Welcome back to the Christian Teen Forums. We have been upgrading our forum software and it took a lot longer than originally anticipated. Thank you for your patience.

We are still working to bring some add-on features back, so it will be a continued work-in-progress. If you have any questions, feel free to post and ask away. 

I was twelve when I first realized I was attracted to girls. I didn't want to say or do anything about it--what was there to say? Who could I tell? I thought the feeling would go away eventually; that it was just a phase, like everyone would usually say.

It isn't, though.

I'm seventeen now and I'm sure about my feelings more than ever. I like girls, and I don't think I've ever liked anyone of my opposite gender. Yes, I've had a few boyfriends every now and then.. and a girlfriend, twice. I'm currently not in a relationship with anyone at the moment but looking back then, my feelings towards the two genders were definitely different and I can't pinpoint what exactly it was in the relationship that made it different, but it just was. I saw something in girls that I've never seen in boys. My feelings felt more concrete, more real. I like girls and I don't like boys, not at all.

I feel so much happier, so much lighter, so much more of myself whenever I'm with girls. It's never felt right with a boy.

But I don't know if it's a good thing or not. My fear has been eating me up inside and I don't know if it's right. I don't know if it's okay, being Catholic and also being homosexual. I don't know if I'd be accepted the way I want to be accepted, I don't know if I'd be looked at the same way if I ever told anyone. This is who I am, this is who I've always been, and I don't think this is a phase. I don't think it has something to do with "finding the right person". I know I haven't found my true partner yet but I know I won't find it in a man.

I like girls, but will I be damned? Will God look down at me, call me a fool? Will He talk to me in a condescending tone for being both a firm believer of His Word and a lover of people of my own gender? Is it wrong?

Edited by lonelyhands

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The feelings and desires are not themselves sinful, though they are disordered by the disordering effects of sin. As long as you remain celibate, you are perfectly in the clear. It is only in seeking sexual expression that you will find yourself in actual, culpable contradiction to God's will. Sexuality is exclusively for marriage, and marriage is, by God's design, essentially heterosexual because it is essentially defined by the miracle of reproduction, of sharing by love in God's work of creating new life.

 

I realize that this is a frustrating answer. But I honestly believe that today we have lost the depth value of non-sexual, same-sex relationships. People should be able to have very close, very intimate, very emotional connections with people of their own gender, and that should also be possible without the complications of sexuality added to the mix. We are cheating ourselves by thinking that the two things must go together.

 

Also, if denying sexual fulfillment with members of the same-sex seems like a tall order, that's because it certainly is. The Church ought to be behind you at every step, supporting your chastity while calling you to it. Too many churches prefer either to support immorality or to call for chastity without any help. But a good church, people who truly love God and their fellow believers and are oriented towards building each other up, will provide the emotional, psychological, and social resources to give you strength, meaning, and even truer love in the pursuit of a spiritually pure sexuality.

 

People today imagine that sex is necessary for identity and personal fulfillment. Christ says a firm No to that, declaring that He is Himself the source of identity and fulfillment, and that we are to experience this by knowing Him in Scripture and prayer, meeting with Him as part of His body in sacrament and fellowship, and becoming co-laborers with Him by advancing His Kingdom. If we wrap ourselves up with these things so much that we find ourselves n them, no sexual pains or struggles will be able to undo this gift from God.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The feelings and desires are not themselves sinful, though they are disordered by the disordering effects of sin. As long as you remain celibate, you are perfectly in the clear. It is only in seeking sexual expression that you will find yourself in actual, culpable contradiction to God's will. Sexuality is exclusively for marriage, and marriage is, by God's design, essentially heterosexual because it is essentially defined by the miracle of reproduction, of sharing by love in God's work of creating new life.

 

I realize that this is a frustrating answer. But I honestly believe that today we have lost the depth value of non-sexual, same-sex relationships. People should be able to have very close, very intimate, very emotional connections with people of their own gender, and that should also be possible without the complications of sexuality added to the mix. We are cheating ourselves by thinking that the two things must go together.(...)

 

Oh such wise words. Humans were designed for deep, emotional intimacy and it's really rewarding to make those connections. They're bliss, sheer bliss. I have a few and it's beyond anything i've ever experienced in the romance department.

However, you saying that you'll stand by the side of your lover, another human, instead of following what God calls you, merely tells me that you place more value on your happiness,desire, or want of love with another human than you do on your relationship with God.  From what I gather, it indicates some misplaced priorities.

I'm not saying all of my priorities are in line, but if comes down to human love vs God's love, I'm going with God's love. I've experienced both, and human love produces bursts of warm fuzzies and longing, while God's love provides fulfillment unlike anything I've experienced along with this unshakable peace.   This is actually something i'm currently going through. I'm starting to like this kid and it's blatantly obvious that he likes me, and we get along REALLY well and share more common interests than anyone else I know.

However, he's not serious about being with God, and he's certainly not headed in a direction I want to go in. It's really hard to deny the desires of the heart, the want of romance and stuff. This kid is really nice and from a non-spiritual standpoint we're "perfect" for each other.  But, I'm getting a resounding "No." from my creator. It gets louder every time I spend time with the guy. "No, don't get your heart involved." I'm listening to that, and listening closely. 

So, short answer,

Yes, it's wrong to "follow your heart" and ignore what God says about homosexual romance/sexual behaviors.  Yes, it's wrong to place another human's affection on a pedestal and disregard God's laws.  

 

  

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh such wise words. Humans were designed for deep, emotional intimacy and it's really rewarding to make those connections. They're bliss, sheer bliss. I have a few and it's beyond anything i've ever experienced in the romance department.

However, you saying that you'll stand by the side of your lover, another human, instead of following what God calls you, merely tells me that you place more value on your happiness,desire, or want of love with another human than you do on your relationship with God. From what I gather, it indicates some misplaced priorities.

I'm not saying all of my priorities are in line, but if comes down to human love vs God's love, I'm going with God's love. I've experienced both, and human love produces bursts of warm fuzzies and longing, while God's love provides fulfillment unlike anything I've experienced along with this unshakable peace. This is actually something i'm currently going through. I'm starting to like this kid and it's blatantly obvious that he likes me, and we get along REALLY well and share more common interests than anyone else I know.

However, he's not serious about being with God, and he's certainly not headed in a direction I want to go in. It's really hard to deny the desires of the heart, the want of romance and stuff. This kid is really nice and from a non-spiritual standpoint we're "perfect" for each other. But, I'm getting a resounding "No." from my creator. It gets louder every time I spend time with the guy. "No, don't get your heart involved." I'm listening to that, and listening closely.

So, short answer,

Yes, it's wrong to "follow your heart" and ignore what God says about homosexual romance/sexual behaviors. Yes, it's wrong to place another human's affection on a pedestal and disregard God's laws.

I worded that phrase wrong. I have and I always will follow God until the end of my life and onwards. But all the backlash towards homosexual relationships has caused me to doubt. I love the Lord, I do, and one saying I've always held onto was, "God loves all". I love Him, I follow Him, I've done everything for Him and for Him only. How would my preference in girls immediately change who I am as a person when I've stayed the same the entire time; when my faith in Him has remained strong; when I'm no different from the person I used to be before I figured out my feelings? Edited by lonelyhands

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm an 18 year old girl and even though I am straight I feel like this passage from the show Greys Anatomy (haha I know) could possibly help you.

"I was raised to be a good man in a storm. Raised to love my country. Love my family. Protect the things I love. When my father, Colonel Daniel Robinson of the United States Marine Corps, heard that I was a lesbian he said he only had one question. I was prepared for "How fast can you get the hell out of my house?" But instead, it was "Are you still who I raised you to be?" My father believes in country the way that you believe in God. And my father is not a man who bends, but he bent for me because I am his daughter. I'm a good man in a storm." 

 

In my eyes, Christian and all, I truly believe that you should be able to love whoever you want to love regardless of their gender. I believe that it's ultimately not important to who you are attracted to, but who you love and if that person ends up being a girl that's okay as long as you love her. 

If you are still the person who God has helped you become and you still trust in him and love him, everything will be okay. I believe in corinthians 13:4-8 and I think that if you are gay that's okay. So no, I believe that it is not wrong for you to like girls as a girl. 

 

msg me if you want to talk xxxxx

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now