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I'm sure that this'll get me loads of hugs and kisses...

 

DEMOCRAT
You have two cows.

Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
You push for higher taxes so the government can provide cows for everyone.

 

REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.

Your neighbor has none.
So?

 

FLORIDA
You have a black cow and a brown cow.

Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who meant to vote for the brown one accidentally vote for
the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can’t figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of out-of-state guys tell you which one you think is the
best looking cow.

 

CALIFORNIA
You have millions of cows.

They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegal.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.

 

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.

Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the
other, and then pour the milk down the drain.

 

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.

You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

 

AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.

You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are
reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.

 

SOCIALIST
You have two cows.

The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative for you two to tell each other how to manage your
cows.

 

COMMUNIST
You have two cows.

The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

 

FRENCH
You have two cows.

You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.

 

JAPANESE
You have two cows.

You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

 

GERMAN
You have two cows.

You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent
quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
They demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

 

ITALIAN
You have two cows but you don’t know where they are.

You break for lunch.
Life is good.

 

RUSSIAN
You have two cows.

You have some vodka.
You count them and determine you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

 

TALIBAN
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.

You don’t milk them because you cannot touch any creature’s private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to
milk production but use the money to buy weapons.

 

IRAQI
You have two cows.

They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.

 

POLISH
You have two bulls.

Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

 

BELGIAN
You have one cow.

The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he’s French, other times he’s Flemish.
The Flemish cow won’t share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow’s milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.

 

 

 

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I am so confused right now. Are the cows actually cows? Is this referring to women? What if someone is vegan?

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I'm sure that this'll get me loads of hugs and kisses...

 

 

FLORIDA

You have a black cow and a brown cow.

Everyone votes for the best looking one.

Some of the people who meant to vote for the brown one accidentally vote for

the black one.

Some people vote for both.

Some people vote for neither.

Some people can’t figure out how to vote at all.

Finally, a bunch of out-of-state guys tell you which one you think is the

best looking cow.

 

CALIFORNIA

You have millions of cows.

They make real California cheese.

Only five speak English.

Most are illegal.

Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.

 

 

 

GERMAN

You have two cows.

You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent

quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.

They demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

 

 

These sound like people, 2 sound like women. XP

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This is a pretty old thing that's been circulating the internet for years.

 

The Italian cows gets me every time. 

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