Spanking

[T.O.W.R.]

After reading things here and there I have been really wanting to ask this Question. Parents spanking their children. Good or Bad?

I honestly think that spanking is 100% acceptable and should be used more often than it is. Think about it. What is a child going to remember? A firm swat on the butt or a rediculous count to three?

If a child burns his hand on an oven he will think "Ouch! That hurt. I won't do that again." So its the same concept as if a child sneaks to get his candy bar when his mother told him "no" and he gets a swat, than he would socialize the pain with getting a candy bar when he was told not to.

I'm not supporting child abuse, there are limits to spanking but a firm swat on the rear is of no harm to the child.

[Christopherjr]

I actually don't want to reply to this post in the Debate room, simply because I know people have strong feelings about this topic. However, I personally feel spanking is completely acceptable. I've seen first hand too many children who were only given time outs and turned into disrespectful, disobedient brats. I don't mean to say that parents who don't spank are inadequate nor that children who aren't spanked will, without exception, turn into unruly kids. I'm not even saying that all children who are spanked will be good children, I just mean to say that I support it as a form of discipline.

Also, there is a definitive line between spanking and child abuse.

[Nicene Nerd]

I'm with you two. Most of the best people I know were spanked consistently as children. I was a terrible toddler, but with adequate spanking when I was little (and occasionally later), they haven't had to worry much about my behavior in years.

[Talek]

I think that spanking is a perfectly acceptable form of discipline, providing it is used correctly. The majority of arguments that I see people make against spanking children usually devolve into fallacious claims of harming the child's psychological development and warping their view of violence as a solution. While I won't deny that spanking, when used incorrectly or gratuitously, will most likely have these effects, I think it's pretty obvious where the line between sound disciplinary response and child abuse lies.

[PittsburghJake]

I agree with everything that you three have already said. I think it is acceptable as long as it isn't overdone. I am growing up in a mostly christian household (everyone but my dad), and i was spanked alot growing up, probably more by my mom. And I got smacked across the face alot as a child by my mom, but i see no harm. I agree with the comment about more times than not, those who aren't spanked have more of a chance of growing up and becoming a spoiled brat than those who are.

[Radical Edward]

As a child who's been spanked a grand total of once, and who has siblings who haven't been spanked, I can tell you that you don't need to smack your kids around or spank them to get them to behave. You don't need to spank them for them to be good kids. Heck, I was psychotic when a kid (threw tantrums in the middle of kindergarten), but I grew out of it without getting spanked or smacked, and I'm waaaaay better than my cousins, who grew up in a heavy spanking household. Seems like it's just giving into your anger. I see absolutely no reason to hit a child anywhere, the rear or the face or anywhere. They're kids. They're crazy. They're testing the limits, but that doesn't mean you need to smack them. Firmness and discipline aren't synonymous with physical violence of any kind, even kinds that are socially accepted, like spanking. There are literally a million other things you can do. Put them in the corner, send them to their room, throw water on them if they're really freaking out. My parents laughed when I threw tantrums, and in hindsight, it really clued me in on how ridiculous I was acting. And the thought of my parents spanking me now just makes me feel... I don't know. Small. Scared even. It's bad enough when they get angry enough to yell. I can't imagine getting hit. Maybe it's just late, but it honestly makes me feel an inch from crying just thinking about it.

It's not like I haven't been around ornery kids. My grandma is a babysitter and she takes care of some pretty wild kids. And she's a spanker. And whenever I see her spank a kid and make them cry, it just doesn't sit well in my stomach. I mean, it just seems unnecessary; like you're giving in to that temptation you get when you're angry.

[Max Power]

If a child burns his hand on an oven he will think "Ouch! That hurt. I won't do that again." So its the same concept as if a child sneaks to get his candy bar when his mother told him "no" and he gets a swat, than he would socialize the pain with getting a candy bar when he was told not to.

In the moment, yes he will associate pain with disobeying his parents. Until he forgets about it, which won't be long. What will persist however, is the attitude that violence is an acceptable means to get what you want.

Everyone needs to read this article: The Case Against Spanking

So yeah, don't hit your children. If they do something bad, sit down and talk. Simple as that, explain why what they did was wrong, answer their questions, make it a learning opportunity.

[Christopherjr]

I can tell you that you don't need to smack your kids around or spank them to get them to behave.

Don't equate the two, that's a vulgar simplification.

If they do something bad, sit down and talk. Simple as that, explain why what they did was wrong, answer their questions, make it a learning opportunity.

If done right, spanking will incorporate this. In fact, I'd wager to say that a spanking without an explanation of what they did wrong, and a reassurance that what you did was out of love and not anger, is ineffective.

If you spank out of anger, I'd say don't spank at all. If you are angry when you want to spank them, wait until you have calmed down. Spanking can be done civilly, it doesn't have to be done in a reckless rage.

[Ocean]

Meh. It seems like a poor method of discipline. I never had it done to me, so I certainly won't be doing it to my children.

[HaleyGirl16]

I whole heartedly agree with spanking. I grew up gettin my tail end tore up when I didn't mind. I'd never advocate child abuse, I've never been abused, and I've never even thought that being spanked was abuse. It's perfectly acceptable and Biblically mandated that you spank your kids.

http://www.bible.com/bibleanswers_result.php?id=153

Parents need to spank there children. Parents should discipline there children. Parents should not beat there children, and there is a major difference in beating your child and spanking. Spanking shouldn't be done in anger, and if you are so mad that you will use more force than necessary you should wait. You should also give yourself and the child time to cool down, and then take time to explain and talk to your child. Both are needed and both are Biblically mandated for the raising of a child in a Godly fashion.

I also believe that spanking should be done with a rod (hickory, belt, fly swat, i've even been spanked with a flip flop) but not your hand. Reason, you are stronger than a child, and the Bible doesn't say to hit them. It says to strike them with a rod not your hand. And on the butt (way I see it is God put all that extra padding there for a reason) not on the face or the arms or torso or where have you.

[IDLibrarian]

I don't have time to read through all the replies, so this may be repetitive; sorry.

Anyway, I think that spanking is not a magic cure-all for bad behaviour, nor is it brutal child abuse. Children are people, people are all different from one another, and no one method of discipline will work on every child. For my younger sister, it took a firm swat for her to change her ways. For me, a chastisement was just as good. For my youngest sister, grounding has been the way to go.

And I may be biased, but I think we've all turned out fine.

[T.O.W.R.]

I agree with what Kristen said. Every child functions differently so differnt disciplines are needed.

[HaleyGirl16]

Closed per request of OP

[Zabby]

I've archived the spam on this thread. TOWR, if you want it reopened, just PM a mod and they'll take extra care to keep this topic clear of spam.

[HaleyGirl16]

And we're reopened

[Girl who likes mini stuff]

ok i think that a child should not be spanked after the age of 9 or it may just make them mad at there parents but thats just what i think:bored:

[kb5462]

I was smacked probably a maximum of 5 times in childhood, and have heard my father shout 4 times (bearing in mind this is in 17 years of being alive). My parents consider losing your temper to be vulgar and so tried to avoid at all costs smacking either me or my brother. I learnt the lesson fast that despite the fact that he very rarely shouts or resorts to physical action, my dad is not someone to cross. Good discipline does not necessarily have to involve physical violence.

That being said, I realise that smacking is appropriate only at one point - as a last resort. When all methods to calm a child, to explain to them their misdeed and to patch up the argument or upset have been exhausted, then I think smacking can be used. I don't think I'd use it on my child, but I certainly don't consider people to be bad parents if they use smacking as a last resort every once in a while. I don't really think that smacking every time a child does something wrong is appropriate, but again, I think it falls to the parents to make the executive decision.

[Katblossom]

I think it all depends on the child. It CAN have negative effects (As I think all of you have said) I don't think it should be used for everything. I have seen a mother hit her child for hitting their sibling. You need to be care full what you are actually getting across, "bad behavior" is a very broad category.

For example My elder sister was spanked, and the reaction to that could not of been worse. She became violent with myself and my sister whenever she thought we were out of line. Even now her perspective of the world is warped at best. While I'm not saying its all physical punishments fault it was definatley the wrong thing to do with a child like her. I cant really blame my parents to be fair they were very young first time parents and it was the social norm. You need to be very clear how you explain afterwards as to WHY and keep in mind small children only remember about the last three words of every sentence. Its easy to make a mistake, physical punishment is a powerful and effective tool but it can also be quite damaging if used incorrectly.

In the same way if you do not use physical discipline you need to be Vigilant with time outs ect. Otherwise there is no point at all. Your effort can crumble within a week if you do not stick to it.

[Jahsmun]

I don't think a child should be spnked. I agree that it is helpful and may straighten the child out.However I do also know that some parents spanking leads to more violent things to do to their child.Some parents just take it a littletoo far so to protect children,I disagree with spanking.

[Girl who likes mini stuff]

i think that parents that spank there kids are wrong I think its wrong and i will not spank my kids

[Precious]

Ultimately it should be left up to the parents.. Unless parents are using it in a completely abusive manner, let them do what they think is best for their kids.

[opalecent]

I have thought about this a lot and decided that spanking is only to be done with very young children, and as a last resort. Once a kid gets to the age they can start to reason and perceive others' viewpoints (they don't reach that age until about 5-7 and if you don't believe me read yourself some Piaget) spankings should become scarce if ever used at all. When used, they should always be accompanied with gentle, loving, yet stern words, and NEVER done in haste or anger. Preferably give the kid a time out to think about what they did beforehand, so you can have time to cool off if you're angry too.

What I think should NEVER be done, however, is that little elbow pinch in public. Not for the physical pain part, but the "I have no clue what I'm doing wrong and you just pinched me in front of everyone I want to impress and I STILL don't know what I did to displease you" aspect.

My mom did THAT up til I was 15 or so. Ugh.

[MoonAndStars]

I think that spanking is a perfectly acceptable form of discipline, providing it is used correctly. The majority of arguments that I see people make against spanking children usually devolve into fallacious claims of harming the child's psychological development and warping their view of violence as a solution. While I won't deny that spanking, when used incorrectly or gratuitously, will most likely have these effects, I think it's pretty obvious where the line between sound disciplinary response and child abuse lies.

^^This, perfectly.

[Max Power]

So does anyone have any valid evidence to back up their claims that hitting your kids is okay.

[PittsburghJake]

So does anyone have any valid evidence to back up their claims that hitting your kids is okay.

Well I'm sorry to tell you that no one will have " valid evidence" to back up something that is opinionated. I think it is acceptable if it's not abuse and is reasonable. Don't make it sound like you hate your kids because you hit them. It's a form of acceptable punishment. There's your " valid evidence"