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the sick

Should I tell my crush that I love her?

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So I'm a 23 year old guy and I love a girl I've known since December (20 years old). I told her that I have a crush on her a while back and we've been okay since then although we aren't together in any way. Just friends. But I want to tell her how I feel since because I want her to know. The problem is that I know she is interested in someone else although she can't gather the courage to talk to the guy.

I don't want her to be uncomfortable or to think I'm asking her out. I just want her to know because I hate keeping it a secret. But I'm very unattractive (4/10 according to most women) and I don't want to risk offending, upsetting, or discomforting her. Do you guys think she'd feel this way? She's super sweet and very strong in her faith.

For what it's worth, she seems to believe that if you love someone then you should tell them based on a tweet she retweeted a few weeks ago. Not sure if she truly believes it, though. But is just letting her know this bad?

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For what it's worth, I've literally never had success by doing that.

I have never, ever, ever pursued a girl that seemed uninterested in me and somehow changed her mind. It's always been obvious whether or not they were interested. Life is not a love story, don't pursue things that need to be forced or that don't naturally develop. It just doesn't happen dude.

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Telling her you love her is usually a bad idea. The better tactic would be to win her over without confessions of love. See if you can make her jealous.

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You need to show interest in her and get it in her mind that your not just a friend. It's very difficult to pretend to be just "a friend" as you might mislead (deceive) her of your true intentions which will lead to confusion and drama. 

 

When you say "I love you" means that you have learned and accepted "everything" about her but It's really difficult to say that if you know nothing about her except "way she looks". What I'm trying to say is that you need to get to know her & ask her out. That is where you'll know everything about her feelings, interests, life, family, friends, and eventually "open up" her problems etc... like an interview. This is a good way to know if you're not pursuing a "crazy person" or if she is interested with a romantic relationship with you (well accepting your date is a good sign).

 

Pursuing a relationship is like pursuing a job/career. You need to define yourself and be confident that you are the man for the job but at the same time investigate if this is the best girl for you. If you're rejected then it's part of life as they say but you'll never know until you've tried. The pain will make you a stronger person and there's more to come in life. 

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 Female perspective: Friends confessing their love you is creepy. Well, if you're not into them anyway. Professing your feelings to a disinterested female will most likely cause you to lose her friendship or at the very least, make things very awkward. If she's interested,  ,it's another story. Sounds like this chick just isn't into you though.

Also, twitter is not the key to unlocking a female mind. She may have seen a quote she liked and repeated it, she may be hint dropping at another guy. Don't take it as her mantra. Most people don't go around confessing love like it's a Disney movie.


Also who outright gives people /x10 scores?  That is SUCH a self-worth blower. Who are these women?  Their shallowness puts them at like a -100/10.

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There be a lot of girls in the world. Find ye another one D:

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Okay. I won't tell her how I feel. However, it's come to my attention that she believes in doing things the old fashioned way in that she believes the guy should ask the girl out. I was thinking that perhaps what I perceive to be a lack of interest is more of her not waiting for me to ask her out. On the other hand, I could be correct and she simply isn't interested in me. So it's also occurred to me that she has a "list" of requirements that a man can't break in order for her to consider dating them.

Would it be bad for me to ask if I've broken any rules on that list? Or what she would want from me in order to date me? I hear desperation is a turn-off, but we're both desperate people. I'd like to know so that I could see if her wants are something I can fulfill. I'm willing to change myself. I'm a crappy person as it is so please don't say that I need to just be myself.

Also who outright gives people /x10 scores? That is SUCH a self-worth blower. Who are these women? Their shallowness puts them at like a -100/10.

I asked a really hot (girl) friend a few years ago what I am on a scale from 1-10. Setting other people discuss ratings online I have learned what a true 1 is, so I understand that I'm at least a 3 or 4.

Edit: Some people here missed my the point of my original post. I've shown interest in her. She knows I like her. This isn't me coming out as a friend who secretly loves her. She knows I have a crush already, just not that I love her.

Edited by the sick

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Don't say "I love you" till you've been together or at least going out for a bit but by all means ask her on a date, make your interest really known. Don't be desperate but make your interest known. 

 

It'll either go well or crash and burn but at least you'll know. 

 

And lists are dumb. Don't worry about the list, don't mention the list. As much as people like to think otherwise the initial stages of love and attraction are not logical. Be friendly. Be interesting. Be kind.Smell nice. Be confident. Be funny. I assure you, only once you get to the point where she's already thinking "I could potentially like this guy" will the list even come into her mind. Plus, a lot of people have things on their "lists" that, after a while, they discover they don't actually need or desire. 

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