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RoboRyan

Lame Joke for the day

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Here is the lame joke for the day! Are you ready!?

 

Why did the dog with no tail cross the road? to get to the REtail store!

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get away from the person telling jokes about him.

Edited by Boogles

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Guest Mike Spero

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? It has great food but almost no atmosphere

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How do you get down from an elephant?

 

You don't get down from an elephant you get down of a duck.

 

That joke's from an episode The Mary Tyler Moore Show. The one were WJR does the television special at the single's club.

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What does the B stand for in Benoit B. Mandelbrot?

Benoit B. Mandelbrot.

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What's the difference between a mercedes-benz and 36 dead babies?

 

I don't have a mercedes-benz in my garage.

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Guest Mike Spero

What's the difference between a mercedes-benz and 36 dead babies?

 

I don't have a mercedes-benz in my garage.

I see we're breaking out the anti-jokes, so I might as well join in >.>

 

Knock, knock

 

Who's there?

 

Dave

 

Dave, who?

 

Dave then proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimer's has to progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him

Edited by Mike Spero

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I see we're breaking out the anti-jokes, so I might as well join in >.>

 

Knock, knock

 

Who's there?

 

Dave

 

Dave, who?

 

Dave then proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimer's has to progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him

 

Another favorite.

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Guest Mike Spero

Another favorite.

 

What about:

 

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks: "Why the long face?" The horse replies: "My wife is dying of terminal cancer"

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Guest Mike Spero

How long did it take the CTF members to come up with jokes?

 

About a minute; they just copied and pasted off of the "anti-joke" website

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What does the B stand for in Benoit B. Mandelbrot?

Benoit B. Mandelbrot.

That joke has won the lame joke for the day award!

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Guest Mike Spero

And Jesus said unto Peter: "Come forth and receive eternal life!"

 

But Peter came fifth and won a free toaster

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Guest Mike Spero

What did one wolf say to the other?

 

Let's go catch some fast-food

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Here's a good one that most of you probably haven't heard. It's okay to laugh at ourselves.

An American, a Russian, and a Canuck walk into a bar. All three are scientists working on their respective country's space programs who decided, after a long day of science talk and other related things, to sit down after-hours to get to know each other better. However, all three start to get a bit drunk and crazy, and begin to divulge classified information.

"I've got something awesome for you guys," said the Canadian. "We have developed a way to establish a colony on the moon. We take off in one month - we will wow the world!"

"Ha!" snorts the Russian. "That's so lame - we've obviously topped that," he said, taking a swig of vodka. "We have plans to establish a colony on Mars! Coincidentally, we also leave in one month."

The American, a scrawny nerd not able to drink because America is one of only four countries with a drinking age of over 18, takes a sip from his virgin cocktail. He laughs coolly.

"What is it?" asks the Canuck. "What's so funny?"

"It's just," replies the America, "the magnitude of stupidity of your plans is just monsterous. You're in the stone ages! We so clearly have you guys beat, it's not even funny."

"Well," says the Russian, "don't leave us in suspense - what us it?"

"We," replies the American overconfidently, "have plans to create a colony on the sun!"

The Canuck and Russian look at each other with confused looks on their faces. Finally, the Canuck speaks up. "You can't put a colony on the sun," he replied matter-of-factly. "You'll burn up! That's insane!"

Insulted, the American took two steps back and went on the defensive. "Well, you guys just think that Americans are so stupid don't you?" he shirt back, angrily. "All of today you guys have just made fun of us. Well, we have a plan to solve that problem!"

Surprised, and concerned that the Americans might just have made the most important discovery in the history of space flight, the Canuck calmly but curiously asked, "well, what is it?"

The American shrugged his shoulders and took another look at his friends. "We're going at night," he replied.

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Guest Mike Spero

Here's a good one that most of you probably haven't heard. It's okay to laugh at ourselves.

An American, a Russian, and a Canuck walk into a bar. All three are scientists working on their respective country's space programs who decided, after a long day of science talk and other related things, to sit down after-hours to get to know each other better. However, all three start to get a bit drunk and crazy, and begin to divulge classified information.

"I've got something awesome for you guys," said the Canadian. "We have developed a way to establish a colony on the moon. We take off in one month - we will wow the world!"

"Ha!" snorts the Russian. "That's so lame - we've obviously topped that," he said, taking a swig of vodka. "We have plans to establish a colony on Mars! Coincidentally, we also leave in one month."

The American, a scrawny nerd not able to drink because America is one of only four countries with a drinking age of over 18, takes a sip from his virgin cocktail. He laughs coolly.

"What is it?" asks the Canuck. "What's so funny?"

"It's just," replies the America, "the magnitude of stupidity of your plans is just monsterous. You're in the stone ages! We so clearly have you guys beat, it's not even funny."

"Well," says the Russian, "don't leave us in suspense - what us it?"

"We," replies the American overconfidently, "have plans to create a colony on the sun!"

The Canuck and Russian look at each other with confused looks on their faces. Finally, the Canuck speaks up. "You can't put a colony on the sun," he replied matter-of-factly. "You'll burn up! That's insane!"

Insulted, the American took two steps back and went on the defensive. "Well, you guys just think that Americans are so stupid don't you?" he shirt back, angrily. "All of today you guys have just made fun of us. Well, we have a plan to solve that problem!"

Surprised, and concerned that the Americans might just have made the most important discovery in the history of space flight, the Canuck calmly but curiously asked, "well, what is it?"

The American shrugged his shoulders and took another look at his friends. "We're going at night," he replied.

579525_376067125769737_660986243_n.jpg

 

The only racial jokes I've heard (besides that one) are all really offensive TT.TT

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A black guy, an Asian dude and white chick are sitting in the break room at work.
"Ya know," the black guy says, observing his tablemates, "This seems alot like one of those awful jokes."


-True Story.

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Guest Mike Spero

Why are black men who are great at basketball so skilled?

 

Because they practiced diligently

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