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Cadence62

Verses about Purity

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Hi, Ineed to have a conversation with my boyfriend about purity and explain to him that saving myself for my future husband is about more than just virginity, so does anyone have any verses I can share with him?

Also, I know this is in a section specifically about the Bible, but if anyone has any advice about my situation, it would be VERY welcome. What happened is this:

First of all, I made a very bad decision this past March, egged on by my dorm-mates at my boarding school to date a guy who wasn't a Christian. Part of me knew I shouldn't, but I liked the attention I was getting, and I was really flattered by how muh this guy liked me, so I went through with it, and agreed to date him, justifying it to myself with the idea of missionary dating, or at least that Romans 8:28 (all things work for the good of those who love Him) meant that it was okay. In our relationship, he has always been a total Gentleman, holding doors, carrying my hings, always insisting to pay for everything... (I didn't let him pay for Prom, though, because part of me has always known that this was a mistake to date a non-Christian, and the expense of that would make me far more indebted to him than is okay. Tuesday night was my school's Prom, and while I had strict rules for myself about relationship-y displays of affection (no kissing until I was in love, and nothing beyond making out until marriage), my boundaries in the area of dancing were not nearly so well thouht-out. I knew that grinding (for those of you don't know, this is a clothed sexual act that passes for dancing at most high-school dances) was completely out of the question, but I had thought slow-dancing would be okay, because "its just hugging amd moving about the dance floor." However, I failed to realize just how extended that hug would be. We started out with a few inches between us, but as the night went on, he kept pulling me closer, and my adapted version of the rule "save room for Jesus" (never adapt a rule; bad things always happen from even a few inches of compromise) which was "save room for a cardboard cut-out of Jesus" (which I had changed because typical summer-camp "save room for Jesus" dancing looked ridiculous) was slowly dissipated as well, leaving me dancing pressed up against this guy I liked, but wasn't sure if I should be doing this with. We didn't dance the entire time we were there, but we danced a lot, and I was becoming more and more uncomfortable with it, and was really releived when it came time to change and go to the parent-sponsored after-prom party at Dave & Busters. However, after after-prom, I went to a co-ed (but sex & alcohol free) sleepover at my friend's house, and we all went in the pool. I wore an atheletic one-peice, fo modesty's sake, and he was wearing swim-trunks and a t-shirt into the pool, and it was really fun at first, because enen though the water was cold, we all decided to swim in one direction (it was a circular pool) and create a whirl pool. This was fun, until a bunch of people left, and then it was just my boyfriend, me, and one other friend. Then, he left too, and the last person who had been outside but not swimming left, saying, "We'll let you two have your couple time". I was kind of scared, but I didn't do anything, besause I had just been making fun of my friend as a wimp for getting out of the pool. After everyone had left, he wanted to "dance" again in the whirlpool. However, the whirlpool kept dragging my face to the surface of the pool, so I was able to keep saying tha it wasn't working. Then, he found a way that "worked", and while we were travelling in circles around the pool, I was thinking about how I was finally outof my own control, except that the one who was in control wasn't God's match for me, that He had sonething much better planned, and that I shouldn't be doing that, and that all of his (my boyfriend's) sweetness had one ultimate goal, and I got really freaked out, so I said that I was cold and we went inside. Afterwards, I became even more uncomfortable when I realized that even though my bathing suit was modest in appearance, it was still skin-tight, and so his arm was still around my waist in skin-tight clothing. Finally, after having to think about it all day yesterday, I decided to sleep at 6pm (after 31 hours awake) and achieve the distance and clear-headedness a good night's sleep can provide. This morning, I woke up, and after thinking about it, I realized the thing to do. I'm pretty sure he'll be at my school's graduation (we're juniors), so I will talk to him then about purity and how important it is to me, and leave it in God's hand what happens next. I think he will probably either be a jerk and break up with me for wanting to wait for marriage, in which case, I won't have to feel bad about breaking his heart, be really nice, and suggest that we just be friends for a while and see if we fall in love, or maybe leave it up to me, in which case, I will say we can keep dating if we take away the physical component and instead work on getting to know each other better. Any thoughts?

A note to the moderators: If you do move this, please don't put it in a Women's only section, because I would like advice on this topic from the male perspective as well.

A note to Madame, who I assume is ready to make a snarky comment on this post about how silly my purity standards are: I know you porbably can't respect my ideas about purity, but hopefully you can respect this: I felt uncomfortable, and therefore, it is not okay, no matter what you think about purity and Christians dating non-beleivers.

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I have only had 1 girlfriend, and never have been in a physical relatoinship (hugging was the extent), but I do know that once I'm in a relationship, if my girlfriend doesn't feel comfortable about something thats not my family or faith, then I need to stop. That's part of caring, loving, and being a gentlemen. If your girlfriend says "I'm not comfortable with this" then you should back off. You should never not care if your making ANYONE uncomfortable, especially someone like significant other. I think that all relationships should be built around respect, and without respect, you cant have a healthy relationship. So I don't have any verses to share with you, I do know that If this boy cares about you, he will respect this, and back off. Then you can work on trying to convert him.

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For starters. MADAME CAPITAIN has been banned or she left. How long it's been? No clue. But she's not around much lately. I think you're safe.

I HIGHLY suggest you take this purity stance not between just your and your boyfriend, but let your folks in on it too, and your boyfriends folks, and heck, get your youth pastor in on your idea.

Parents like it when their smart kids own up to being smart and using common sense. :3

As for this boyfriend, if he dumps you for your beliefs, well, you picked the wrong guy, and God has a better one in mind for you. (Plus this just shows how dumb this boy actually is)

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If he dumps you for not wanting to have sex before marriage---then obviously he doesnt have respect for you and you can find someone better who respects your wishes. But its better to lay down the law and be like..yo...no sex, then to have one of those moments where you could regret it.

On a side note-- I SO GIGGLED at the save room for a cardboard jesus quote..

That just really creeps me out. >.>

Makes me think of the christian side hug.

Ugh

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You're absolutely right. Stand up for your beliefs. Never let a guy push you into anything.

God had the story of your life written before he even created the universe! So trust God and make your stand for Him!

God Bless!

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