressants were how I fought depression. I struggled with depression for about three years when I was an older teenager and it was only when I went on medication that I got on top of it. I don't mean to sound rude, but have you ever considered getting some counseling for your depression? The reason I say this is because, from the way you describe it, your depression is linked to (or caused by) fear. Cognitive behavioral therapy (a fancy term for getting you to think positively and avoid unhealthy behaviors) can work wonders with cases like this.

Also, press into God. Remember that nothing can separate you from the love of God (Romans 8:38-39). As hard as it can be, you need to read your Bible and pray. Also, it's great that you have such a supportive mum; her support will be a major factor in helping you. Believe me, nothings worse than fighting depression alone.

Basically, this guy gives good advice :)

I'm on medication, of which a side effect is the possibility of depression. While I haven't experienced that, I have experienced, over the past 5 months, that I feel unhappy more easily, or things affect me more. I have a friend who gives amazing advice, doesn't judge, and, while always being there, doesn't let the problems we talk about affect the way we behave with one another at other times. He's been a rock to me for a long time. If you have someone like that (possibly your mum), who you trust, talking stuff out always makes you feel better. Often it's not that I need someone to tell me what to do, but talking about a problem helps me work out what to do myself (if that makes sense) :)

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hi! I remind myself that its a spiritual battle...and God is for me NOT against me.God has Not given us a spirit of fear but of love and A SOUND MIND!I think we should see him as our best friend,he just wants whats best.I literally say: devil i refuse to let you ruin my life...i will have an abundant life in the name of Jesus! I shall praise the Lord all the days of my life...for he loves me :) hope this helps-will pray for you!

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