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Jeremy

Girls in general are confusing. This one is baffling. Help me. asdfghjkl

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So I'll try to get to the point as quick as possible. I was really creative when I first typed this - made lyrics to fit the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song. Then I lost internet... Sorry, but it will be boring and to the point now.

Met a girl last year in my chem class (First year back in public school by the way). We became friends pretty quickly, we'd always be each other's lab partners, and we started sitting next to each other. We exchanged numbers and texted each other every so often. We were great friends but lately, I don't know. She'd "stop" getting my texts and I'd be left hanging for hours until I asked her if she got it. Then she stopped responding to those, and now she doesn't respond at all.

What's really confusing me though, is that she'll start a conversation with me and she never replies back to me. I'm not a horrible conversationalist at all, so I'm lost. As much as I want to believe it, I find it hard to believe she's the only one who doesn't get my texts. And just a few days ago she posted on FB telling me she missed me, I responded but she never said anything back.

Another thing I'm so annoyed and confused about is this. We made plans to go to the movies a few months ago, and we went but she invited her friend who invited another friend, who in turn invited their friend. So I was just sort of the odd man out. We were at a party and she mentioned to one of her friends that she went with them, and I "decided to tag along." I was so ****** about that really.

I guess what I'm trying to ask for here is some advice to find out what I did wrong (if anything)/make up for it (if I did) without looking desperate or clingy. She's an awesome friend and I don't want to lose that, but I honestly have no clue what to do about her sometimes.

*le sigh*

I'm tired so if you need to know more to help me out here, feel free to ask.

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Ok, so my friend (female) will text me and say hi or whatever, I'll respond and then - nothing. She doesn't text back at all, that's it. Ocassionally she'll wait a few hours but then she'll just stop then.

And then, she asked me to lunch, I said sure, and we set a date. I asked her to see if we were still going to the day before and she never responded to me - I figured I wait to ask her in person at lunch but she never showed (she was there today) up so I just ate lunch with my regular group.

I'm completely lost.

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I mean, in my experience, some people are just like that. They're just flighty and are bad at keeping plans and stuff. It's not like she's doing some sort of secret girl flirting technique or anything, if that's what you're wondering.

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I mean, in my experience, some people are just like that. They're just flighty and are bad at keeping plans and stuff. It's not like she's doing some sort of secret girl flirting technique or anything, if that's what you're wondering.

Honestly I have no clue why she's acting like this. It just started somewhat recently, we've done stuff before and she used to always text back within a few minutes. As far as I know I haven't made her mad or anything, I'm pretty careful in what I say.

I guess I really should have asked how to go about figuring out what's up right now, and why's she suddenly acting this way?

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Why not just ask her?

Anyway, one reason could be that she doesn't know why you're texting her. Are you just being friendly? Are you attracted to her? Since you want to know what she's thinking, it sounds like you are. IF you are, I think you just just make it clear. What's wrong with saying,

"Hey, I kind of like you/think you're cute. Wanna have lunch?"

It's more honest. If she puts you in the friend zone, then at least you tried. Stay in the friend zone until because while your there, she may decide that she likes you after all.

Also you said, "we've done stuff before." What kind of stuff? And ya'll are still keeping up this 'friendship' thing? If ya'll have done stuff, maybe she feels you should've let her know how you feel by now. Again, I have no idea, and so you should just ask. But if you expect her to be honest then you should put your cards out on the table as well. People used to say that would be the honorable thing to do, and I believe in that.

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Honestly I have no clue why she's acting like this. It just started somewhat recently, we've done stuff before and she used to always text back within a few minutes. As far as I know I haven't made her mad or anything, I'm pretty careful in what I say.

I guess I really should have asked how to go about figuring out what's up right now, and why's she suddenly acting this way?

I thought I posted a reply, but it must've been during CTFs down time.

Sounds to me like you should just talk to her. If she's blowing you off/ignoring you, it might be because she's being teased by her friends or she is confused about her feelings towards you. It'll be an awkward conversation, but it'll probably be worth it.

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Oooh. Here we go. This explains a lot.

You need to decide whether you want to just be friends or pursue her as more than a friend.

You got angry when she decided to invite her other friends to the movies with you. You wanted it to just be you and her, right?

Well, maybe she's trying to guard her heart. Because when a guy and a girl go somewhere together it is a date. Is that too rigid? Think about it.

When you text your friend and go to the movies with her, it's probably different than texting and going to the movies with another guy, is it not? Men and women are different. I will keep saying it.

If you keep kind-of pursing her without calling it a date or a relationship, then it's like trying to have your cake and eat it too. If you really just liked her as a friend, you'd be fine with her inviting other friends to the movies. Tell her you want to go on a date to the movies. I'm sure she'd gladly let her other friends not join her if you said that.

Your friend sounds smart. She doesn't want to get played. We like it when guys respect our feelings by being straightforward about their intentions and how they feel about us.

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Oooh. Here we go. This explains a lot.

You need to decide whether you want to just be friends or pursue her as more than a friend.

You got angry when she decided to invite her other friends to the movies with you. You wanted it to just be you and her, right?

Well, maybe she's trying to guard her heart. Because when a guy and a girl go somewhere together it is a date. Is that too rigid? Think about it.

When you text your friend and go to the movies with her, it's probably different than texting and going to the movies with another guy, is it not? Men and women are different. I will keep saying it.

If you keep kind-of pursing her without calling it a date or a relationship, then it's like trying to have your cake and eat it too. If you really just liked her as a friend, you'd be fine with her inviting other friends to the movies. Tell her you want to go on a date to the movies. I'm sure she'd gladly let her other friends not join her if you said that.

Your friend sounds smart. She doesn't want to get played. We like it when guys respect our feelings by being straightforward about their intentions and how they feel about us.

Wasn't mad about her inviting friends, I was just kind of annoyed that she made it sound like I invited myself after they made plans although it was originally us who decided to go.

I can see what you mean though. To be honest I don't know how I view her either. It's one of those tough decisions where they've been an awesome friend for so long and they're a girl which complicates things. And then she just dropped off the face of the earth.

I'll try to figure out how to talk to her about it. Appreciate the help!

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Why not just ask her?

Anyway, one reason could be that she doesn't know why you're texting her. Are you just being friendly? Are you attracted to her? Since you want to know what she's thinking, it sounds like you are. IF you are, I think you just just make it clear. What's wrong with saying,

"Hey, I kind of like you/think you're cute. Wanna have lunch?"

It's more honest. If she puts you in the friend zone, then at least you tried. Stay in the friend zone until because while your there, she may decide that she likes you after all.

Also you said, "we've done stuff before." What kind of stuff? And ya'll are still keeping up this 'friendship' thing? If ya'll have done stuff, maybe she feels you should've let her know how you feel by now. Again, I have no idea, and so you should just ask. But if you expect her to be honest then you should put your cards out on the table as well. People used to say that would be the honorable thing to do, and I believe in that.

Much easier said than done with her. Most of the time it's just being friendly, but that doesn't explain why she texts me, then ignores me once I respond to her. But yeah I guess I am, like I said in the other thread, she's one of those girl friends that she start to like after you become really good friends. As for "stuff" I just meant we've done lunch, gone to the movies, stuff like that. Not that sort of "stuff."

I thought I posted a reply, but it must've been during CTFs down time.

Sounds to me like you should just talk to her. If she's blowing you off/ignoring you, it might be because she's being teased by her friends or she is confused about her feelings towards you. It'll be an awkward conversation, but it'll probably be worth it.

Yeah, I hate when that happens.

I don't know, I mean I'm decently popular and a pretty friendly guy - maybe people are teasing her but I don't think they would. So possibly the latter which I can understand. I'll try to talk to her about it.

Thanks ladies.

And by the way Zabby/other staff, could you merge this and my other thread? I made it last month and it'd be better to just have one thread to respond to. Thanks in advance. :)

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^You can do it!

Time to man up. And I mean that in the most encouraging way possible.

Ahh! So you realize she might have feelings for you. What should you, as an amazing and honorable man of God, do?

Be intentional!

Here's the thing. You can be her friend. Or you can date her. But you can't do both at the same time.I mean, you can but it's just incredibly frustrating the girl, I guarantee you. Going to the movies and to lunch and stuff like that, I call "dates." I'm weird like that.

Gotta dtr, man. Define the relationship. It doesn't seem like all that, I'm sure. But it is.

Wait I'm being too pushy. Sorry. Just whatever you decide, don't make her wonder to death how you feel about her. There.

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Thank you to whoever merged the threads, much appreciated.

^You can do it!

Time to man up. And I mean that in the most encouraging way possible.

Ahh! So you realize she might have feelings for you. What should you, as an amazing and honorable man of God, do?

Be intentional!

Here's the thing. You can be her friend. Or you can date her. But you can't do both at the same time.I mean, you can but it's just incredibly frustrating the girl, I guarantee you. Going to the movies and to lunch and stuff like that, I call "dates." I'm weird like that.

Gotta dtr, man. Define the relationship. It doesn't seem like all that, I'm sure. But it is.

Wait I'm being too pushy. Sorry. Just whatever you decide, don't make her wonder to death how you feel about her. There.

I shall do my best to, it's going to be tough but I guess it needs to be done sooner or later. And nah, I don't think you're being "too pushy" or even pushy at all really. :)

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