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it has been pretty long since I tried self harm and all that. I was clean for 6 months. I really don't know how to reach out to you guys- but I need help. Recently, something happened and I decided to go back to the path of self harm. I have a feeling this is because of the music stream I listen to, however I wish to not switch my genre. So recently, in about a week, I got to the point where, I said to myself - "If I could get a good life by following the demons, probably I would." 

 

Ever since, my life is a mess.

 

Although I might say I'm a very active christian and I immediately denied that 'request', something just turned different in me. Its almost my finals in very few days, and I cannot concentrate. My mind kept wandering. I decided, maybe I should get rid of all  the devices that would bother me. I gave my phone to my dad, and I kept my guitar elsewhere. This way nothing is supposed to get to me. But whenever I started studying, just by reading the notes, either I would start daydreaming or I would draw on the white paper I'm supposed to take notes with. The pictures I drew aren't even what I would normally do. I feel like I have an alter ego now. The pictures are suicidal, pictures of skulls and blood and cuts, evil grins and horrifying smiles. I'm scared. I want my old life back. 

 

Normally, I would take one night to complete a whole 12 chapter, which makes me wonderfully smart and blessed. Right now, I couldn't do anything. I couldn't even close my eyes to pray, as everytime I do, something would come to my mind and bother me. I would suddenly have disturbing images showing up. I'm scared. 

 

Someone, help. 

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it might not help you, but you seem downright interesting to me. i would love to talk to you and know more about you.

 

 

obviously, like your life as you said, your head is a mess right now. nothing will get better if that isn't resolved. agreed, my head can be messy too sometimes, but yours is far worse ;)

you're not unreachable deep in the abyss, because otherwise you wouldn't be here, asking for help.

however, here is not a sufficient place for you to look for help i think. you need long talks with people. all you're going to hear here is what you've already heard a thousand times if you explained your troubles to others. another well-meant 'good luck, you'll get trough' or a 'go get a psychologist' isn't going to get you trough. it has to come from within you, with the help of a listening ear and guide.

 

also, the source of your problems has to be found. if you know what it is: even better. but you can't pull yourself out of it without dealing with that.

 

i recommend a very good friend. and if it gets worse, a psychiatrist. you can't deal with this on your own mate, even though you might think you can. 

 

i really hope you can disolve those cobwebs my friend. i really do.

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it might not help you, but you seem downright interesting to me. i would love to talk to you and know more about you.

 

 

obviously, like your life as you said, your head is a mess right now. nothing will get better if that isn't resolved. agreed, my head can be messy too sometimes, but yours is far worse ;)

you're not unreachable deep in the abyss, because otherwise you wouldn't be here, asking for help.

however, here is not a sufficient place for you to look for help i think. you need long talks with people. all you're going to hear here is what you've already heard a thousand times if you explained your troubles to others. another well-meant 'good luck, you'll get trough' or a 'go get a psychologist' isn't going to get you trough. it has to come from within you, with the help of a listening ear and guide.

 

also, the source of your problems has to be found. if you know what it is: even better. but you can't pull yourself out of it without dealing with that.

 

i recommend a very good friend. and if it gets worse, a psychiatrist. you can't deal with this on your own mate, even though you might think you can. 

 

i really hope you can disolve those cobwebs my friend. i really do.

 

 

 

Welp. I hoped that some priest or something would suddenly show up :P but, I'm good. Really. 

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I once had a major addiction that almost killed me, but I didn't learn any lesson and kept on, I came to Christ and still continued, this addiction help me bound for up to 5 years. I'm not an expert in addiction, I don't even know anything there but I'll tell you what I did that got me out of it. Just a simple conversation with a trusted Christian. If you're a teenager, speak with a youth, if you're Youth, speak with an Adult.

This was simply what I did, I would recommend you'll try that. I can quote scriptures for you, but as the other person said, it really won't help, just sum up courage and go speak with a Christian, that's all.

The devil can't hold us bound any longer. God bless.

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I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through. I went through something similar about a year ago. I was afraid I would kill myself. Finally I turned to my mom who started praying for me about my problem. I'm fine now.

 

I would suggest that you get away from your genre for a while. music is terribly powerful. I'm not saying you have to give it up, but just for a while till you get straightened out. You might find I John helpful. Read and reread it. If you are finding it hard to concentrate while you pray, get someplace you can pray out loud. It helps focus the mind. Listen to uplifting praise and worship. And concentrate on the words. And pray, confess what your feeling. God already knows but it is important for you to talk to him about it.

 

If you'd like you can send me a PM. I'll be praying for you.

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it has been pretty long since I tried self harm and all that. I was clean for 6 months. I really don't know how to reach out to you guys- but I need help. Recently, something happened and I decided to go back to the path of self harm. I have a feeling this is because of the music stream I listen to, however I wish to not switch my genre. So recently, in about a week, I got to the point where, I said to myself - "If I could get a good life by following the demons, probably I would." 

 

Ever since, my life is a mess.

 

I'm a little confused by this statement, could you explain what you mean? Do you mean that the music you are listening to caused you to self-harm?

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  I decided, maybe I should get rid of all  the devices that would bother me. I gave my phone to my dad, and I kept my guitar elsewhere. This way nothing is supposed to get to me.  

 

My dad would applaud this part. He calls it getting ride of the excuses for failure.

 

:)

Edited by Ghid

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I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through. I went through something similar about a year ago. I was afraid I would kill myself. Finally I turned to my mom who started praying for me about my problem. I'm fine now.

 

I would suggest that you get away from your genre for a while. music is terribly powerful. I'm not saying you have to give it up, but just for a while till you get straightened out. You might find I John helpful. Read and reread it. If you are finding it hard to concentrate while you pray, get someplace you can pray out loud. It helps focus the mind. Listen to uplifting praise and worship. And concentrate on the words. And pray, confess what your feeling. God already knows but it is important for you to talk to him about it.

 

If you'd like you can send me a PM. I'll be praying for you.

 

Thanks A LOT. I'm quite better now. However, at times, I would take the blade and start shoving again - I don't know. There is something calming and intresting about blood, and scars. I'll do my best.

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I'm a little confused by this statement, could you explain what you mean? Do you mean that the music you are listening to caused you to self-harm?

 

People would say it that way. They call me 'emo' and all that- maybe something with Rock music is satanic and... 

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^ Ah. Ok I get what your saying. 

 

Well, I don't think alternative music or rock or metal is Satanic but I will say this. The music we listen to does have an effect on what we are thinking. For instance, if you are sad and you only listen to sad music that may get you stuck in that emotion. Likewise, forcing yourself to listen to something a little bit more uplifting, even if it's still alternative music, may help change your mood that way. When you feel the urge to cut, I would encourage you to maybe switch your music and go out and do something to work off that build up of energy or pressure. Don't sit in your room and listen to music that makes you want to cut. Movement is always good for this. Running. Dancing. Skating. Biking. Doing Yoga. Just something that helps you release pressure. More artistic activities such as writing or drawing may help, but in my experience something movement-oriented is most helpful with that initial feeling. 

 

Self-harm is a tough one because it does get to be somewhat addicting. I would just really encourage you, when you feel like self-harming, to not sit and build towards that response but instead try to "shift gears" to another activity. 

Edited by Marley

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Thanks A LOT. I'm quite better now. However, at times, I would take the blade and start shoving again - I don't know. There is something calming and intresting about blood, and scars. I'll do my best.

Ok. I'm free any time though. And I would be willing just to be friends.

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well seems we have a lot more in common, I was also into the rock thing, my fav back then were bvb, falling in reverse, and one other band, forgotten their name. Well it was quite cool, I thought then, I wasn't as deep as you are now though.

What I'd say again is to get help from someone. Just as Marley said, if you're sad, listening to sad songs isn't going to help. Likewise, if you self-harm listening to songs that sometimes detail self-harm can't help. They may not be real demonic, but what's the use listening to something like "dragging dead bodies up real steep hills" (that was one of my favourite songs back then). I wouldn't tell you to delete the songs and do away with them cause I know how extremely hard it was for me then. What I'll say is:

Firstly, try occupying your mind with other things, not necessarily Bible and Christian stuffs, just other stuffs. One saying that helped me in my addictions was "if you are going to deal with an addiction, get a new one". Probably get addicted to Justin Beiber, or Usher or Beyonce, then from there you can progress further and go on to Lecrae then on to Detrick Haddon, then Donnie Mcclurkin, then the very sober Don moen. It is almost difficult from Black Veil Brides to Christian stuff, just go progressively.

I must tell you, it was very hard for me, I still struggle with some other addiction even till now, but with your passion and determination, I know God's grace would get you better.

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^ Ah. Ok I get what your saying.

Well, I don't think alternative music or rock or metal is Satanic but I will say this. The music we listen to does have an effect on what we are thinking. For instance, if you are sad and you only listen to sad music that may get you stuck in that emotion. Likewise, forcing yourself to listen to something a little bit more uplifting, even if it's still alternative music, may help change your mood that way. When you feel the urge to cut, I would encourage you to maybe switch your music and go out and do something to work off that build up of energy or pressure. Don't sit in your room and listen to music that makes you want to cut. Movement is always good for this. Running. Dancing. Skating. Biking. Doing Yoga. Just something that helps you release pressure. More artistic activities such as writing or drawing may help, but in my experience something movement-oriented is most helpful with that initial feeling.

Self-harm is a tough one because it does get to be somewhat addicting. I would just really encourage you, when you feel like self-harming, to not sit and build towards that response but instead try to "shift gears" to another activity.

You're rich in knowledge!

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^ Ah. Ok I get what your saying.

Well, I don't think alternative music or rock or metal is Satanic but I will say this. The music we listen to does have an effect on what we are thinking. For instance, if you are sad and you only listen to sad music that may get you stuck in that emotion. Likewise, forcing yourself to listen to something a little bit more uplifting, even if it's still alternative music, may help change your mood that way. When you feel the urge to cut, I would encourage you to maybe switch your music and go out and do something to work off that build up of energy or pressure. Don't sit in your room and listen to music that makes you want to cut. Movement is always good for this. Running. Dancing. Skating. Biking. Doing Yoga. Just something that helps you release pressure. More artistic activities such as writing or drawing may help, but in my experience something movement-oriented is most helpful with that initial feeling.

Self-harm is a tough one because it does get to be somewhat addicting. I would just really encourage you, when you feel like self-harming, to not sit and build towards that response but instead try to "shift gears" to another activity.

You're rich in knowledge!

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As a Pentecostal, I would indeed tell you to run from it, but perhaps you are Catholic and you were raised with that kind of worship, I'll just tell you, it is not necessary to use those in worship but if you are forced to, don't Pray to the cross or the statue, that'll be Idolatry in it's purest form. They can help in worship sometimes, but they shouldn't be what is worshipped. We worship Jesus, the living God, not a statue.

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As a Pentecostal, I would indeed tell you to run from it, but perhaps you are Catholic and you were raised with that kind of worship, I'll just tell you, it is not necessary to use those in worship but if you are forced to, don't Pray to the cross or the statue, that'll be Idolatry in it's purest form. They can help in worship sometimes, but they shouldn't be what is worshipped. We worship Jesus, the living God, not a statue.

 

Yep. Good thing we don't actually worship statues! ;)

 

Because we don't. Common misconception. 

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Yep. Good thing we don't actually worship statues! ;)

Because we don't. Common misconception.

I never said Catholics worship statues. His parent definitely would not give him the cross to worship, but people and he may make the mistake of worshipping it. I know the Church's stance on the statues and cross.

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You guys... should I add that whenever parents bring me a Jesus statue or a blessed cross I feel like running away from it? 

 

I feel like you may be trying to get to a "because I listen to emo music and cut I am somehow demonic and this is why I feel I need to run away from religious objects" interpretation out of all that has happened. But I really doubt this is true. Rather, I call you to ask your self. Do I feel guilty? Is there something in my life I am ashamed of? Do I feel unworthy of Christ's forgiveness and love? 

 

If you are a Roman Catholic, I encourage you to go to confession or, as Lefebrve suggested, talk to a priest. It is very difficult sometimes but God does call us to lay down those thing that hamper our walk with him. Is their something you are holding onto that God is calling you to let go of? It may be very difficult to set that down but, with help things will be easier. 

 

Hope this helps a little. 

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