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So theres this boy who goes to my church and I've had a big crush on and we used to be really great friends but now he doesn't talk to me much a lot of people say he has a crush on me but he's NEVER shy ever and he's a freshman this year and I'm only in 7th grade and we have so so much in common that I'm positive we would be a great couple but I'm so shy I can't even get his phone number.What should I do to make sure he views me as a potential girlfriend and not just his moms friends daughter who I used to be friends with???

Edited by Lily James

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Well, if you're only in 7th grade, there's DEFINITELY no rush to get paired up. People change so much during high school. Don't stress if you're not his girlfriend now, or even in the next couple years. You're young and there's going to be lots of other guys who'll like you. Don't rush into a relationship. Let God do the leading! :)

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Thanks for the advice...I know I am a little young for dating but I'm really upset that he isn't even nice to me anymore.this year he has been on and off acting like maybe he has a crush on me,and than pretending I don't exist. it dosentake sense to me that he can be like flirting with me and than ignoring me.

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It might just be the age difference. If you're in 7th grade, then you're probably what 11 or 12? If he's a freshman in high school then he's 13 or 14. A lot of stuff happens (psychologically, emotionally, and experience wise) that makes him not able to relate and get along with you anymore. It's very likely that he sees you as a younger sister-type. This would explain why he is close to you (which can be interpreted as flirting) and then ignores you. That is a standard sibling kind of relationship. I wouldn't try to push the relationship too much because your age differences are rather significant at your age. If he has a crush on you, let him suck it up and ask you out instead of trying to hard to get him. You're still young. These things will work out if they're  meant to be.

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Thanks for the advice...I know I am a little young for dating but I'm really upset that he isn't even nice to me anymore.this year he has been on and off acting like maybe he has a crush on me,and than pretending I don't exist. it dosentake sense to me that he can be like flirting with me and than ignoring me.

He's a guy. Guys are going to be weird! Maybe he isn't sure whether he likes you. Maybe he's just dealing with a situation that's difficult. Just don't over-think it. There's lots of reasons he could be acting differently. But it's not the end of the world :P

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It might just be the age difference. If you're in 7th grade, then you're probably what 11 or 12? If he's a freshman in high school then he's 13 or 14. A lot of stuff happens (psychologically, emotionally, and experience wise) that makes him not able to relate and get along with you anymore. It's very likely that he sees you as a younger sister-type. This would explain why he is close to you (which can be interpreted as flirting) and then ignores you. That is a standard sibling kind of relationship. I wouldn't try to push the relationship too much because your age differences are rather significant at your age. If he has a crush on you, let him suck it up and ask you out instead of trying to hard to get him. You're still young. These things will work out if they're meant to be.

he's 14 I will be 13 soon...its really not that big a difference... I keep hearing from everyone including his friends that he likes me he just dosent act like it..we used to be able to read each others minds when we were younger but now we can't anymore...he's an actor he's really hard to interpret

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he's 14 I will be 13 soon...its really not that big a difference... I keep hearing from everyone including his friends that he likes me he just dosent act like it..we used to be able to read each others minds when we were younger but now we can't anymore...he's an actor he's really hard to interpret

I guess I can see your point, but he's going through a lot of changes. I know you probably hear this all the time and don't want to hear it from me, but it's something to consider.

 

In general, I'm gonna repeat what I said earlier. You're young. If he wants to date you, he has plenty of time to ask you out. If he doesn't want to date you, he won't ask you out. Try not to pine over him or thinking about it too much because that's just life. If you were old, I'd advise you to ask him out, but because you're so young, I really don't think you need the closer right now. 

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When is the last time you had a good conversation with him?

About a month ago we chatted a bit but the last time we had like a meaningful conversation was about 6 months ago...every time I try to talk to him he gets like really awkward and than I get awkward and we both just shut up

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Hmm... I never gave advice about this stuff to someone so young but... if you seek insight, I may share...

Their maybe a chance he may like you but can't express it "The trouble talking to girls" as they say. He might be worried that there is nothing common to talk about with you. Guys tend to be conscious about awkwardness as well as you do.

 

You need to be "comfortable" with him before you go on to the next step but there are many approaches to this and I can't give a definite answer as it based on situation. As for now it seems that you have trouble connecting him to what he likes and to what he do. You need to connect to his interest and build it from there. There some things that people can't stop taking about and you understanding that is a step to friendship.

 

It's like the art of conversation which some sales people use to get to know their client (KYC) "know your client" as they get try gather information and connect to as many topics and interest as they can. In end they will know enough and match what products and service would be suitable for the client as well as build a positive relationship with the client which they will come back for more.

 

I'm not saying this will be business but the concept is connection. The feel that you share common things and common views.

Some people do tend skip the "getting to know" part and jump to romance which is difficult if you didn't get know each other. This is the 1st step and it will easily grow from there and you know he's a guy will carry the weight conversation for you eventually, you just need a little nudge.

 

 

(To tell you the truth... kinda forgot how a young teenager mind works... 13 years old, what was it like back then? I do remember "The crush stuff" girls always talk about and those weird funny interviews... oh my...) OK this stuff also happened back when I'm your age... funny how early kids think about this stuff when you think back...

 

I will PM you something that might help. It's just guide and you need not have to follow everything, just do your thing but if you ever get stuck or lost  to might check this out for reference. It might help you get your thoughts organized if you have no idea how to pull this off.

 

PS: Not to discourage but a heads up, If you are trying to get into a relationship you need to prepare heart for rejection. It's not a pretty sight for 1st timers, trust me... But may well as be one of those greatest lessons in life.

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Thanks Zabby yeah I agree that asking him out would be a mortifying fail,but do you think I should try to get his number?if so how?

Well, the thing about getting his number is that you'd have to want to call him. While I think that you should be talking to him more often than you do (otherwise he'll probably think you're not interested), I'm not sure if calling him on the phone would be the best approach.

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Ah, yes, communicating via text message. I forgot that was a thing. I guess that's a good idea, but you don't get as good of a read on people through text based communication as you do with face to face.

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