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Olaf66

What is a woman supposed to be?

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I'm seventeen and I have a lot of problems with self worth and self confidence. I've never thought I was good enough. My boyfriend and I just broke up a month ago, but when I was with him, I was finally happy. He always told me I was a beautiful creature made by God and that I would be the perfect help meet when we came of age. We broke up because I couldn't give him the attention he needed right now because we aren't married and I'm busy with home and school. But now that we're not together, I'm stuck in the same hole I was two years ago.. Is it wrong that I need a man to make me happy and feel good enough? My friends keep telling me I should be happy with who I am and I don't need a man to make me happy.. But I really feel like I do. Is that wrong?

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You need to work on figuring out who you are and who GOD (who is the most important male figure in your life for all of your life) wants you to be before you go after the menfolk.

You don't need a man to complete you. Say it. Out loud. "I don't need a man to complete me." 

Wanting one is fine. Most of us want one.  But they are not a need. They will not fill you permanently.   A human being cannot bring eternal happiness. Eventually the honeymoon stage of the relationship wears away and fights happen and suchlike. Placing your value in another human being is not only a wrong mindset, but an unhealthy and unwise one.

Also, "I couldn't give him the attention he needed." That seems to be a bit of a red-flag. If he is not strong enough in who he is to realize that sometimes life stuff pops up that will divide your attention, he's not husband material.  Good men realize that sometimes real life junk gets in the way and that you'll be ready to hang out as soon as life chills. They get it, they may have off days, but they get it. 



To answer your question

A woman is supposed to be whoever God wants her to be. Your value comes from Jesus.

To build your confidence, I suggest you pick a few aspects of you to work on.  
If you struggle with how you look, walk up to mirror and compliment yourself, out loud, so you can hear it.  "I am beautiful, I am valuable in God's eyes." Stuff like that.
You can also focus on stuff you do, like mastering a talent you have, or taking up a new hobby. Successes bring about confidence.

The goal is to become well rounded in everything you know/do, so that when you are in a relationship, you are still a complete person without the man. You are with him because you enjoy his company and because you love him. not because you "need" him to validate you as a woman.

You are not less of a human being because you are single. don't let anyone tell you anything different.


 

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I'm seventeen and I have a lot of problems with self worth and self confidence. I've never thought I was good enough. My boyfriend and I just broke up a month ago, but when I was with him, I was finally happy. He always told me I was a beautiful creature made by God and that I would be the perfect help meet when we came of age. We broke up because I couldn't give him the attention he needed right now because we aren't married and I'm busy with home and school. But now that we're not together, I'm stuck in the same hole I was two years ago.. Is it wrong that I need a man to make me happy and feel good enough? My friends keep telling me I should be happy with who I am and I don't need a man to make me happy.. But I really feel like I do. Is that wrong?

 

Ya don't need anyone. You don't. 

Romance kills and revives. It's both. And that sucks, yes. Romance is not a problem. 

Uhm okay so you need to remember that you are an entity that exists outside of relationships. You're a brilliant shiny dot in the universe and you need to be preserved, Focus on that. If romance happens it happens but don't let the temporary absence ruin your mood. 

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