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Jennyson

First kisses.....

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ok so i was having a "lovely" talk with my mom...and a topic came up that i would like oipnion on...is a first kiss something REALLY big or is it just something parents like to exagerate... ive read a LOT relational books that said that a first kiss is something for the alter, or that its the next step in to becoming one as a couple... i just want others opinoin on this subject

 

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My opinion:

 

First kiss doesn't need to wait till alter. Kiss in moderation. Kiss for the right reasons. Your first kiss probably won't be the person that you marry, so don't take it too far.

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You should be adept enough at kissing by the time you reach the altar to be able to do it in a classy fashion. Whether that constitutes you "going steady" or at the point of engagement, it should be done at least once before marriage. That's my opinion though.

 

Sure, first kisses are special! But they're not as big of a deal as say... your virginity.

Eating each other's faces off in front of 50 people isn't classy.

 

Like this.

 

This is a no-no.

virgin-diaries-first-kiss-o.gif

 

So, don't go around kissing everyone, but don't not kiss and then be all weird when you get married.

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Get enough practice in that you're not going to suck face at your wedding and look like two sea monsters engulfing each other. 

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*laughs till it starts to hurt* i am sooooooo going to show my mom/youth pastor...man.....thats really hard to look at...

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Oi. I've never understood the waiting for your wedding thing. *Maybe* waiting to get engaged but even that seems a bit excessive. I honestly tend to be a bit laissez faire when it comes to kissing, but then the 'first kiss' boat has already sailed with me sooo eh. No worries. 

 

But as to your questions. 

 

I actually don't think a first kiss is that big of a thing, or rather, I think it's what you make of it. My first kiss was with my first boyfriend, I was 17. It was adorable, and sweet, but you know what the bigger 'thing' was in the relationship? The one that comes back into my mind every once in a while? Telling eachother 'I love you.' In person. Not text. For some reason that was big for me. Now, would it be that big in a future relationship? I dunno. But it was. I've never regretted kissing that boy, but I've regretted telling him that I loved him. Each situation is unique. 

 

First kisses are awkward. They tend to be a bit wet and goofy looking and I can not for the life of my fathom why you would want to subject yourself to that awkwardness in front of a crowd of people at your wedding. Let it be sweet, let it be intimate, let it be a situation where your heart races because of the feeling of your partner against your lips instead of because your worrying about your performance. 

 

Also, seems to me that going from holding hands to 'becoming one' in less than 24hrs would be a bit overhwelming. And even more awkward. XD

 

I'm not sure here, but my bet is that you're pretty young (And keep in mind that I'm 23, a lot of you are pretty young) so here is my advice. 

 

1. If you are really really convicted of the idea that you should wait till your wedding day for your first kiss then go on ahead... but if your not? Don't let anyone try to guilt you because of that decision. It really is a personal thing. Look at your relationship. You're amount of control. The moment. Your thoughts on the matter, and make a decision. Certainly I don't think you should go around kissing just anyone (though, like I said I personally am pretty easy going with the kissing thing... If I had more oppurtunities to kiss people I would probably take them.) but at the same time it's not some kind of horrible thing to kiss someone other than the person you end up marrying. It's not a sin. It's not even always a mistake. It just is. 

 

2. Know that, with kissing, one thing can lead to another. This is another matter of 'know thyself' if your not sure where you stand on kissing but are 100% sure that you want to save 'becoming one' for your wedding night then don't play chicken with that line. In the heat of the moment it's a lot easier to cross than you would think. Make sure both you and your partner are clear about your boundaries before hand. 

 

3. In the end, it is what you make of it. Some people tend to put kissing on the same plane with sex as far as 'waiting for it' but, personally, I just find that silly. Kissing is fun. Kissing can be done without sealing your future. It's an action but! It is an action with great ties to the heart and it is the hearts of people we must be wary of playing with. Granted, I'm personally of the opinion that heartbreak, when done right, is a privilege of sorts and not something to always be run from but that's another conversation entirely. It is not the lips but the person behind them you must be mindful of. Both you and your partner. 

 

4. Don't feel pressured. Don't feel pressured to wait for marriage, don't feel pressured to get it done before your out of highschool. Or college. Or ever. Everyone has their own walk. 

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Even as a Christian, I thought kissing was no big deal.

How else are you going to practice?

 

Kiss away!

I'll have you know that I have become a kissing pro thanks to my JBiebz, 1D, and Zac Efron posters. ;)

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I'll have you know that I have become a kissing pro thanks to my JBiebz, 1D, and Zac Efron posters. ;)

 

You mean... I'm not the only one who may or may not have done this? 

 

 

Man, kissing is nothing anymore. I'll be impressed with society if that's all they've done before their wedding day. 

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I'll have you know that I have become a kissing pro thanks to my JBiebz, 1D, and Zac Efron posters. ;)

*laughs so hard, falls on ground*

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I WAS waiting until I got engaged to kiss. That was when I figured, you know, engagement would come within a reasonably soon time frame. After about 3.5 years, it got to the point where we said... is it worth it? It was literally tearing us apart, we are such affectionate people in general. It might work for less naturally-touchy people. Or people who manage to get engaged within a couple of years. We prayed about it, and overall we feel like it was the best choice.

 

That being said, it DOES make it harder to draw a hard and fast line. We have to continue to step back and re-draw boundaries. Constantly. And stepping back is a LOT harder than never crossing the line to begin with. 

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First kisses can be magical, but it depends on how you personally feel about them. Mine was  nothing. I wish it was better. However my first kiss that meant something to me was...well, magical. It can be important, but it doesn't have to be a big thing if you don't want it too. Parents usually blow that kind of thing up to be 10 times bigger then it really is. 

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My first kiss was at my wedding. It was just a little bit completely amazing, and half the people there later went on about how much they loved it too, which was funny. Also, one of my friends has watched the video about a dozen times since then, which is just a little creepy.

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My first kiss was at my wedding. It was just a little bit completely amazing, and half the people there later went on about how much they loved it too, which was funny. Also, one of my friends has watched the video about a dozen times since then, which is just a little creepy.

 

I see a restraining order in your future.... :P

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I swear every time this thread pops up on the home screen I think, "Oh, look! a new thread." and then I click on it and realize I've read this thing like 30 times.

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I swear every time this thread pops up on the home screen I think, "Oh, look! a new thread." and then I click on it and realize I've read this thing like 30 times.

 

Preach. 

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You should be adept enough at kissing by the time you reach the altar to be able to do it in a classy fashion. Whether that constitutes you "going steady" or at the point of engagement, it should be done at least once before marriage. That's my opinion though.

 

Sure, first kisses are special! But they're not as big of a deal as say... your virginity.

Eating each other's faces off in front of 50 people isn't classy.

 

Like this.

 

This is a no-no.

virgin-diaries-first-kiss-o.gif

 

So, don't go around kissing everyone, but don't not kiss and then be all weird when you get married.

 

 

I used to think the idea of saving your first kiss for your wedding day was a sweet idea; I didn't know if I would or not, but it was a nice notion. I saw this video one day, and made up my mind...it went something like "Nope, that's it, not happening! It'll be awkward enough in front of all of my family and friends anyway, much LESS my FIRST time. Nope. Just no."

 

I'm not one to display acts of physical love *anyway* (even hugging in public is a tad weird for me), sooo...Yeah. lol

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That video's really a worst-case scenario. My first kiss/wedding kiss was pretty normal (and quite awesome).

 

 

^That. That was comforting. Everyone always talks about how "awkward" their first kiss was...well, at least, the adults I know. Lol

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I swear every time this thread pops up on the home screen I think, "Oh, look! a new thread." and then I click on it and realize I've read this thing like 30 times.

Just did it again, dang.

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