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lostteen

April 15th..Worst day for adults...but its bad for another reason

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This has been something really hard to talk about for awhile...i'm a junior in high school and about two weeks before school started this year and two weeks after my birthday...I was told by my aunt and uncle (who i live with because my parents lost the house) that my dad had passed away.i had just seen him not even a week earlier. He was fine... now in my life my mom has done some bad stuff...so my dad was all i really had left. Especially sense my siblings decided that because i couldn’t/wouldn’t forgive my mom, that i was the “bastard child”...The main thing here really is that after he died i got depressed and got into ALOT of fight with my aunt and uncle. Over stupid things mainly. So i got depressed and i just lately got out it. But April 15th is his birthday,,,and i really don't know what to do about it. People keep telling me that i can either celebrate his life or mope around...i just don't know what to do. And i have school and track meet on that day too. I want to be able to focus but because it is getting closer to the date, i just keep getting theses thoughts of “you don't need to call him this year”...”this is just another thing you don't have to remember every year”...”this is just another throw he will never see” (i throw shot and discus) I really don't know how to deal with it…….any of it.

 

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It's ok to grieve, and it's ok to still be grieving. Loss of a parent is hard. Grief does not mean "moping around" it is a true, valid, and real pain that has to be worked through... often over a long period of time. Likewise, celebrating your dads life for his birthday doesn't mean you can, will, or should feel 100% ok about things. 

 

Is there anyone in the real world you can talk too? A school counselor maybe? A grief counselor?  I know it can be an uncomfortable to think about talking to someone about how you're feeling but losing a parent is big and it sounds like your support system (family, friends, whatever) may not be able to help you with strategies for coping. 

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