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eva0mwah

Weird situation.

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Before I believed in God,I had a boyfriend(atheist) for 4 years almost and then we broke up because of the ''no touching till marriege'' issue.Now we are back together,without having sexual relationships,and I believe that he truly loves me,because after so many years of being together and ''having fun'',he accepted that I changed and he still wants me anyway.

I am praying almost a year now and asking If I should keep having a relationship with him and eventually get married or If I should stop seeing him because he is a non-believer.God hasn't answered to me yet.

I moved out because I got accepted at a University,so we have a realationshop from distance.It is difficult but we manage it.But here is the deal:

In the church there is a boy which is really cute and I think he likes me.I can say that by the way he is talking to me or smiling.Ι catch myself thinking about him or smiling at him with the biggest smile I have and then,I think about my boyfriend,and I immediately stop.I think I have a crush on him.

I am very faithful to my boyfriend,I trust him and he trusts me but the thing is that he doesn't understand my love about Jesus.He hates it,doesn't agree with my at any point that has to do with faith and I believe that deep inside him he thinks I am stupid for believing that stuff.

I want my husband to be a christian for the simple reason that when you don't have the same beliefs and opinion about such an important issue as faith,you are not going to have a happy marriege.I want to live my life with God and share this love with my husband.

Any opinions?Not waiting for a solution,just for an other opinion:)

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Quick answer: I can't recommend marrying a non-believer. A husband is supposed to fulfill his role as the spiritual leader in the relationship; if he loves God then he will also love his wife and display that love in all he does.

A very wonderful speaker named Brad Henning has this to say, which I think is phrased quite well:

"This is a hard one to answer in a short sentence or two, but the main thing I'd say is... If you were a Christian, for instance, that would mean your life (by definition) is committed to serving Jesus Christ. It is the center of all you do and say, and that life is going a certain direction and not another.

Now let's say you want to date and marry an atheist, someone who believes there is no God. His philosophy is quite different. He believes that he is in control of his life and destiny and that he can live to please himself. The center of his life is what he decides it is, and it could change from time to time, but it does not include any thing to do with Jesus Christ. So, could a Christian and an atheist live and work happily together and still be true to what they each believe? No. That does not make either one of them bad. It just says they can't live together and be honest to their beliefs. Could two atheists be happily married? Sure. How about two Buddhists? Yes.

Some people think we should all be more tolerant of each other in this area and just forget about our differences. Tolerant, to them, means giving up what you believe is right in order to "get along" with those who don't believe what you believe. But that very statement is what an atheist believes, not what a Christian believes. It's absolutely true that we need to be considerate of other people and their beliefs, but the real question is, what is true, and how can you live your life accordingly. It is not about giving up what you believe so that you can have a boyfriend."

Just something to think about.

I know it won't be an easy decision to make, but just keep praying, and maybe ask others in your church for advice. Best of luck to you, m'dear!

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Yes this is exactly what I am talking about,a christian and an atheist can't live the same life.One will like to pray and read the Bible,the other will like to go out and drink till we both pass out(for example.)

I am waiting for an answer,I have trusted God that He will answer to me but the thing is that I will have to obey and I don't know how would I react.We are in a relationship 5 years now and it is a long time,it would be hard to leave it behind and pretend that didn't happen.

Plus,I am concern that If we eventually break up,and I will marry a christian,I would think about my ex all the time because I truly love him.We grew up together,sharing our experiences and out teen years.

Wow,that is so difficult :/ :(

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It's a hard decision... but I think you need to move on from this atheist bf.

There's just no way a Christian/Atheist relationship could truly work. The goal of dating relationships is to find your potential future husband that God has planned for you. With that, He would never have you marry a non-Believer. A married couple is supposed to grow close to God together so that they can become close to each other. And no, "missionary dating" doesn't work. I think in the meantime though, you may need to steer away from a relationship with him, unless he finally converts. And even then, it'd probably not be wise to date him again until he has spiritually mature enough.

It's a tough situation, especially if you two still love each other, but... I think you guys need to take a break for a while. If he doesn't end up converting, then it's time to look at some Jesus-loving guys.

But by ALL MEANS, keep praying for him! You can't make him accept Christ; only God can do that. But you can continue to be a loving witness to him through a friendship and pray that God will soften his heart for Jesus :)

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God won't always give us the answers we want to hear, but we should still listen to His guidance. His path is not always the one we want to take; it might seem scary, or difficult, but it is always the best path.

I can relate in a very small way to this. I was recently in a situation where God told me very clearly not to pursue a relationship with a guy I really cared for, and it was hard to hear; but I am 100% sure that he and I made the right decision, because we made it with God's guidance.

Five years is a long time to be with someone, for sure! It's not like you can just forget about him right away and move on. I'm sorry to say that those feelings will not disappear right away if you do decide to break things off. This guy will always be a part of your life, your past, and nothing will change that. But that doesn't mean the memory of him has to be a burden that you carry into a future relationship.

You can still acknowledge that yes, this relationship happened, and yes, there were lots of great things about it. No one's asking you to forget about everything that went on; if you choose to, you can see it as something that you enjoyed and that you learned a lot from. Denying these five years would even be unhealthy.

It must be a very intimate emotional bond that you two share. That's another tough thing to deal with - distancing yourself from someone who's been so close to you for so long, and who you rely on. But I promise you that God will give you the support, and more importantly, the all-consuming, amazing love that no human could ever give you!

:hug: I really hope things sort themselves out for you. I'll pray for you and your boyfriend :)

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I know it's going to be hard, because he doesn't share the same belief as you...but this definitely will cause problems in yall's relationship. There's no doubt. Religion is such an important part of your life, and God ALWAYS should come first. How can you share the rest of your life with someone you can't fully commit to because in your heart, you know y'all are actually really far apart. (haha yay for unintentional rhyming :P ) I really think you need to move on. College is such a huge life change anyway. You made a change in your life, and while he may accept it now, the strain of being apart and being so different on something so big will make the end worse than just breaking up with him now.

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I do agree with all of you guys,but I have the need to hear the asnwer from God's mouth.

I am just hoping that he will believe in God and we will be together as a christian,married couple.It is very tough for me because he isn't only my boyfriend,but my best friend and my brother and I am afraid that I will never feel that way again.It is not as easy as it sounds,it is actually really painful and scared.

I know that he loves me and we are both madly in love with each other.

pppfffff:crying:

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I agree with most of the replies on here.

If this helps..

My mother and the rest of her family are predominantly Christians, My father and his family are predominantly Muslims. I don't know how they ended up together but I think my mum married, hoping she'd be able to 'convert' him. (My dad isn't the most devoted Muslim like other members of his family).

Ever since I was born, it's literally been arguments (not necessarily between my parents, but between their families), over religion, beliefs, etc. My mum literally had to fight her mother in-law in order to raise my sisters and I as Christians and not Muslims, which was what my grandma wanted.

My point? It is VERY difficult being in a relationship with someone with completely different beliefs to you. Especially if that relationship becomes a marriage at which point, it won't just affect the both of you, but your future children (should you have any).

I've experienced it first hand, and for that reason, I wouldn't consider getting into a relationship with someone that wasn't a Christian. I don't want to go through the same things my parents had to go through.

Its a tough decision, and like Madison said, You can't make him accept Christ; only God can do that. But you can continue to be a loving witness to him through a friendship and pray that God will soften his heart for Jesus.

I hope things work out for you hun :)

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^ Good example. I've got a friend in a similar situation and it's had a pretty negative impact on him his whole life.

Look at it this way: You can choose to leave him now and go through a difficult time, or you can go through even more difficulties later on in life that might have a negative impact on your faith. Realistically speaking, the problems won't just vanish if you stay together and try to tough it out.

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I agree with everyone here, I believe you should move on. Do not rely on your feelings but rely on the word of God (look at Proverbs 3:5-6) God's answer to being with nonbelievers is laid out in his Word:"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?"-2 Corinthians 6:14

I believe God gave us this command for our own protection. Yes, it will be very difficult to move forward but think about all the hardships and difficulties that WILL come your way if you end up marrying the guy (I mean, you're facing challenges now but imagine how tough it will be in marriage and with children in the picture. There are a few people in my church who are married to unbelievers and it is one of the most toughest, emotionally and spiritually exhausting things they are dealing with).

Think about what God says about unbelievers and their unbelief: in the book of Psalms (specifically 14 and 53) they are called "fools" for denying his existence. You mentioned that your bf hates your love for Christ and that you believe he may think you're stupid for believing but isn't that enough for you to want to pack your bags and run for the hills? The Bible says that the message of the cross is foolishness to those who don't believe in what Christ did for us on Calvary but we as believers know it is power (1Cor 1:18). How can an atheist share and delight in this truth with you? They can't. It's impossible. Wouldn't it be much easier and less painful to wait for a man who loves and obeys God, who understands what it means to love you like Christ loved the church? (not saying things will be absolutely perfect and without issues with a Christian but you get what I mean, yes?)

I hope I don't sound too harsh here I'm just really passionate about this subject and it pains me when I see or hear Christians trying to make such relationships work because it rarely ever does and there is that danger of compromising your beliefs. I will definitely be praying about your situation and I hope God will reveal his truth to you and give you the strength to obey his command. Keep your head up! :)

Check out these links that deal with this subject:

http://www.gotquestions.org/missionary-dating.html

http://www.gotquestions.org/unequally-yoked.html

http://www.gotquestions.org/date-marry-unbeliever.html

Biblical manhood and womanhood (what a man and woman of God should look like): http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/topic-index/biblical-manhood-womanhood

The Marks of Manhood: http://www.boundless.org/adulthood/2009/the-marks-of-manhood

---------- Post added at 10:34 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:33 PM ----------

:scared: yikes what happened to my post? lol *sigh* time to edit -___-

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Hi Sweetie, I was having this exact same problem with my bf now ex bf. I was a Christian and he was a Christadelphian, if you don't know what they are look them up. Although he was more like an unbeliever tbh. And I felt that he was always judging me, and he used to call my faith casual, and say that my faith was just what I wanted to believe. I was with him for nearly three years. Nearly the whole time I was praying and seeking Gods advice. I would ask The Lord to change his heart and for him to become a Christian. Then when that didn't happen I asked a God to show me what he wanted me to do. Then one day I was reading my Bible and I came across many scriptures where in the OT they are told not to marry of a different tribe. And I knew that was my answer. Because I knew that if we got married, we would not be in harmony. And I know that God would not have wanted that, because He wants only the best for His children. Hope that helps. X

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Thank you so much Ellie-Mercy-River for sharing your experience.One question though...did he accept it or it was to ''rush'' for him?

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Oh,I am sorry for my english*_*

I mean,did he accept it or he became angry and sad?

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Here is what I think: If he has a healthy respect for your faith and relationship with God, then it could work. We are supposed to lead others to God by example.

But if he is disrespectful about your faith and puts your relationship with God in jeopardy, then that probably will never change. And trust me, you don't want to eventually bring kids into that atmosphere.

Good luck and God bless!

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I just wanted to say that it is over.I am hurt but I know that is the best for me,and God will award my effort and my pain.

May God bless you all.

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I think you've made the right decision, m'dear. Everything's in God's hands!

The hurt is a very natural response; don't try to deny it or to cover it up, but work through it in a healthy way and you'll come out stronger than ever before. It's amazing what God can do in our lives when we've felt the most broken.

Hope things start to brighten up for you <3 I don't know you personally but I'm proud of you :)

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