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Cato

Why are male insecurities a big joke?

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Why do we laugh at male insecurities? Why is it socially acceptable to body shame men?

The double standards are everywhere. Here is an example:

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Here is some background. A "vine compilation" (or whatever) was made by women reacting to the height of males.

The girl pictured above "tweeted" (or whatever) the picture of her expression and stated "when his height starts with 5'...". A user under the tag "Meninist" responded "when your weight starts with 200".

His comment was pretty much swarmed with angry women, but I do not understand the difference - I cannot. If anything, a weight standard is more reasonable because firstly, weight can be influenced while height cannot, and secondly, weight can be an indicator of health while height generally is not.

Meninist was told he should "feel like poo" in a more explicit way, was threatened, and just generally treated like a vile human being by women.

In the media, and in society, women are free to make insecure men feel horrible about themselves, and many of them see no issue with it, it's a big joke.

Consider the following Subway commercial:

Now, imagine the roles reverse. That is, imagine a nerdy, overweight, unattractive woman being approached by a fit, handsome man with chiseled features about getting lunch, see the woman's excitement build, and then realize what's going on and seeing her disappointment. I think it would be called sexist and objectifying towards women. For some reason it is perfectly benign and comical to joke about a man being rejected, or seeking companionship but failing.

Male insecurities are a big joke, no one cares about making a man feel bad about himself at all.

This is honestly the biggest double standard I've ever seen. What gives?

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I've thought about this a lot and actually wrote a paper about this very topic in an English class last fall. It astounds me.

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I personally do not consider myself a feminist, but I always find the movement very hypocritical.

 

I don't make fun of male insecurities because insecurities are not limited by gender and no one should be pushed to feel worse about themselves than they already do.

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This is wrong and shouldn't be the case.

 

I personally do not consider myself a feminist, but I always find the movement very hypocritical.

 

I don't make fun of male insecurities because insecurities are not limited by gender and no one should be pushed to feel worse about themselves than they already do.

 

The thing is... this isn't feminism. 

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The big joke behind male insecurity is that men are not supposed to be insecure because insecurity is in our society seen as something reserved for females. It's funny because the cocky stud-like male is the ideal. It's essentially a back handed way of calling females weak. 

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It's essentially a back handed way of calling females weak.

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Agree with me or not Jonathan, it's how I see the issue. 

Edited by Zabby

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Agree with me or not Jonathan, it's how I see the issue.

I understand, and I can relate. I always felt like enslaving black men was just a backhanded way of saying that white people were too weak to be slaves. I'm glad that we ended slavery and ended that horrible insult to white people. Edited by Cato

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I understand, and I can relate. I always felt like enslaving black men was just a backhanded way of saying that white people were too weak to be slaves. I'm glad that we ended slavery and ended that horrible insult to white people.

That's a completely different issue because you're ignoring the privilege invested in the issue and you're ignoring the root of the problem. Making fun of male insecurity is the same as calling a male too girly. Emotions are typically considered a feminine thing. When young boys cry (because they are insecure or upset about something justifiable) they're told that crying is for girls. It's because of how society views women that we make fun of male insecurity. 

Edited by Zabby

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Male insecurity is.. in my viewpoint, very new. And very stupid.

I am no feminist, I despise feminists as most of it now is just ridiculing men, and insulting everyone. 

 

Male insecurities is just the same as Female insecurities, and yet when the boys get insecurities like everyone does, they get ridiculed.

 

It is ridiculous. 

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That's a completely different issue because you're ignoring the privilege invested in the issue and you're ignoring the root of the problem. Making fun of male insecurity is the same as calling a male too girly. Emotions are typically considered a feminine thing. When young boys cry (because they are insecure or upset about something justifiable) they're told that crying is for girls. It's because of how society views women that we make fun of male insecurity.

The only privilege going on here is that females are privileged in that they are emotionally coddled and males are emotionally shunned. You say it's because women are viewed as weaker, oh, boo hoo. How hard it must be for women to be emotionally coddled at every turn because of a tacit assumption that they are weaker, while men are ten times likely to kill themselves because all of their problems are viewed as a big joke to everyone. It must be so hard dealing with all that male privilege.

Isn't prison rape funny you guys?

Edited by Cato

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The only privilege going on here is that females are privileged in that they are emotionally coddled and males are emotionally shunned. You say it's because women are viewed as weaker, oh, boo hoo. How hard it must be for women to be emotionally coddled at every turn because of a tacit assumption that they are weaker, while men are ten times likely to kill themselves because all of their problems are viewed as a big joke to everyone. It must be so hard dealing with all that male privilege.

Isn't prison rape funny you guys?

You have not once in this thread treated me like an adult or tired to intellectually engage with me as an equal just because you disagree with my point of view. I'm sorry, but I thought you respect me as a person more than what your posts are communicating. I will no longer be posting in this thread. 

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You have not once in this thread treated me like an adult or tired to intellectually engage with me as an equal just because you disagree with my point of view. I'm sorry, but I thought you respect me as a person more than what your posts are communicating. I will no longer be posting in this thread.

Ok, you're right. Here's why I don't buy what you're selling.

If a male treats a female insecurity with the same type of insensitivity that males face, he is not reprimanded because "that's not cool, she's a woman, so she is weaker" by his fellow men, instead, he is reprimanded (eaten alive) by women about how women "should be treated with respect." There is no assumption that females are weaker, there is simply an insensitivity when it comes to male problems. Saying that women are treated as if they are weaker, is, I think, a misleading rewording of the problem. I think in this issue, women are treated as human beings and men are treated as whiny complainers, which brings me to my next point.

A man can be shamed in good humor, no ill is intended, because it's socially acceptable. Of course, that has nothing to do with if it is still emotionally hurtful, and the fact that he manages to shrug it off is not seen as an act of strength or resilience because the person who has shamed him is seen as having done nothing wrong.

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I think that it's because men in society aren't supposed to be insecure. I don't think that's true, but that doesn't change what society says. It's the whole masculinity thing, like that men should be tough, and not cry and so on. I had to study this a tad for sociology, but it's become a gender norm in society for men to not be insecure. 

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I don't get it either..... but then I also don't have a problem with guys or gals having physical standards.

 

I feel like there are a lot of assumptions and generalizations that kind of lead into this double standard being "acceptable". I think women get a sort of pass on these things because society views them as coming at relationships from a mental/emotional standpoint while men only come at things from a physical/physical standpoint and mental/emotional is considered "superior". Whether or not there is truth in these stereotypes is less relevant than their effects. The idea that looks matter is "icky" in PC society but gals are allowed more leeway because they are assumed to be operating from that mental/emotional standpoint primarily where as if a guy states that he just isn't into overweight women that's considered to be the entirety of his "attraction-profile" (making up words now) and that's considered base. What a pig, all he thinks about are looks. Where as with a women "She wants a guy who looks good, but really it's about personality". The preference is assumed "in addition too". 

 

I don't know if I got to what I meant to say with that but meh. 

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I find it interesting how it seems like society sees the ideal man as being "macho" when in many situations, a "macho man" isn't that manly at all. A real man doesn't hide his insecurities from himself. He confronts them, and does what he can to solve the problem. I don't think they're a joke, per se because they do exist and men, like all humans, have something that makes them feel insecure. What separates the men from the boys in my opinion, is men face these issues and solve the problem if they are capable of doing so. If not, well, everyone has their cross to bear. But, it's how you bear that cross that shows if you're a boy or a man. Should men be tough, yes. But, can they also cry? I've seen men shed tears during our weekly Eucharistic Adoration because they are so moved by the love of God. We have a term that we use: masculine vulnerability. Basically, it means "Admit that you aren't perfect, so fix your mistakes to the best of your ability, and don't be afraid to seek the help of your brother seminarians if you feel that you need to." As my philosophy teacher will sometimes say, "Well, you know, esto vir, brother."

I think the point of this thread could have gone over my head, so tell me if I'm off topic.

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I thin society/media puts so much pressure on women AND men to be this or be that. Or look like this and dress like that. Making fun of something nobody can change (actually you can change your height,but the way they do it is rediculous),is wrong and rude. Now some people out there that are fine with people making jokes about their height while others are really insecure.

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I thin society/media puts so much pressure on women AND men to be this or be that. Or look like this and dress like that. Making fun of something nobody can change (actually you can change your height,but the way they do it is rediculous),is wrong and rude. Now some people out there that are fine with people making jokes about their height while others are really insecure.

 

(I'm insecure xD I cry if someone trash-talks to me. But then again, he was a dear friend of mine.) 

 

And yes... 

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