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I am not sure how to fully explain this in words, so I'll try my best.

 

Lately, I've been feeling disconnected from everything, even religion. This is so unlike me. It may be depression, I don't know.

But when I pray I don't feel anything, when I read the word it's just not the same anymore.

 

I keep feeling like something is missing, but what?!

I pray everyday, read everyday, I think I'm doing it correctly.

I don't feel like God is here anymore 

 

But I just feel empty, meaningless, like a big part of me is gone and all I'm doing is trying my best.

 

I've been feeling really depressed, and partially wanting to give up on life (I'm not, don't worry)

 

I'm sorry if this sounds depressing, I just need some insight. I'm not trying to be annoying.

Edited by Silentflood

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I had it explained to me once that although God is sometimes close, He also sometimes feels far away just to test us. I tend to think that that is what He is doing to you. Heaven knows He's done it to me.

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I had it explained to me once that although God is sometimes close, He also sometimes feels far away just to test us. I tend to think that that is what He is doing to you. Heaven knows He's done it to me.

whyyyyyyyy though??

my life isnt a video game :(

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whyyyyyyyy though??

my life isnt a video game :(

Apparently it builds character.

Although talking to people helps, you might want to seek out a good pastor to talk to as well. I mean, it's how I got the explanation I'm giving you now.

Edited by Mu_

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Apparently it builds character.

Although talking to people helps, you might want to seek out a good pastor to talk to as well. I mean, this is how I got the explanation I'm giving you now.

Yeah :/

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Depression is a serious demon. The good note is to recognize it is a depressive phase and work through it. If you need some extra help, you can talk to a counselor or a friend. Just don't give up Janelle.

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Depression is a serious demon. The good note is to recognize it is a depressive phase and work through it. If you need some extra help, you can talk to a counselor or a friend. Just don't give up Janelle.

Thank you <3

I do have Bipolar Depression. I take meds for it.

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First off, know that you are not alone in feeling disconnected from God. In my time being on CTF I think I've seen at least a hundred posts stating such and so I've come to think of it almost as an essential part of every young Christian's journey. At times, it is very difficult for us to "feel" God or feel like he can hear us. Prayer becomes difficult and can feel empty (seriously, prayer is the hardest thing ever when you're down I feel like!). Things that used to inspire us seem to have lost their luster. These spiritual deserts can leave us thirsting desperately for Christ but they can also be experiences that help us grow closer to him by re-examining our faith.

 

One thing that has always helped me during such times is to fall back on a very simple Christianity, the Christianity of loving Christ in serving other people. Sometimes we try so hard to know Christ, through scripture study or by trying to understand theology that we miss the forest for the trees. Serving others can help get back to the crux of the gospel and can also provide a sense of "doing" that can help in the Christian walk. If you can, I suggest looking for acts of service you can complete in your own life. Maybe these are little things like being there for a friend or offering to help your parents out with a specific chore. Maybe you could find some way to volunteer. Offer these acts to God even if you don't feel him. 

 

Another thing is to look for a strong faith community. CTF can be great here but I truly think there is something important in real-life fellowship. If you are high school or college age I would really encourage you to look at ministries targeted at people in your age bracket. Even if these organizations arn't perfectly aligned with your views, being surrounded by like minded Christians can be hge for furthering your walk with Christ in this desert.

 

I'd also encourage you to look at your own self-care practices. Oftentimes, stressful times or big changes in our lives can leave us feeling depressed and disconnected. Simple things like making sure you take time each day to meditate or do something you enjoy are hugely important. Along that same vein, things like getting enough sleep and exercising can also be beneficial. Make sure you're keeping up with friends and family that make you happy and seek out people that build you up. 

 

I know this is very general advice but I'm always happy to talk. Just know you're not alone! 

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First off, know that you are not alone in feeling disconnected from God. In my time being on CTF I think I've seen at least a hundred posts stating such and so I've come to think of it almost as an essential part of every young Christian's journey. At times, it is very difficult for us to "feel" God or feel like he can hear us. Prayer becomes difficult and can feel empty (seriously, prayer is the hardest thing ever when you're down I feel like!). Things that used to inspire us seem to have lost their luster. These spiritual deserts can leave us thirsting desperately for Christ but they can also be experiences that help us grow closer to him by re-examining our faith.

 

One thing that has always helped me during such times is to fall back on a very simple Christianity, the Christianity of loving Christ in serving other people. Sometimes we try so hard to know Christ, through scripture study or by trying to understand theology that we miss the forest for the trees. Serving others can help get back to the crux of the gospel and can also provide a sense of "doing" that can help in the Christian walk. If you can, I suggest looking for acts of service you can complete in your own life. Maybe these are little things like being there for a friend or offering to help your parents out with a specific chore. Maybe you could find some way to volunteer. Offer these acts to God even if you don't feel him. 

 

Another thing is to look for a strong faith community. CTF can be great here but I truly think there is something important in real-life fellowship. If you are high school or college age I would really encourage you to look at ministries targeted at people in your age bracket. Even if these organizations arn't perfectly aligned with your views, being surrounded by like minded Christians can be hge for furthering your walk with Christ in this desert.

 

I'd also encourage you to look at your own self-care practices. Oftentimes, stressful times or big changes in our lives can leave us feeling depressed and disconnected. Simple things like making sure you take time each day to meditate or do something you enjoy are hugely important. Along that same vein, things like getting enough sleep and exercising can also be beneficial. Make sure you're keeping up with friends and family that make you happy and seek out people that build you up. 

 

I know this is very general advice but I'm always happy to talk. Just know you're not alone! 

Hey, Marley

 

I'm a new college freshmen and just began college officially last week. So I'm still adjusting to the community. I'm really shy/introverted.

I'm burning my brain right now trying to think of something helpful I can do, to no avail. Haha.

It'll come to me eventually, I suppose.

I guess it's just one of those weeks. I'll feel better in a few days to a week.

I'm definitely getting more than enough sleep. (ah, good 'ol depression)

 

I just hate feeling so empty. Like talking to a brick wall. 

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No question you ask will ever be annoying. That's what we're here for! To help each other as best we can on our Christian journey! I decided to check in and saw your thread. I just had to post because I am going through a similar point spiritually. I've felt the same way all summer. I felt that my prayers went unanswered, and that God didn't even exist. I was so close to losing faith. But, I just kept going. I prayed and prayed for deliverance. At Mass, when the priest said the words of consecration, I bowed where I was kneeling, crossed myself and said under my breath, "My Lord and my God! My God and my all, help Thou my unbelief." This helped a little. I kept singing my daily prayers from the Divine Office, no matter how hard it got. It still isn't easy. But, I went into the chapel a couple days ago, knelt down in front of the tabernacle where the Eucharist is kept (We Catholics believe that the Eucharist literally is the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Jesus) and said "Lord, I feel so far away from You! This whole summer I felt as though You had forgotten me. All this time, You were silent when I needed You most! I feel like I'm losing my love for You. What do You want me to do?" After I was done, I say back down and just listened for a moment. Then I heard a little voice in my thoughts that said two words. "Have faith." I opened my eyes and just sat there in shock, then I got a picture in my mind of Jesus holding me up, along with His Mother Mary. Why am I telling you this? Because this taught me that when God seems far away, He is in reality hiding in plain sight. We just have to look for Him. When we are lost, Jesus always comes back for us. He is the Good Shepherd, He is the one who lays down His life for us. He is present in every moment of our lives, especially when we are alone. God comes to us in the silence. I've started to call Him "the Invisible One", on top of everything else. Why? Because God truly acts behind the scenes. He is that Hand that pushes the obstacles out of our way. God speaks to us in the silence of our hearts. He doesn't ignore our pain. He is truly present with us, and He always will be. I met with my spiritual director for the first time today. Basically his job is to help me see where God is acting in my life, and to help me discern my vocation. If God didn't act behind the scenes, would I need the help of a priest who has years of experience helping people see God's work in their lives?

Now, if you've bothered to read this far, I'll tell you now that this isn't just me bragging about my relationship with Jesus. I'm telling you this to show you that there is HOPE. There is always hope. You see, there are three theological virtues: Faith, Hope and Love. Mother Angelica, a famous nun once said "Faith is what gets you started. Hope is what keeps you going and Love sees you through to the end." I've been struggling with my faith, too. You are not alone in this struggle. I've been through this and am still going through this. The first real break in the clouds was after a few days of classes when I was officially welcomed into my religious order as a seminarian. God is with you always. My faith is strongest in the morning, and tends to wane in the evening, but I just keep reminding myself that God is truly present in my life. He really does care, and He calls you to a closer relationship with Him. Even now, as I type this message out to you, I realize that I could not have written this without the guidance of the Holy Spirit our Advocate and Guide. Any prayer that you offer to God in this time of distress is more pleasing than one that you offer when things are going smoothly. Why? Because that says that even though you are having trouble, you still turn to God the Father for help.

I know you aren't Catholic, so some things that I talk about may seem odd to you. But bear with me. I really do want to help. I just want to tell you that you aren't alone in this. We'll fight this battle together, alright? I'll be praying for you.

Pax et bonum!

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I know you aren't Catholic, so some things that I talk about may seem odd to you. But bear with me. I really do want to help. I just want to tell you that you aren't alone in this. We'll fight this battle together, alright? I'll be praying for you.

 

And if I haven't said it before... I'm praying too.

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Hey, Marley

 

I'm a new college freshmen and just began college officially last week. So I'm still adjusting to the community. I'm really shy/introverted.

I'm burning my brain right now trying to think of something helpful I can do, to no avail. Haha.

It'll come to me eventually, I suppose.

I guess it's just one of those weeks. I'll feel better in a few days to a week.

I'm definitely getting more than enough sleep. (ah, good 'ol depression)

 

I just hate feeling so empty. Like talking to a brick wall. 

 

My sympathies. I know that feeling well. 

 

If you're starting out in college, though, one thing I would really really really REALLY encourage you to do is to seek out clubs and extracurriculars. It's hard, I know it because I made the mistake of not jumping into things my Freshman year, but I'm telling you it's important for your sanity. Freshman organizations are great, as are faith based organizations and professional organizations. If you have a sport or hobby that you're interested in join a club. If you don't like it or don't have time you can drop it later. If your school has a list somewhere of the clubs they have going (try typing "*your college name* clubs" into google) find it and circle what's interesting. Ideally, you'll probably want to settle to having around 2-3 non-class activities but don't be afraid to "throw the net wide" so to speak. 

 

If you are at a community college or a school where most students commute this will be a bit harder but it's still important. The thing to remember is that all the Freshman are looking for friends so its an opportunity to meet friends like you may never have had before. Have a list of basic questions in your head. What's your name? Where are you from? What are you studying? What do you like to do in your free time? And just ask people. People like to talk about themselves. 

 

As for the volunteer bit, you're right. It is a bit harder when you're in a new enviroment and now that you mentioned that I think a lot of your issue may be the enviroment. I went to a HUGE school down south and, because of social anxiety, never really broke into the community or found a friend group. And it made things really hard. If there was one thing I could have gone back and changed it would have been to really push myself my freshman year (well actually my sophmore year... I transfered after Freshman) and found a community. Even if you're an introvert finding a few people that you can meet up with, even if they arn't that deep of a friend (everyone needs a friend they can go grab burritos with after biology with, everyone) it can be really valuable. 

 

Good luck, and I hope I'm not overloading here. XD

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No question you ask will ever be annoying. That's what we're here for! To help each other as best we can on our Christian journey! I decided to check in and saw your thread. I just had to post because I am going through a similar point spiritually. I've felt the same way all summer. I felt that my prayers went unanswered, and that God didn't even exist. I was so close to losing faith. But, I just kept going. I prayed and prayed for deliverance. At Mass, when the priest said the words of consecration, I bowed where I was kneeling, crossed myself and said under my breath, "My Lord and my God! My God and my all, help Thou my unbelief." This helped a little. I kept singing my daily prayers from the Divine Office, no matter how hard it got. It still isn't easy. But, I went into the chapel a couple days ago, knelt down in front of the tabernacle where the Eucharist is kept (We Catholics believe that the Eucharist literally is the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Jesus) and said "Lord, I feel so far away from You! This whole summer I felt as though You had forgotten me. All this time, You were silent when I needed You most! I feel like I'm losing my love for You. What do You want me to do?" After I was done, I say back down and just listened for a moment. Then I heard a little voice in my thoughts that said two words. "Have faith." I opened my eyes and just sat there in shock, then I got a picture in my mind of Jesus holding me up, along with His Mother Mary. Why am I telling you this? Because this taught me that when God seems far away, He is in reality hiding in plain sight. We just have to look for Him. When we are lost, Jesus always comes back for us. He is the Good Shepherd, He is the one who lays down His life for us. He is present in every moment of our lives, especially when we are alone. God comes to us in the silence. I've started to call Him "the Invisible One", on top of everything else. Why? Because God truly acts behind the scenes. He is that Hand that pushes the obstacles out of our way. God speaks to us in the silence of our hearts. He doesn't ignore our pain. He is truly present with us, and He always will be. I met with my spiritual director for the first time today. Basically his job is to help me see where God is acting in my life, and to help me discern my vocation. If God didn't act behind the scenes, would I need the help of a priest who has years of experience helping people see God's work in their lives?

Now, if you've bothered to read this far, I'll tell you now that this isn't just me bragging about my relationship with Jesus. I'm telling you this to show you that there is HOPE. There is always hope. You see, there are three theological virtues: Faith, Hope and Love. Mother Angelica, a famous nun once said "Faith is what gets you started. Hope is what keeps you going and Love sees you through to the end." I've been struggling with my faith, too. You are not alone in this struggle. I've been through this and am still going through this. The first real break in the clouds was after a few days of classes when I was officially welcomed into my religious order as a seminarian. God is with you always. My faith is strongest in the morning, and tends to wane in the evening, but I just keep reminding myself that God is truly present in my life. He really does care, and He calls you to a closer relationship with Him. Even now, as I type this message out to you, I realize that I could not have written this without the guidance of the Holy Spirit our Advocate and Guide. Any prayer that you offer to God in this time of distress is more pleasing than one that you offer when things are going smoothly. Why? Because that says that even though you are having trouble, you still turn to God the Father for help.

I know you aren't Catholic, so some things that I talk about may seem odd to you. But bear with me. I really do want to help. I just want to tell you that you aren't alone in this. We'll fight this battle together, alright? I'll be praying for you.

Pax et bonum!

You're awesome, okay?

 

Anyways, I don't know where to start...

Well. I try, and I try and I try and I try... and nothing. I don't stop trying though. I still pray and pray. I even find myself wondering if it would even matter if I self harmed again. But then, something stops me. See, once again I'm trying extremely hard. I just.... I dont know.

 

But so far, I have been safe. And it's okay if you're Catholic. You may have to explain some things to me because I don't know a lot about it. 

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My sympathies. I know that feeling well. 

 

As for the volunteer bit, you're right. It is a bit harder when you're in a new enviroment and now that you mentioned that I think a lot of your issue may be the enviroment. I went to a HUGE school down south and, because of social anxiety, never really broke into the community or found a friend group. And it made things really hard. If there was one thing I could have gone back and changed it would have been to really push myself my freshman year (well actually my sophmore year... I transfered after Freshman) and found a community. Even if you're an introvert finding a few people that you can meet up with, even if they arn't that deep of a friend (everyone needs a friend they can go grab burritos with after biology with, everyone) it can be really valuable. 

 

Good luck, and I hope I'm not overloading here. XD

You arent overloading xD

 

I'm introverted. So I tend to avoid. But since Ive started college, Ive been "pretending" to be outgoing and confident. Its been working so far, somewhat. There's a poetry club that I want to join. And I live on campus, so it wont be hard.

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I just tend to be wordy, I worry I scare people. XD

 

Fake it till ya make it. 

 

I took that mantra after discovering psychological studies that supported it as a good idea. Hasn't failed me yet. Theres nothing wrong with being an introvert but even introverts usually need a couple buddies. ^_^

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