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16 and Never Been Kissed

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Wait, there are still people on this site who don't "logic around" everything? cx

 

 

Nah, we logic to things instead.

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If romance is your goal and you're failing to achieve it, it's only natural to feel badly. Trying to logic around that is silly.

No one should ever feel bad about "failing to achieve" a goal that does not depend entirely on one's self. I'd say if your goal depends on the actions, wishes, and desires of others, or something like the weather, for that matter, it is a foolish goal.

And no, it isn't natural.

Edited by afriendlyatheist

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Guest JAG

If romance is your goal and you're failing to achieve it, it's only natural to feel badly. Trying to logic around that is silly.

 

In your instance, though, the person is deriving shame from other things - namely an insecurity - as opposed to an inaction.  Meh. Word puzzles.

 

Ultimately, It's silly to be ashamed of not doing something that is entirely in every persons' capability to do.  Kissing someone is as easy as finding a kissing booth and dropping a dollar, or getting in a starring eye contest with a pretty girl and stealing it, or just being in the right place at the right time at the right party, or finding yourself under mistletoe or with someone at new years.

 

With all of that said, I value kissing a great deal and would never kiss someone I didn't trust or just have a darn good reason to kiss (I have one instance of this in my life).  Trust me, it's not the physical part of kissing you're craving - it's the feelings that go with it.  Otherwise, just throw it away on any stranger and most likely they'll be happy about it.

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No one should ever feel bad about "failing to achieve" a goal that does not depend entirely on one's self. I'd say if your goal depends on the actions, wishes, and desires of others, or something like the weather, for that matter, it is a foolish goal.

And no, it isn't natural.

 

1) No goal worth pursuing does not involve a modicum of luck. You can fail anything for no fault of your own. Lots of failure still sucks, no matter how despotically you command your emotions.

 

2) Achieving romance does not depend completely on other people. It's like auditioning for a role--the casting director may reject your for personal idiosyncrasies that have nothing to do with your skill or talent as an actor, but that doesn't mean that you aren't responsible for your performance. More often than not, people who fail consistently at romance fail because they consistently have unattractive behaviors.

 

3) It's sensible to feel bad about failure if that negative feeling spurs on further action in pursuit of the goal. For example, when an actor fail to land a role, it may have nothing to do with the actor's talent. Still, I doubt you'll ever find an actor who doesn't feel bad about failing an audition, and that negative feeling doesn't have to be bad--it can spur on harder work and greater determination. Someone entirely stoic and dismissive about failure misses the chance to grow as a result of that failure.

 

4) It's completely natural to feel bad about failure, even unearned failure, when that failure carries heavy consequences. Everyone feels bad about that kind of failure. Unless you're some superman different than virtually everyone in my empirical experience, it's just part of being human.

 

5) Achieving romance can be a worthwhile goal. Your "first kiss" isn't so worthwhile, but more often than not it's desired merely because it's a symbol of romantic success.

Edited by Yves

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I'm almost 18 and never been kissed. I don't think it's a sin to kiss before marriage, but I'm planning on saving my first kiss for my wedding day. I just think that a guy who is willing to wait to even kiss until marriage is a guy who's going to be a keeper!

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Guest JAG

I'm almost 18 and never been kissed. I don't think it's a sin to kiss before marriage, but I'm planning on saving my first kiss for my wedding day. I just think that a guy who is willing to wait to even kiss until marriage is a guy who's going to be a keeper!

 

Absolutely.

 

That would make you a not-so-keeper in my book though, hah.  To each their own.  My brother and sister-in-law tried that, but gave in at his proposal - 4 months after dating.

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The level of awkward that a wedding first kiss would cause... nope. 

 

My brother and sister-in-law tried that, but gave in at his proposal - 4 months after dating.

 

I've always thought that this was a good compromise for couples who wanted their first kiss to wait until a certain level of commitment, but not have a whole audience of friends and family members sitting there recording it.

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Can we stop a second and just think about how weird kissing is? Because it is if you really think about it. You putting your tongue in someone else's mouth. And that's, like, a good thing. Swapping saliva is soooo sexy lol. I think I just ruined kissing for like half of you.  :ohmy:

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Guest Mike Spero

Can we stop a second and just think about how weird kissing is? Because it is if you really think about it. You putting your tongue in someone else's mouth. And that's, like, a good thing. Swapping saliva is soooo sexy lol. I think I just ruined kissing for like half of you.  :ohmy:

 

Nope, still love it with a fiery passion!!! :,D

 

giphy.gif

tumblr_lu80a8APe51qcbi9yo2_r4_500.gif

 

*coughcough@SketchyDronecoughcough*

 

I mean...

 

Wat

 

No

 

Pft

Edited by Mike Spero

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Guest Mike Spero

Mike!!! No xc

Kissing is wonderful though...

I seem to remembering seeing a certain other post on here by you about how good I was at it, so you're at no liberty to talk :P

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Nope, still love it with a fiery passion!!! :,D

 

giphy.gif

tumblr_lu80a8APe51qcbi9yo2_r4_500.gif

 

SENPAI NOTICED ME!

 

hahahahaha

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Guest Mike Spero

SENPAI NOTICED ME!

 

hahahahaha

Haha X,3

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I'm 21 and ive been kissed a few times but most of those times...it was wack as in horrible... I go for 'waiting till you meet someone you care about'...

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Kissing is not all about age,you could get your first kiss at any age,i personally got my first kiss at 14 and any other person could get at 12,18 or any other age

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I can say this much, I haven't kissed anyone yet, and in all honesty I'm glad, there is someone out there somewhere that I'm saving it for. It'll just depend on what happens in the future. And hey, I'm gonna be 17 in 4 months!

Edited by Brandon the man

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oh my gosh do not feel bad. I am almost 17 and still have not been kissed. only had one legit boyfriend. the best relationship I ever had was with my pet fish at 11 XD

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oh my gosh do not feel bad. I am almost 17 and still have not been kissed. only had one legit boyfriend. the best relationship I ever had was with my pet fish at 11 XD

 

 

A pet fish?!..... Okayyy.... :P But yeah, I've only had one "girlfriend" before, I regretted that for many a reason.

23 year old lip virgin.

I'm beating all of you children.

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