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Kissing- should it wait for marriage?

Kissing before marriage- okay or not?  

83 members have voted

  1. 1. Kissing before marriage- okay or not?

    • I think it's fine :)
      52
    • I think it should wait.
      10
    • Depends on the couple.
      21


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wow, reading this whole thread has seriously expanded my mind. maybe i live in too liberal of an area but i don't think i have any friends or know anyone who is waiting til marriage/engagement for their first kiss. even my friends who are lovely christians and great people. like i have actually never had a conversation about this before hahaha. but honestly, i just want to say how much i admire all you girls who are committed to saving their first kiss/french kisses til marriage. that is awesome and a really cool thing to do!!

i have been with my boyfriend for about 17 months, we started dating senior year of high school. he is my first boyfriend, kiss, etc. i had never even been on a date before him haha. things moved pretty fast with us, physically. i was the naive good girl and didn't know the slightest thing about a kiss, and he had a history of being in the whole partying and hooking up scene (but he is a virgin). so basically, he knew what he was doing. this is personal but i'm sharing for the sake of the topic and my testimony haha. the only boundary we really had was: no sex. after a few months, i started having feelings of guilt and confusion about us. i talked to him about not doing any type of sexual activity at all and he agreed, but i knew he didn't really understand. at this point, he believed in God but didn't really have a relationship with him. from the beginning, i had (and still do) been praying for him everyday because God was important to me and i felt like i had made a mistake getting into a relationship with someone who was not on the same page as me spiritually (a big no-no!). i prayed and i prayed, but something kept me in the relationship. for about a year, we struggled with the physical aspect of our relationship. i gave into human nature a lot. but then my boyfriend had a dream which, let's just say scared him haha. he called me up and said he wanted to learn more about God and asked if i would help him study the bible. and that's where his walk with Christ began! he quit watching porn and masturbation and cursing, and we started to actually work together with Christ towards moving away from sexual temptation.

ever since then, he has been growing more and more closer to God and he's probably even stronger in his faith than i am now haha. every day, God is revealing more and more to him that i have been praying about for months. even though i had feelings of regret a year ago, i can now say this relationship was in God's plan because it did play a role in bringing him to Christ. i'm only 19, he's only my first boyfriend, but i really see myself marrying this guy solely because i see how much love and passion he has for God.

how this relates to the topic. looking back, i have gone pretty far with my boyfriend physically. and i have to say i wish that wasn't the case. i wish i had set stronger boundaries like you girls and i truly admire those who are waiting. trust me, saving yourself completely, even a kiss, for the man you marry is going to be so so so wonderful :) now that me and my boyfriend have gone a bit far, it's been a hundred times harder trying to go backwards and fix it. but with Christ, i know we can do it. i admire you guys a lot!! this is gonna be an interesting conversation to have with my boyfriend tonight haha :)

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I said wait simply because I didn't. And I regret it.

I have very low self esteem and I gave my first kiss away to a guy who ended up sexually and physically abusing me. It brings me to tears now knowing I didn't save ny first kiss, but I'm definitely saving my next one. For my engagement

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There's and older, married Christian advice columnist called Theophilus from Boundless.org online magazine who pretty much says: Sex isn't that hard. You have all the time to get it right after you're married. There's no reason you can't learn to please each other better over time if you're committed and you feel attraction.

I kind of feel that way with the kissing. I'm not sure I believe it's wrong, but I do know I don't think it'll negatively impact your marriage if you wait till your wedding day. You're wedding kiss might not be Hollywood-worthy. But who cares? Ya'll have the rest of your lives to work on it.

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I am 16 and never kissed a boy but if I had a boyfriend and he never kissed me, I would seriously wonder what is wrong with me.

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I am 16 and never kissed a boy but if I had a boyfriend and he never kissed me, I would seriously wonder what is wrong with me.

Maybe he has halitosis?

There's nothing wrong with being kissed. There's nothing wrong with NOT being kissed.

...however,r there is something wrong with eating your kissing partner's face off. Ish... that video. STOPPIT.

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...however,r there is something wrong with eating your kissing partner's face off. Ish... that video. STOPPIT.

I've seen B-Movie shark films where they go at the face with less vigor XD Still it was a bit sweet in a 'look through the fingers' sort of way.

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I've seen B-Movie shark films where they go at the face with less vigor XD Still it was a bit sweet in a 'look through the fingers' sort of way.

We love B movies.

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My first kiss was kind of interesting. My best girl friends boyfriend was my best guy friend at the time. He and I had gone to a concert for After The Well(A Christian band) and he kissed me there. I had no idea it was going to happen, but it did.

Anyway, I was 13. :o Quite young. I would've waited long had I had the chance

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I've tried Katie... But I don't get your post XD Is this a royal 'we' m'haps?

*Katy (seriously, dude, I will win this war... XD)

Yeah, a lil bit of the royal 'we'. But, in all honesty, who doesn't love B movies?!

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IT. IS. ON.....

KATARINA.

xD I know this is totally off topic but do yourself a favour and watch every single Ed Wood film ever. Master of the B movie. "She's dead... Murdered.... And somebody's responsible!"

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IT. IS. ON.....

KATARINA.

Even that's more acceptable than Katie. Bring it.

xD I know this is totally off topic but do yourself a favour and watch every single Ed Wood film ever. Master of the B movie. "She's dead... Murdered.... And somebody's responsible!"

Watch the movie Mothra. It's a true favourite.

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Kissing should not wait until marriage unless you are looking for friendship instead of love. There is nothing wrong with just being friends.

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Can romantic love not occur without kissing?
I believe it can. However, coming from someone who has had their first kiss, I believe it's perfectly acceptable. There's a difference between kissing and having sex, I believe. (obviously, but let me go on)

Kissing doesn't come with as much attachment as sex does. Our brains don't send little "must stick with this guy!!!" messages over a kiss.

I do wish my first kiss was different. I wish my first of a lot of things were different....

But we all make mistakes and I don't regret anything because it has made me who I am.

Kiss away girly. Just be wary that kissing can lead to sooo much more.

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I saw something somewhere (sorry, can't remember where) that posted 'guidelines'. It went something like:

DATING: holding hands.

GOING STEADY: kissing.

ENGAGED: tongue-kissing.

MARRIED: sex.

I personally think there shouldn't really be such strict rules and it depends on the couple! I've had my first kiss and it didn't really seem like that much of a big deal to me. :)

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I saw something somewhere (sorry, can't remember where) that posted 'guidelines'. It went something like:

DATING: holding hands.

GOING STEADY: kissing.

ENGAGED: tongue-kissing.

MARRIED: sex.

I personally think there shouldn't really be such strict rules and it depends on the couple! I've had my first kiss and it didn't really seem like that much of a big deal to me. :)

Question - what's the difference between dating and going steady? I get so confused by all the terminology that changes from country to country -_-

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Question - what's the difference between dating and going steady? I get so confused by all the terminology that changes from country to country -_-

Perhaps the person is trying to say going on dates would be the initial stages of the relationship (think dinner and a movie). Going steady most likely means being committed to being in a relationship and enjoying its benefits :).

Let me just say something from experience, though. When you start kissing on the first few dates, the tongue-kissing will introduce itself to the scene without much hesitation. You'll see :woot:.

To everyone else, thou must remain pure and never do anything you wouldn't do in front of your parents! :woot:

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Yeah, I think that's pretty much it - what Mark said. Although I have no expertise on this matter. :laugh:

In Australia we don't say 'going steady', people are just dating or...not.

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Does anyone use the phrasing 'going steady' anymore?

I always thought of the term belonging to an era when 'dating' meant seeing someone but not exclusively (50's ish) and 'going steady' meant exclusivity. *shrugs* Like when my grandmother tells me to 'date' multiple guys at once and I have to remember that she's using it in a different context.

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Does anyone use the phrasing 'going steady' anymore?

I always thought of the term belonging to an era when 'dating' meant seeing someone but not exclusively (50's ish) and 'going steady' meant exclusivity. *shrugs* Like when my grandmother tells me to 'date' multiple guys at once and I have to remember that she's using it in a different context.

I always thought "going steady" was for middle school kids...

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I view matters such at this to be totally up to the couple. Like my best friend Mal always says, to each their own. As for me, I see kissing as perfectly acceptable, however, others may not, and that's totally fine! I will be honest when I say that I didn't have my first kiss until 17, and have only kissed two boys in my life, both of which were boyfriends. I have french kissed, as well, and I don't see anything wrong with it as long as you can limit yourself and have boundaries set, like I did. If you have boundaries set, and the boy knows of them and can respect them, then what's the problem?

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I had a bad experience at 22 where my first kiss was drunk with a guy I'd just met--I don't count that. I stopped before we had sex and he was gentleman enough to not force the issue. I believe there's forgiveness for that mistake.

My "real" first kiss was with my now-husband. I was 27. It was when he asked me to marry him. It was a romantic non-tongue kiss. We'd agreed while dating that kissing would wait until we were engaged. Our first tongue-kiss was at the altar on our wedding day.

That said, we were so careful to put guidelines around kissing that we didn't put guidelines around other things. We had full body contact (clothed, but still...), he saw me in a cami and short shorts on numerous occasions, There was neck-kissing and ear-nibbling. We both got more aroused than we should have while dating. We did remain sexually pure until the wedding, but there were things that we could have done to make sure the temptation was less. I think a lot of times the focus is on to kiss or not to kiss and not on maintaining purity in all areas.

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