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scarlettdelta2386

Popularity in schools

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 I have always wondered how people become popular.  In school it is a popularity contest that only hurts me and so many students.    student council for example they don't care who would do the best job.  they only care who is the most popular. It's so stupid!   All I want is to learn and instead I get pushed around by all this popularity junk.

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This is, unfortunately, also to a great degree how life works outside of schools, tempered only by some matters of practicality. Your best bet will be to work on ways to make squeeze what you can from this system both in school and elsewhere.

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Popularity in high school is a huge mystery. It makes very little sense in general.

Some of the most popular kids from high school are some of the worst off now. Beer belly, still stuck in the hometown, dead end job, not particularly good looking. One guy in particular, when I see him and greet him, looks embarrassed and ashamed.

Just ignore it. Be physically fit, be intelligent, be nice. Eventually people will value you for rational reasons.

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Some of the most popular kids from high school are some of the worst off now. Beer belly, still stuck in the hometown, dead end job, not particularly good looking. One guy in particular, when I see him and greet him, looks embarrassed and ashamed.

 

Just ignore it. Be physically fit, be intelligent, be nice. Eventually people will value you for rational reasons. 

 

 

Yeah, this is basically right. Listen to Cato <3

 

That said, I think resentment is a bad attitude. Sometimes people are better than you--more popular, more creative, more intelligent--in spite of obvious character flaws. It's easy to dismiss such cretins, but then you miss out on a learning opportunity. Get in the bully's headspace, learn what his weapons are and how they work. Sometimes strategies that work for jerks work for pretty alright people too. And sometimes you might even find that, once you see things in their context, the so-called bully's an alright guy.

 

This is, unfortunately, also to a great degree how life works outside of schools, tempered only by some matters of practicality.

 

 

Why is it unfortunate that people want to work with likable people? Skill is nice, but I don't understand why it's more noble than the attributes that go along with (adult) social success.

Edited by Chris-M

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Why is it unfortunate that people want to work with likable people? Skill is nice, but I don't understand why it's more noble than the attributes that go along with (adult) social success.

It's not unfortunate in itself that people prefer likeable people. Rather, it's unfortunate when likeability takes precedence over competence or character in situations where those are more important or relevant, which seems to be the case frequently in a wide variety of contexts. As it is, a winning smile can cover a multitude of sins, but in many situations that's not a good thing.

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I must admit it sounds like there is a tidbit of jealousy in your heart. I can relate to the feelings of not being popular, or feeling unwanted by your peer group.

 

However, we have to take that moment to think about that peer group.

Naturally, each person is an individual, and often popularity is created by either fantastic social butterfly skills or someone being outright intimidating to where people feel they MUST like that person or they will suffer. Do those two sounds reasonable? Because I can promise you the popular social butterfly is so social all her conversations are paper thin. So she can quickly move to the next person.

 

Do not strive to be popular, strive to be intelligent. Popularity comes and goes like the wind. No one can take away what you put inside your mind. When you strive for intelligence and work hard, someone eventually will come around. It may not be 100 people, it may just be a single person. But I assure you, that SINGLE PERSON will mean a whole lot more than either of the above people's relationships.

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I'm glad you guys all care about me now I know that I'm never alone.  May God bless you all.    thank you for your wisdom and love.   i'll always remember that I have you to talk to.  :D


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