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Shasta Daisy

The Four Yorkshiremen Game

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I got the idea for this game from this TV show called "At Last the 1948 Show", from a skit titled "The Four Yorkshiremen". Basicly, four men sat around a table talking about how poor they used to be, and each tried to outdo the others.

"In my day, we would never drink wine like this, we would be lucky if we had tea."

"In my day, we were lucky to have tea with no sugar."

"Or milk."

"Or tea."

"In my day we were lucky to have a cracked cup to drink from."

"Cup? We had to drink from a rolled-up newspaper."

"In my day, we were lucky to suck on a damp cloth."

"Aye."

... and so on, and so on. Get the idea? Try to out-poor the person posting above you. And when it gets to the point where you can't get much more poor, then move on to a different subject, like how you and your 26 siblings all had to live in one room with half the floor caved in, countered with how a room was a luxury, you and your 107 siblings had to live in a corridor, and so on. Okay, let's start this game:

"In my day, we were so poor we couldn't afford to go out to eat, and had to cook every single thing ourselves."

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Cook for yourself? Lucky.

 

We were grateful to have leftovers from our neighbors across the hallway.

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Neighbours? Pfft

We couldn't afford to live in a neighbourhood so we made do with a small hut in the middle of nowhere

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Sparse trees? Ever tried living with poison ivy all around you? It is not a pleasant existence

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Trees? Poison ivy? Paradise!

We had to live in the Gobi Desert for 20 years, with a handful of hot sand and gravel for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

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Breakfast, lunch and dinner? Don't even get me started

We got a crumb of mouldy bread every morning and we made that sucker last through the whole day

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You make my mouth water! We each had a crumb of moldy bread every four years or so when we could afford something extra. The rest of the time we were forced to eat tiny pieces of dirty, worn boot leather to keep from starvation.

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Leather sounds delectable compared to what we've got!

 

We'r forced to gnaw on our own hands.

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Hands?! If only!

Our hands were worn to the bone from all the work we did in factories to just barely afford our cardboard box. When we were hungry, we ate an individual hair on our head every morning

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Individual hair?!

 

We were all bald. Even the women.

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Toothpick!

 

We are so thin, it made the neighbor's cat think we were ants and swat at us.

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Ha! My family was worked until they were so feeble and weightless that they had to RIDE ants to work every day at 10:30 at night, half an hour before they got up in the morning.

Edited by Shasta Daisy

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At least they could ride ants.

We were so poor, we had to sell our ants to anteaters to buy food.

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Buy food! Ha! The only food my family of 25 had to eat was four specks of dirt a piece, one for each meal, and one for dessert. Food, indeed!

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